Hello from the other side.

Mic check, one two, one two...anyone out there? Can you hear me?

Well. This is embarrassing. It's been quite the journey since I last updated the bloggity blog, so here's a little one. Sorry for the picture reposts from Instagram, I'll try to be a little more original next time. Maybe I'll start posting more often since I actually have a life now that doesn't revolve around school.

As an update from my last post, I got a nursing job! As I suspected, it wasn't in the ICU as I desired, but on a medical-surgical floor. Honestly, it has been great and has far exceeded my expectations. I've already been able to shock a patient, push some scary cardiac drugs, and grow leaps and bounds as a nurse in a very short time. I have SO much to learn, but my experience has been wonderful so far. Also, I'm realizing that the part of this job I thought I was going to hate the most - small talk with families and patients - is actually one of my favorite parts. Some days it's hard being an introvert, but it's so nice to help their day be a little better and there are many ways to educate and share my knowledge, which is the best. I'm a teacher at heart, so it's perfect!

I still have two weeks of my new grad nurse residency program before I'm on my own as a nurse (!!! a real! live! nurse!), and will be switching to nights this weekend. I had two weeks of general orientation to the hospital, then a grueling, oh so grueling, five week class that was harder than all of nursing school combined as well as one 12 hour shift each week on my unit. It was a lot of education over a short amount of time and I was not expecting the class to be that hard or for there to be so much homework involved, so I'm glad it's done. I learned a lot and I'm so grateful to have done it, but holy shit. I am done done done with school for now. Then I had a month or so of working days with a preceptor, which I finished this week. Then end is near!

During that hard five week stretch, Devin got almost all her teeth and I started hating her jusssssst a little. She got six or seven (?) teeth during that time and she was just a beast throughout. She missed me, I missed her, she just wanted to nurse 24/7, and I'm a mean mom who wouldn't give her medicine even though everyone told me to constantly. But! We survived! And she just has a few teeth left to go. I am very glad that I'm still nursing her because I have no idea how we would have survived without it. What do other moms do?!

Another harrowing situation we just survived was hand, foot and mouth disease! I thought she had gotten a yeast rash or something, but then it moved from her thighs to all over and she didn't even have a rash in the diaper area. There were two nights that were easily the worst nights she's/we've ever had and I ended up having to sleep in her room so that Vince could have her in our room because I had to work the next morning. I woke up often to her screaming, because she didn't sleep either night. But again, we survived! Some of the blisters are peeling off still and her feet are gross, but she's back to being a happy clam and up to her old wildchild antics like climbing on tables and sneaking into the chicken coop.

Vince has been working one day a week and staying home with Devin, which I think has made all of this transition better. He's still trying to figure out what he wants to do when he "grows up", but for now we're all in a good place. I'm finally done with homework and all the extra stuff that goes along with learning, and we're all so ready to just relax and enjoy life. We've been able to do a lot of little activities we've always wanted to do like taking picnics, going to the park, going swimming, etc. Somehow all those things went to the wayside and we were only able to focus on surviving so it's nice to actually live now. I've worked so hard for the last five years to get to this point and I'm relieved to finally say, "I'm a nurse!"

Today I am...

A blog? What's that?

Ok, but really. My track record for posting this year has been terrible. And the hardest part about getting back into blogging is feeling like I have to do an update on everything, which is just too much effort for me. So instead I'm going to act like I've been blogging three days a week for years and you know all the important details. I figure if I just start again, all the important things will come out eventually!

To ease into, I'm stealing a fill in the blank from Sara via Grace and showing you a picture of my 14 month old daughter who is not longer a baby but a walking talking human being.

Today I am…

Celebrating my first week of my new 24 hour a week position! It's still the same job I've had for almost three years now, but I'm actually budgeted hours instead of relief. I'll only be doing it for a couple months in the hopes of starting a nursing job in July, but it's awesome because Vince will have insurance and he gets to work less to stay home with Devin.

Reading Yes Please. And my gosh, it's so great! I just finished The Martian, which was just absolutely fantastic, and then read Binge after that, and it was also good. I've been on a reading kick am loving it.

Wishing I knew if I had a nursing job. The applying/hiring process can be soooooo long and drawn out!

Feeling like I'm never going back to school ever, ever. I have always said I'd get a Masters and now I'm like "If I have to do one more discussion post or format a reference in APA ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I'M GOING TO KILL SOMEONE." I'm sure that will change, but for now I'm so over it.

