Take me back...

I'm sitting in bed at 2:21 in the morning, not able to sleep, with my headphones in my ears blaring the sweet sounds of the Garden State Soundtrack being extremely sentimental. I'm not sure if I'm being sentimental because of the music I'm listening to, of if I chose this music because I'm in a sentimental mood. Either way, this is the situation I'm in.

Sometimes I just want to shout out to the universe:
STOP. 
TIME IS GOING TO FAST. 
I do not approve of this.
Please, take me back to the easier times.
The times of me going to the ditch pool and hearing Red Hot Chili Peppers come on the radio every two songs.
The times of running around barefoot on steaming hot cement until my feet were permanently black, o matter how hard I scrubbed.
The times where I made up my own religion and said that everything had feeling and prayed that the plate wouldn't feel too much pain when I scratched it with my steak knife.
The times where I was a little older and pretended I was sophisticated because I drank scotch and smoked cigars with my friends on a Saturday night even though we were in high school and had no idea what the hell good scotch tasted like or the proper way to smoke a cigar.
The times of driving with my friends with no place to go and a case full of mix CDs.
The times where all of my friends were alive and happy and healthy.
The times of watching movie after movie with my best friends and laughing until I cried.
Take me back to the easier times.




I'm feeling so many things all at once because I MISS the old days where my worries were so minuscule, yet I am so incredibly happy with where I am today. I know I don't actually want to go back to those times because hey, I've already lived through them. And in all reality, they may be easier times in hindsight but when I lived through them I still had rough times. At the same time it's hard to not get caught up in the past when I think of all the crazy things going on in my life right now even if I love those things.

When did I grow up?! When did all these things I'm remembering become a thing of the past? I feel like it was just yesterday that I was fighting with my best friend because she took an extra turn on the computer after she died in the game, but that was over ten years ago. TEN YEARS, not yesterday.

When did I grow up, get married and decide to become a doctor?! I feel like I've been placed in this life because everything is just happening whether I want it to or not. Luckily I DO want it to happen and am thoroughly enjoying the way it's progressing. It's a life I love and wouldn't trade for anything. I love having a loving husband and a beautiful dog to come home to. I love that I know what I want to do with my life and that I am actually achieving those goals. It's just mind-blowing to think of all these things I've succeeded at that have put me where I am today.

I'm sure in ten more years I'll look back on this time of my life and think, 'Man, those were the simple days!'

So I'm making more of an effort to really focus on what's going on write now and try to absorb it all. Take more walks with my husband and dog, take beautiful pictures, read outside, take hikes instead of being on Facebook, cook amazing dinners and savor the fresh air as it comes in my back door. I guess, in a way, just live a more thoughtful life.

Whew! Well with that all laid out, I'm ready to sleep. I hope all this blabber made sense to someone, and if not, sorry! I don't feel like this all the time, thankfully, just sometimes. Do any of you feel this way?

And I need to do more things like lay in the sun with Roxi Girl!

Happiness.

Today is one of those days that I feel like shouting, "I am the happiest person in the world, I love my man, and everything is perfect!" I hate when people put something like that our their Facebook update though, because a lot of the times it means their life is crumbling...or about to. Seriously! It seems more like a 'front' than anything, but I could be wrong. {And I know in some case I am wrong! Oh...and sorry if you do that, I still love you. Don't be offended. :D  }

But today is a good day. I got off work at 4 and came home to a tired Vince and Roxi because they had gone on a long bike ride. I did a bit of cleaning, started dinner with Vince, and then decided I wanted to workout.

I did the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred video, which of course kicked my ass, and then guess what I did? As if the video wasn't enough, I RAN. IN THE FREEZING COLD. It is super cold outside today, considering it was snowing on and off all day. I never ever run in the cold because it hurts my lungs so gosh darn much, but I was already warmed up from the video and just felt like going going going. 

I ran about a mile and guess what guys, I didn't have to stop once! I got into 'the zone' and forgot that I was even running and then BAM, I was close to home. It's never really happened that way so I'm kind of a lot excited about it because I'm having a breakthrough in working out!

It's such a great feeling to not die after a workout like I used to. I never really liked working out, but now that I can actually SEE and FEEL a difference, I love it! I've pretty consistently done the video every 2 or 3 days for the past week and a half and now it's getting a little easier. I'm not quite ready jump up to level 2 yet, but I can feel I'm close! And now, because of my 8 Weeks to a Better Me Goals, I'm going to get to level two really quickly.

If you live in Flag and hate working out but want to workout, let me know and we can workout together! All it takes is a little motivation and then eventually you will like it. And don't worry, I'm not one of those people that will make you feel like crap because I'm 'so awesome'. I pretty much still suck at athletic things and am in NO way 'in shape', but I'm getting better! 

I never in a million years thought I would remotely like working out {Hello. I got a C in pretty much every PE class because I would get an F in the athletic part but get an A in the health/test part. My friend Annie and I frequently just sat together or took naps on the pole vaulting mats while everyone else played flag football because we 'forgot' and wore flipflops...} but I can honestly say it's growing on me. 

Ok, that's enough about working out. Two posts in two days aboutt it? Ew. What am I turning into?

