Update Shmupdate.

Some life updates from January/February followed by an Instagraham picture. (Well, some I actually didn't post on Instagram, so just a photo.) I'm @iffyinklings if you want to get instant access to my exciting life!

// Do you know how stressful it is that an A in the nursing program is a 93? And that a 78 is failing, as in you can not pass go into the next class and must go straight to the jail that is the same class all over again? No thank you. As a straight A student (almost, save for the damn the Spanish class that I got a B in THAT I DIDN'T EVEN NEED TO TAKE but thought would be fun (it wasn't)) I am used to working hard, but now the information is even more hard so I have to work harder and that is just too many hards in one sentence. No.

Me riding to orientation the first day, not realizing how cold it was, and me on my first day of lab wearing my pajamas scrubs.

// I made this for my bestie's birthday and lurve it.

// This is a reminder to myself to make time to work out during stressful weeks because it totally helps. It's so easy to just shut down when so many things are happening and going wrong and even easier to just sit on my couch reading Harry Potter or watching Netflix, but then I get sucked into the dark hole of doom that is so hard to crawl out of. Working out during bad times makes things so much more manageable and even though I love love love being physical, I still forget!

My post-workout smoothie after finally getting out of my funk.

// The color gold is growing on me bit by bit. But I still hate gold jewelry. I think. As I said, it may be growing on me.

// I managed to paint three whole walls in my kitchen before I started classes again, so that means my kitchen is half beautiful white and half ugly yellow off-white. I'll just stare at the wall that has this shelf and tell myself I'm satisfied for the next four months until summer break.

// Vince and I went on vacation to the beach in California. Hopefully more pictures will be posted to please your eyeballs soon. I of course took like half a million. Which reminds me that I never even posted pictures of my trip from August (?) that I took with my friend to a different part in California, so maybe you shouldn't get your hopes up.

// Food, food, and more food.

//The House of the Lord, if you are Mormon. Which I am not, but I still went and enjoyed the beauty.

// Homegrown eggs are so much cooler than store-bought, and not in a douchey 'I'm cooler than you' way. Just look at the print and texture on this egg! I wish I could raise my own little chickens instead of having to pay a guy here in town.

// In honor of my New Year's goal of enjoying life and doing exciting things, I climbed in the tree tops at Flagstaff Extreme Adventure Course. I was one of the 20% who are able to finish the course, and it was awesome. I used to think I was afraid of heights, but I was surprisingly not nervous so I guess I can't tell people I'm afraid anymore. I'm thinking it's because I have really bad depth perception and didn't actually realize how far up I was because when I look at pictures I'm like, 'HOLY SHIT, YOU ARE SO STUPIDLY HIGH WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WOMAN?!'

We also rode a new trail in a town we've never ridden in before, Prescott. The trail was all sorts of awesome and probably one of my most favorite trails, but it was so windy that my ears ended up hurting really bad. We'll go back soon, though!

Good god my genetics are fantastic, my teeth are perfectly straight and I never had braces. Now if only my smile could be straight.

// Baybee sitter 4 lyfe.

Balancing Act

The past couple weeks I've just felt like I might EXPLODE at any second. Like a bomb waiting to go off as I run on my mouse wheel from one location to the next. Luckily, I acknowledged I've been feeling this way and have been doing things to counteract that feeling.

I really like consistency, a lot. To a certain extent, I like doing the same thing over and over because it establishes a routine, and I like routines. I brush and floss my teeth the exact same way every time, starting in the top right (outer side of tooth to inner side), going to the left, then to the bottom right and back to the left. I wash dishes with the same methodology every time, fold all my towels the exact same way and if Vince does it differently I will refold it. I do this not only because it is extremely efficient (that's one of my favorite words, I LOVE efficiency) but because I know the outcome every time. I know how long it will take me to brush and floss, how many dishes I can wash before I have to change the water, and know that my towels will fit on the shelf perfectly and look nice.

I also like when there is a time for everything and I know what I have to do at specific moments throughout the day. The past few weeks have not had any kind of consistency to them, and it's been stressing me out. I've changed my work schedule a few times, changed my class schedule, changed my sleeping schedule, classes were canceled some days...too much change, even though I usually like it!

On top of that, I haven't been able to exercise as much, which is something I view as even more important than studying, but I haven't had time for that, either. Food is the number one thing in my life (because without healthy food, the rest of my life seems to crash and burn...I can't do much when I feel like crap!) and at the end of the day, that's all I've had time for.