Wanderlusting over owning our own house with our own garden and our own farm animals. (Vince is content with chickens and only chickens, but we'll see.)

Eating an apple and raw milk.

Watching Nurse Jackie and Parenthood. Well I just finished Nurse Jackie and both Vince and I are like WHAT?! That's it?! And we just hate Jackie. But I love love love LOVE Zoe so much and wish she had a spinoff. I had started Parenthood and only got a few episodes in but have started it again at the recommendation of a friend and I just love it.

Anticipating dare I mention school one more time? You guysssss, I just can't wait to have free time and not worry about the homework I have to do.

Deciding nothing. I am not at a point in my life where I should be making decisions.

Sewing (Sara, look away, look away!) little baby carriers for Sara's kiddos....for Christmas. Oh my gosh I am the worst friend ever. I have had one done since before Christmas, and the other halfway done. Awful, I tell you, awful! But they are going to look so darn cute wearing their baby dolls/stuffed animals.

7QT

I should just never say I'm going to post something soon, because I inevitably will jinx myself and that won't happen. Too much has happened over the past many months to catch up on, so I'll do a 7 Quick Takes post a la this blog and move on. I post daily on the 'gram, so head over there if you really want to keep up to date with me! (Or my baby, I know that's why you're all here.)

1) Devin is no longer a baby. She is a crawling, standing, clapping, eating, vocalizing little chunk of joy that is so insanely opinionated already, at almost 9 months old. That comes from the Powell side of my family, so it's a good thing her middle name is Powell.

2) I am in my second to last semester of school, and senioritis is reallllll. So. So. Real. This also happens to be the busiest semester of the program, so if you combine that with having a baby, being the Student Nurses' Association president, and moving, things are cray cray.

3) Speaking of moving, WE HAVE MOVED. Into a house 5 times the size of our itty bitty apartment.  To say we are happy about it is an understatement! Devin has room to move, she has toys to play with now, Roxi has a yard, I have space to exercise in, and we have a giant garden. The house has already been more upkeep than I'm used to, but it's been good and we are less stressed. Oh, and the most exciting thing I almost forgot to mention - we have a washing machine and dryer! No more hand washing cloth diapers. I have no idea how I did it for so long.

(Don't worry, we have a gate up to block of the fireplace now!)
4) Related to the house - my grandparent's have gone on a mission to Mexico City for 18 months, and we are renting it from them. So while I am so excited about the house, it is also very bittersweet because we already miss them. They watched Devin on Monday's while I was in class, and she so loved being here with them! It will be sad that they'll miss so many fun times, but 18 months will go by pretty quickly and we have Skype.

5) I really feel like nothing else interesting is going on. Hmm. I took some fall pictures of Devin, and she is just the cutest ever.

6) I am still not able to eat dairy or eggs (and gluten, which neither of us can have) because of Devin's reaction through my breastmilk, but I've been able to add in almost everything else that I love! I have to restrict the amount of tomatoes, but overall she is handling things well. She likes to eat everything in the world as well. Update: I have been able to add small amounts of dairy back in! Hello, chai tea.

7) Reallllly struggling to think of a number 7. I have really been enjoying eating Justin's Chocolate Hazelnut Butter, I just got these leggings from Old Navy (in size tall!) and they are awesome, I won these pants and these pants in a Prana giveaway and love them (also in size tall!), wool diaper covers have been our new favorites, and this ketchup recipe made with our garden tomatoes was delicious!

Pumping for school or work soon after birth.

Due to having Devin mid semester, I was only able to take two weeks off of school before I had to go back. Some people say it's terrible timing, but it actually wasn't as bad as I expected. She slept a lot (though she did nurse every hour around the clock for the first few months!) and I was able to nap with her, I was out of the house for 24 hours of the week so it wasn't full-time, I could come home at times during lunch to nurse her, and I was also able to have the entire summer off during her extremely fun months! 

 

One thing that did cause me stress in the beginning was pumping. It wasn't that pumping was hard or difficult, I was just so worried about nipple confusion or her not wanting to nurse, thus ending our breastfeeding relationship. Aside from her being placed on my chest immediately after birth, breastfeeding was the thing I was most looking forward to and I didn't want to mess with it! Luckily, I had nothing to worry about as we had no problem and she still loves to nurse constantly, and will hopefully continue into toddlerhood.