On another good note, I'm getting the shading done on my tattoo on Thursday! So next time you see this little guy, it will be one step closer to being finished by the wonderful Tanin.

Fat Cow.

I know, I know, I haven't posted a Salutary Sunday post yet! I was busy all day yesterday making things I love and cleaning, so I didn't get around to it. And then today, of all days, I decided to start working out again. So I did the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, and now my legs are made of jelly and I just want to sit on my couch and read a book...not hangout with the computer. TOO MUCH THINKING INVOLVED. So, I will leave you with a post that I wrote over the weekend. I find it hilarious, buuuuut I doubt you will. So, sorry about that.

If you read my Saturday Love post this weekend, then you know I came across a disc that had goodies on it from 2005/2006. Out of many things saved on the disc, there was a paper I wrote and I find it especially awesome, though I'm not sure if you all will. I had a class assignment to write a paper as if I were running for class president. Here is my response:

            "I, Fat Cow, want to be your class president because I want to make the Flagstaff Middle School 8^th grade more functional. If you vote for me I promise that each and every one of you will be heard. I promise to be trustworthy and very responsible.  Some of the main things I want to change is the dress code, when we can use cell phones, and how much time we have between classes.

            I want to change the dress code because many students express themselves and their “styles” through their clothes. Girls, if you to be able to wear skirts and shorts, then you should be able to; guys, if you want to sag your pants, then you should be able to! All in all, I want to have the 8^th graders be allowed to show off their many “styles”.

            Another thing that will change if I am your class president is when we can use cell phones. Has one of your friends ever come up to you and asked if you wanted to hang out after school? If so, how did you get a hold of your parents? Did you maybe go to the bathroom and use your phone, or hide outside of school hoping that a teacher wouldn’t see you? That’s what many students do because they are afraid of getting their phones taken away. Well, that will no longer have to happen. I will make it so that you can talk to your parents before school, at lunch, and after school.

            And last but not least, how much time in between classes will change if I am your class president. Besides getting an education, I think one of the main reasons youth come to school is to see their friends. The half hour at lunch time isn’t enough! Us teens have so much to talk about and not enough time, and I want to change that so that we at least have 5-6 minutes in between classes.

            These are only a few reasons why you should vote for me, Fat Cow, as your Flagstaff Middle School 8^th grade class president. Again, I will listen to every word you guys say and do something about it. I want your middle school years to be the best years of your life. Vote for me! Fat Cow!"

Ok, {1} HOW DID I FORGET MY NICKNAME WAS FAT COW?! Seriously, how does one forget that fact? I was called that for quite some time and had no recollection of that anymore until I read this paper. {2} OH THE DRAMA. The only 'big issues' in my life at that time were really cell phone use, dress code, and class schedules? I didn't even HAVE a cell phone at that time! and {3} I'm not sure if you noticed, but I was a pretty good writer. I kind of surprise myself at how well that paper was thought out. So organized you guys!

What were your nicknames in middle school? I had a few other ones, but I don't remember them now...old friends, help me remember!

And now, I will leave you with this:

{I love this picture, it's perfect in every way, and it's especially great because it was shot on a disposable camera! This was on a river trip with my best friend from elementary/middle school, Micaela.}

Saturday Love: Middle School Edition

While going through some old music CD's yesterday, I found a disc labeled Transfer 1. Having no idea what it was, I popped it in my computer and OH MY GOD. Awesome things from 2005/2006 like pictures, papers I wrote for school, quotes, stories, and video. So for my Saturday Love, I am posting some pictures that I love and that prove a lot of things about who I was. I want to print them all and keep them forever!

{1} Proof that I was artistic and saw the beauty in everything:

{I doubt anyone else in the world could see the beauty in the silver plug!}

{2} Proof that I was great at cleaning:

{And yes, that is a hammock hanging from my ceiling! My dad was a pretty cool dad.}

{3} Proof that I was always a giantess who never fit in my shirts:

{4} Proof that I was always fashionable:

{5} Proof that I was always normal looking:

{Goodness, so much BLUE.}

{6} Proof that I was independent and didn't have to be with my friends all the time:

{7} Proof that I was extremely photogenic:

{8} Proof that I was athletic at one point in my life:

{9} Proof that I was always a healthy eater and that I didn't spend massive amounts of time at Bigfoot BBQ eating french fries:

{10} Proof that I was always wearing high end jewelry:

{11} Proof that....oh my...I have nothing to say about this:

And yes, that is a gallon jug lid on my necklace. My boyfriend made it for me, shut up.

Does anyone else love going through old things? I know I love going through old letters, notes and photos. Whenever I do I always laugh, but I also get an overwhelming sense of sadness. I MISS those easy days! 

They felt so tough at the time and many days it felt like my life was going to be over, but looking back, they were so simple. All I worried about was my boyfriend, my friends and homework. I know when I'm older and have kids of my own, I will look back at these days and feel the same thing. 

I'm sure I will also look back at my 'fashion' posts and laugh at myself and be so awesomely embarrassed, just like I am now. I can't wait to show you guys more pictures. It was hard to narrow down the 500+ pictures I found to just 11!