But (there's always a but!) I've been working on that. This biggest and most helpful thing I've done is created this little sheet for the week that I can fill in the Sunday before.

I've written stuff down on it for next week, and already I feel SO much less stressed. After seeing it visually, I know everything is manageable and that I can easily handle the work/school load I have. I think my major problem before was that I wasn't able to have a complete grasp on everything that needed to be done, so I was constantly worrying that I was forgetting something, or imagining that I had so much more work to do than I really had. Now I just have to glance at the sheet and know that it's not all that much! Well, it's still a lot, but it's more manageable.

I've also been working on scheduling and organizing my time so that I do have moments to take care of all aspects of my life. I plan certain things on days that are easiest, like preparing snacks for the week on Sunday after grocery shopping and a few lunches for the days I'm not at home on a break, having my long workouts on days when I don't have a heavy class schedule, etc. Instead of waiting until I have time to do something, I just put it on the schedule.

Snacks!

Lastly, I've been saying no to things I know I can't do. I've been asked to volunteer for a couple things, watch a friends kid, help with this or that, and I've had to say no. I am such a people pleaser and it's really really hard for me to turn someone down, but for my sanity, I've had to do it! Saying no is what has allowed me to take time to myself, like going on a hike today with my best friend, and then going on a run on my own after. If I had said yes to all the things asked of me, I wouldn't have had an entire two days to myself this weekend! I only have one 'me' day since the other day is dedicated to school work and food prep for the week, but one day is enough to recharge myself for the week.

So that's that! I have 55 hours a week I need to be somewhere specifically which doesn't include homework time, I make all my meals at home, I need to workout multiple days a week and take care of my dog, and I need have a good relationship with my husband. Somehow it's all working out and I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

Full.

Life has been so invigorating and happy and challenging and tiring and full. There has been no time to sit down and write about my life because I've simply been living it. I wake up and go go go until I'm ready to lay my head on my pillow or relax with a book, and I've been enjoying it. That's how I want my life to be; full.

As you can imagine, after my miscarriage I was just...destroyed. I don't even have words to explain it. I allowed myself to sit with that for a few days and just feel it. But then I decided that instead of continuing to sit there I was going to fill my days with all the things that made me feel happy and alive and well. So I've been doing just that. I've been riding my bike, baking paleo brownies that are perfect, painting things 'Sunshine Yellow', reading books, driving fast with the windows down and my hair flying, applying for and starting a new job, playing in the rain, cuddling with my dog and husband, going to see one of my favorite bands, and tending to my garden that is producing so many strawberries I get a few to eat each day and still have some to share with the neighbors.

The thing I've been enjoying the most is exercising and feeling my body continue to get so strong. I'm physically seeing a huge difference in my body and it's such a fun thing to see new muscles pop up! It's also mentally clearing to get out and do something that requires some good concentration.

So with that, I'll leave you a ton of pictures and a promise to write again, but maybe not soon. I'm not sure. I'm busy living, folks.

I started to say that the weather has been really wet so there are tons of caterpillars, but then I remembered it's worms that show up in an abundance in response to rain. Either way, tons of caterpillars everywhere!

Paleo brownies that a friend posted on FB. SO GOOD! Better than any brownie I've ever had. Ever. After cutting them up I individually wrapped some up to keep in the freezer so I wouldn't eat them all in a couple days. Except I did because they are even better frozen since they don't freeze hard because of the coconut oil!

I bought a 1/4 cow! It'll go to the butcher the beginning of September and I'll have fresh grass-fed beef that was raised 7 miles from my house.

Everyone deserves a pair of pink shorts.

Yellow paint can #1.

I saw Streetlight Manifesto at Hard Rock Live in Vegas. I cried from pure happiness. I've now seen 4/5 of my favorite bands!

Strawberries for days.

Rain for days.

Date ride with Vince.

Books! That aren't on the Kindle! 22 so far this year.

We both loved the hideous carpet at the hotel in Vegas. 

Sedona.

Yellow paint can #2.

'Noatmeal' made from ground almonds, coconut flour, maple syrup, and an egg.

Sunday Farmer's Market. I'm too poor to buy anything more.

Diaper butt.

Painted the old sewing cabinet from my grandma. I was worried she'd hate it, but she loved it!

After the rain.