 

When I was scouring the internet for advice on pumping really early, I found nothing. 'Early' to most people meant going back to work at 6 or 8 weeks. The advice would be to start pumping 4 weeks before going back to work, and to start bottle feeding two weeks before going back to get the baby used to a bottle. That would have meant I should have started pumping two week before I delivered, and started bottle feeding the day she was born! Obviously, that would be impossible and not ideal. 

 

So here is a rough outline of what I did, in case you are one of the lucky few who has to go to school/work after a very short period of time and you want to continue breastfeeding.

 

Nurse on demand. Devin, like most babies, nursed for nutrition as well as comfort. For the first two weeks, we basically sat on a recliner with her attached to my boob about 90% of the day. She would nurse, and then taper off to little suckles while she slept. This signaled to my body to make more milk, and helped increase my supply. While at the hospital she would nurse for hours straight and all through the night, and even though it was really uncomfortable at times in the beginning, I just let her do her thing. 

 

Do NOT use a pacifier. As I said, Devin liked to comfort nurse. Many moms choose to put a pacifier in for this, but I was adamant about no paci. One) it took away her ability to tell my body to make more milk, and two) it would likely mean that I would set her down to do something else, decreasing our physical contact, and decreasing my milk supply. We started her on a paci around 6 weeks because the comfort nursing was making her acid reflux worse by never allowing her food to digest, but we made sure breastfeeding was well established, I had a pumping routine in place, and I had a solid amount of milk.

 

Start pumping once your milk is in. My milk came in very quickly - while I was still in the hospital - and continued to increase in amount. Around day 7, once my milk was 'completely' in (it would continue to increase over the next many weeks, but it was changing from colostrum to regular milk), I started pumping a few times a day after Devin finished nursing. I was nervous at first, thinking I was 'stealing' the milk from her next feed, but really it just helped increase my milk supply after a couple days. I would get about a half ounce to start with, and it quickly increased to 1-2 ounces per pumping. I was trying to stock up enough milk for at least the first two days of school, in case I didn't end up pumping enough while I was away for a total of 16 hours. I was following the 'baby eats one ounce per hour' rule, so 16 ounces was my goal. I froze the milk in 1 ounce portions, since I assumed she would stick with her eating every hour routine even though I wasn't there. 

 

Introduce a bottle. Three days before I was supposed to go to school, I had Vince try to give her a bottle. I heard good things about breastfeeding mothers using the Dr. Brown's bottles with a preemie sized nipple, so the baby still had to work hard to get the milk out. She kept refusing it with Vince and he was stressed out about it (he also got little amounts of sleep that first week!) so I ended up trying to feed her. I was still so distraught about how it could effect our breastfeeding relationship, so once she got a hang of the bottle and started eating, I cried! And then sobbed! It was awful to be the one feeding her from a bottle. Vince realized how upset I was and took over from there. I had him feed her one time for those three days while I pumped so they could both get used to it, and then I would nurse her immediately after as well so she wouldn't 'forget' how to nurse. I could definitely feel a difference in her latch, but after a minute or so she would correct herself and remember.  

 

Relax. When I went back to school, I was able to pump more than enough for her. I was lucky enough to have Vince or my grandparents be home with Devin, so I was confident she was in good hands getting the love and attention she needed. Had I been stressed out about her situation, I'm sure it would have had an impact on my milk supply. She didn't have any issues with nipple confusion, and she would nurse even more when I was home because she missed the physical contact. We bed-share, which I think also has a huge part in our success because she had full access to my boobs, and I could get enough rest while still feeding her constantly. Every situation is different, though, so you'll have to see what works for you!

 

My next post will be pumping tips, so be sure to look for that.  

SOS

Today is day 4 of post-vaccine reaction. Send help!

The nights are getting a little better, but the days seem to get worse! Yesterday she didn't sleep longer than 15 minutes at a time, often just staring off at the same spot for minutes. She wouldn't nurse longer than 5 minutes either, so she was up a lot wanting to eat last night. I didn't mind that part, I still love holding her little body to me, doing a job no one else can do. I don't like that she would wake up immediately screaming, though. 

One of the vaccines had egg in it, which she has showed signs of intolerance to through my breastmilk (even chicken!) and I think that's what is making everything so bad. Her belly is in constant distress, her poops are bad (a little better today) and she was spitting up a ton (also a little better today).  

Also, two days after her last Hep B shot at ten days old, she started having really rapid breathing. Her respirations were in the high 70s constantly instead of the normal 30s-40s. Her doctor did many tests to find out why this was happening but found no reason. After going on for a month, it finally tapered off the last two weeks and has been totally normal...until two days after this last Hep B shot on Wednesday! Her breathing is now rapid again. Needless to say, we're re-evaluating this whole vaccine schedule.

I have a big assignment due Monday morning that I of course haven't been able to work on, so I plan on camping out in bed with Devin and my homework hoping the extra cuddle time will be good enough to get work done while I lay next to her. Fingers crossed! 

Late night.

It's almost midnight and I still have hours left on my homework assignments. It's such a magical thing to look down and see the silhouette of my nursing babe, her tiny ear perfectly lit up by the glow of my computer, and hear her gulping down nourishment. Time to push off doing homework for yet another day so I can embrace her cuddles and sweet milky smell in bed.

Little Life Update

I've been starting to get a little too post happy on Instagram and Facebook, so I need to direct some energy to this blog so people don't start freaking out on me.

// Vince has torn some ligaments in his ankle and was ordered to be on complete bed rest for 5 days, then slowly become more weight bearing over the next six weeks with crutches. I've been tending to his every need, being sure to throw in a, 'Yes, your prince,' or 'Yes, my king,' when he's being a little extra demanding. (I don't like my coffee ground like that, can you do it a little finer? This meal definitely needs a little more salt. My toes are cold, can you put the blanket over it a little better?) All in all he's very appreciative of everything and is trying to be more mobile with his crutches and help out, but then I just yell at him to go lay back down because something will get dropped or spilled and I'll have to pick it up anyways. BUT, it's the thought that counts so it is nice that he is trying. Plus, he took care of me in way worse condition for many months so I can't really complain. (He wanted me to point out that I am neglecting rubbing arnica cream on his ankle in order to write this, so I'm doing a terrible job.)

It has honestly been a little blessing in disguise though because I get to spend SO MUCH TIME with my husband before school starts in a week. He was supposed to go on a ski trip to Colorado for six days (!!!) which was making me anxious, but I of course wasn't going to tell him he couldn't go because our big trip to Jackson Hole for skiing was canceled, the snow has been terrible here, and he's only been able to ski three days this year. Needless to say, I am sad he is so upset about missing his skiing, but way happy he was here! Before school started last week we were snuggling on the couch and I had the realization that it was one of the last 'real' times to spend together because then my time would be filled with nursing school and clinicals and his would be filled with work, and then very very soon a new baby! Luckily school has been slow to start, he's still not allowed to work, and we've been able to have plenty of time together. Maybe too much time.

32w5d
It's also been helpful at kicking my butt into gear. The nesting has fully kicked in and the dishes have been done after every use, our house has been very clean, fresh meals have been made multiple times a day, and I got prepared for the school year with freezer meals, meal planning, and snack lists. Everything seems to be situated for the baby (at some point I'll talk about how things are set up because we're staying in our <400 and="" any="" are="" basically="" bedroom="" carseat="" debut.="" even="" foot="" for="" her="" house="" installed="" is="" make="" one="" p="" ready="" she="" square="" the="" time="" to="" wants="" we="">

He starts physical therapy on the 30th so we'll hopefully know more about when he can start walking and what the estimated healing time will be. It would have been easier if he just fractured his ankle, it heals so much faster!

// On that note, it finally snowed about a foot here! I didn't let it deter me from my daily walk even when it was below freezing and snowing. It melted within a couple days, though, and it's back to being sunny. Today was incredibly cold though, but sadly no snow in the forecast.

And this is from our walk the day before in the woods when it was warm enough to take off my jacket and sweater.

// So much food has been eaten and I am now 166 pounds. I've never been over 150 pounds (I don't think I've ever even been 150 pounds) so it is really strange to think, 'I'm almost 170 pounds!' My arms and legs are still way skinny from the 30 pounds I lost at the beginning of my pregnancy so it's weird to look at myself and wonder where all the weight is. This puts me at 19 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, so I'm hoping my doctor will be a little more happy with me at my next appointment now that I'm getting closer to my 'goal' weight gain. It has surprisingly taken a lot of effort to eat so much, and if I skip even one meal of the day from sleeping in or being lazy, I can see a difference on the scale the next day, so it's been like a full-time job to eat healthy, filling meals! I realize I may sound like an asshole complaining about how hard it is to gain weight, but it really is stressful in it's own way, so no judgy judgy.

// Roxi has continued to be all sorts of cute and needy and knowing something is up. Her world is going to come crashing down when the baby girl arrives!

// Christmas was spent in Utah with family, and it was so great! We stopped in Vegas for a night on our way up there and ate In-N-Out (multiple double-doubles protein style and chocolate shakes) and PF Chang's, which was amazing as always, and took a short walk around. We pulled into town at sunset and it was beautiful!

30w3d
Then we were in condos with family for the next four days! There was close to 40 of us split between four condos, with the condo I was staying in being the 'main hub' for people to hangout at through the day, eat, etc. It was so great to be able to hangout with so many aunts, uncles, and cousins, even if over half of us had a cold of some sort.

From the drive home.

// Going back to school - I started last week! My plan is to just keep going until I have her, take about two weeks off classes, then keep going! I'm not allowed to miss many clinical days and have to make them up anyways, so I really don't have any choice but to continue because I don't want to take a semester off. Luckily I'll be able to pump at clinicals and even have the option to have Vince bring the baby to me to feed! Our plan is for him to do that once per clinical day so we can see each other, and then he'll just give her a bottle of pumped milk the rest of the time. One clinical is a ten hour day, the other is an 8 hour day, and class is four hours a week with a simulation lab being four hours every few weeks, so it's not really that much time away when you compare it to moms that work full-time, but it'll still be difficult! Fortunately we won't have to do daycare either because Vince will be with her both of my clinical days, and my grandparents will be with her on my class/lab day. That will definitely make it easier knowing she'll be with people who love her and will take amazing care of her! Spring break is also the middle of March so we'll just have to survive a couple weeks at most to make it to a little break.

31 weeks and all fancy for family pictures

// Other than starting school and Vince being injured, there hasn't been much happening! I'll be 35 weeks tomorrow (update coming!) so baths are a daily routine to prevent my back from tightening especially with 8 and 10 hour clinical days coming up, Hypnobabies sessions happen most days to prepare me for a natural birth, plenty of coconut oil has been rubbed on the belly, calming essential oils have been diffused, homework is being turned in early...relaxing in its own way!

34w4d

26 weeks

26w1d - the lazy shot. And no stretch marks yet, luckily! Just the indentation from my shirt.

25w2d

Weight: 152 pounds (-30 total/+ 6)

Sleep: Has drastically changed this past week. I am definitely up about every hour, whether it's to change positions or go pee. I was able to do a partially on my belly, partially on my side sleep for a while that was great because I'm normally a stomach sleeper, but that's now gone. So the side it is. That leads to things like major neck aches and my arm falling asleep! And I feel like I use my other hand to support myself somehow so my wrists get really sore. I was never told about this part of pregnancy. ;) I sleep with a body pillow on both sides which is way helpful, and I'm thinking it's time to add a second one under my head!

Cravings: Hard boiled egg sandwiches are still all the rage (rave?) and healthy foods in general like salads. 

I've been thinking a lot about BBQ chips as well, but haven't eaten them. I bought some the other day and thought I'd bought them before so assumed they were gluten free. I sat on the couch to eat one and as I was bringing a chip to my mouth, I realized I hadn't checked the bag yet. So I read the ingredients quickly and look at the little area that says 'Contains:' and it didn't say anything about wheat. So I put the chip to my lips and thought, 'Hmm, I should probably read the ingredients one more time, just to be safe.' Sure enough, there was malted barley syrup which is not gluten free! I was so bummed, but so happy I caught it before I ate it or I would have been one sorry pregnant lady. (But at least I would have pooped!)

Movement: Never ending it seems, which I love! Even though it is really uncomfortable at times, especially after I've had a big meal, it's quite an amazing feeling. There have been some really big movements happening so it's been fun to watch it beneath my skin. She'll sometime do multiple punches like a punching bag, so my stomach will just look like it's seizing or something. 

Wedding Ring On or Off: Still off.

Best Moment of the Week: Having my nursing clinicals for school end for the semester. They'll be quite rough next semester since we have two days instead of one and I'll be way bigger, but I'm happy for the break.

My clinical carpool ladies!

Looking Forward To: Taking our baby moon in a few weeks! We'll be heading up to Jackson Hole so Vince can ski and I can cozy up in a luxury hotel, then visiting a friend who is a few weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy (our belly's are going to be so cute together), then heading to a condo in southern Utah for a family reunion of sorts for Christmas. 

Incredibly flattering, I know. ;) This was after a simlab day for school, and this is what I wear under my scrubs! My 'slimmer' belly band, compression socks, and a long sleeve shirt. Vince kept telling me I looked huge and wanted a picture. 25w5d

What I Miss: Getting out of bed normally. I feel like a bug stuck on it's back sometimes because I have to put my arms and legs in the air for momentum to make it over my body pillow and sit up!

Milestones: Not fitting in my bras, except a nursing bra I bought. I've been wearing sports bras for a bit but they were getting too snug so I reached for a 'real' bra. It was quite hilarious when I put it on because my boobs literally squished out the top, bottom and sides and I couldn't breath. While not a milestones for already big chested ladies, it's a little fun for me not to be an A-cup any more! Except now I am down to one comfortable bra...

(Read about week 14 weeks and 25 weeks.)

Emotions with nursing. There are just so many.

I've written before about my fears surrounding death within my role as a nurse, and now I'm dealing with something that may be harder: emotional people! It seems so silly.

A brief explanation of how the nursing program works: we have classes in person, online classes, and clinicals. Clinicals are the days we go to a facility (hospital, nursing home, etc) to do hands on nursing. At the beginning of each semester we are taught various skills in a lab, and clinical is our chance to 'practice' on real people. This semester our clinicals have been at a long term care facility, which is basically a nursing home, but the area that we are in mostly has older people there for rehab after some type of surgery.

I've done clinicals for my Certified Nursing Assistant class at a different nursing home here in town, and there is such a difference between those clinicals and the nursing programs. I am now in a nursing student position instead of CNA, so I do more meds, injections, and wound care as opposed to the CNA, who takes care of things like brief changes, feeding, bed changes, etc.

So for most of this semester I've been performing a lot of the nursing duties, which doesn't give a lot of time for patient interaction. We interact when we give them meds, check glucose levels, and administer insulin, but it's for such a short time because there are 20+ other people to give meds to within a certain time frame. A couple weeks ago the state inspectors were at the facility so everyone was on high alert, and the nurses were hesitant to let us students do anything. That led me to doing a lot of CNA work, which also meant a lot more time could be spent with the residents. I fed people, got them up to use the restroom, and changed a lot of briefs (A LOT).

Despite doing the 'dirty work', I loved it because I was able to interact more with the residents. This was also extremely saddening. A partner and I were changing a ladies brief and she was completely unable to talk or move herself and was just wanting to hold my hand. I crouched down next to her bed and held her hand and she instantly made eye contact and wouldn't look away. It was one of those moments where I felt like I could see into her soul and I felt so much fear and confusion coming from her. There wasn't much I could do in that situation except assure her that we were just cleaning her up and we'd be done soon, but of course didn't feel like that was enough. It's such a hard thing to look at someone who is scared or hurting and know there is nothing you can do to get rid of it.

Recently I was assisting with a resident who had been in WWII, and in the middle of our conversation about something unrelated, he casually mentioned that he had killed 87 people, and said, "I bet you didn't think this morning that you would be taking care of a murderer," and my heart just broke in two. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in a war and to kill someone else to save yourself and your countrymen, and all at once I just felt all the sadness, guilt, and pain that this resident has been living with for most of his life. All I said, in a tone of understanding, was, 'You had to do what you had to do," and gave a weak smile. Obviously that probably didn't do anything to help him, but again, there isn't anything I could have said to make him feel better.

The hard thing about treating patient's like this is that I am so sensitive to how people are feeling. I am a cancer sign through and through and a complete people pleaser who loves to help in any way possible, so it's really hard to not be able to help. I totally get it now when nurses say they take their work home or when a nurse gets burned out so quickly - it's hard to get rid of an emotion.

So that is one really important thing I'm learning about nursing, how to deal with my patients emotions as well as my own, and to find a way to separate the two to a certain extent. I know my ability to cope with it will evolve over nursing school and into my career, but I wish there was a quick fix. SO MANY EMOTIONS!