When I first told Vince I wanted to be a nurse, he said I should just be a doctor. I laughed, saying, 'HA! Like I'm smart enough for that!' But really? I was thinking, 'Man, I wish I could be a doctor. That's what I really want.' Over the next many months after deciding I wanted to be a nurse, I thought about being a doctor a lot. I envisioned myself cramming for tests, memorizing an insane amount of things, doing my residency in a big hospital, living in a different city with my husband. All of these things sounded so exciting to me, yet so impossible. I'm not doctor material! I'm not smart enough!
But wait. I'm getting some of the best grades in my science classes and I have a 4.0. I love learning and am great at it when I apply myself. So the smarts excuse wasn't good enough. My next excuse? OH, THE MONEY.
Did I really want to be $200,000 in debt by the time I graduate?! Well, when you think about how much a doctor makes, it's not really that much money. I could pay it off relatively 'quickly'. And did I really want something like money to stand in the way of what I really wanted for my life?
Which leads me to yet another excuse: I'D BE IN SCHOOL FOR 12.5 MORE YEARS! 2.5 years to finish my bachelors + 4 years med school + 3 years oncology resident + 3 years pediatrics resident = 12.5 years (Or 9.5 years if I become an ER doctor, because I'd have just one 3-year residency.)
I have about 2.5 years until I could complete my bachelors degree in forensic chemistry. Say what? Ya, forensic chemistry. I like chemistry a whole lot more than biology and it's best if I major in a science before going to med school because of all the pre-req science classes I have to take to apply. I'm allowed to choose an emphasis, like health pre-professional or biochemistry, and while health pre-professional would make sense, all the med schools say to choose whatever bachelors you are most interested in. I figure I'll get enough health knowledge out of med school, and forensic chemistry sounds SO fun.
And my last and final excuse? What if other people think I'm stupid? I'm not going to lie, when I've been telling the few people I've talked to that I want to be a doctor, I've held my breath waiting to hear their laughter. Something great has happened though: NO ONE HAS LAUGHED. No one has really acted surprised even, just excited for me! No one has questioned whether I can do it or not and that makes me elated. I don't know why I care so much if people think I'm smart enough or not, because I know I'm smart enough. I know that if I want to be a doctor, I'll be a doctor. So now I'm putting it out to the world officially: I'm going to be a doctor and by golly, I'm so damn excited to be in school until I'm 32. (Ok, so that last part I'm still trying to wrap my head around. I mean, 32! That seems so far away.)
And the best part? I'll be like this guy, with all my tattoos!
This is great, makes me so happy for you. When I was way younger, about the only thing open was being a nurse or getting married. Did I make the wrong choice at the time! I finally ended up getting to do both! Start applying for scholarships and study, study, study!(those high grades get you better scholarships). Check out those small towns, reservations and maybe the military that pay for your tuition/student loans if you agree to work for them for a set number of years. Congratulations on setting your career goal! Way to go! Wahoo!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad there are more options today...and that I can be married AND go to school! I'm definitely starting to look into scholarships. A lot of the ones I was going to apply for were nursing specific, so now I have to start my search again! I don't think I'd want to live in a small town (at least not smaller than Flag) or a reservation, and definitely not the military! I'd rather pay for it on my own before doing that! I think some large hospitals, especially where you do your residency, will pay for some of your school if you work for them, so hopefully I'll do that. Thanks!!
DeleteYAY!!! I was very excited when you first told me! I have a few friends at home that are starting med school! If you want me to help you study for you MCAT I can! :)
ReplyDeleteWhen I get ready for the MCAT I will take all the help I can get!
DeleteBy the way . . . Why are you going to shave your head? hee, hee, hee
ReplyDeleteHaha, oh man, would I look crazy!
DeleteCongratulations! That's a huge decision but an exciting one. I was pre-med in college, took my MCATs but then decided not to go to medical school. I don't necessarily regret the decision but I do think about it a lot. That's so great that you are doing well and awesome about getting your degree in forensic chem. Totally amazing. BTW - thanks for visiting my blog and for your comment!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteI feel like sometimes you are doing what you think you want to do, but then you get to a point and realize that it's not for you. Good for you for realizing that you wanted to do something else...it must have been hard to get to that point!!
Well, I am surprised, but NOT because I don't think you can do it! I think you'll be an excellent doctor! I'm surprised because I just assumed that you really wanted to be a nurse. I have a friend who's a nurse who would never consider becoming a doctor. She specifically wanted to be a nurse. So, for some people they are completely different careers and don't really have that much to do with each other. That's so exciting that you are overcoming your excuses and getting into what you really want!
ReplyDeleteOnce I had some clinicals and saw what the nurses do and talked to them, I realized I was as happy with it before I went into it. I still think it's a great profession, just not for me!
DeleteThe way someone compared nursing and doctors to me one time was that one is like the engine in the car, and another the computer. They have to work together to be successful, but, they are two completely different thing. I really liked that analogy!
I know someone who is an oncologist and is 25 years out of med school and still paying. :( So though the money is good, you don't start out making that much. AND you have to pay for continuing ed, insurance, and everything else, so don't let possible future income be on the "pro" list. I actually am happier now that I barely make any income only because I totally love my job. :)
ReplyDeleteBut is that person a really spendy person? Almost every doctor I know REALLY likes to spend money on houses, cars, toys, etc instead of paying off loans. I'm definitely the type of person who'd rather live in a tiny one-bedroom house and pay off loans as fast as I can! And I feel like even though I'd have a lot of loan debt, I'm going to be happy, because like you, I'll love my job!
DeleteI don't know you, and I'm cheering for you. Here's why. The smartest girl in our graduating class (I'm 35, we were in a rural area) grew up to become a nurse. Now, nursing needs talented, intelligent people like her. I don't want to demean nursing by saying what I'm about to say. But. I was furious because SHE COULD HAVE BEEN A DOCTOR, but nobody ever encouraged her to do it.
ReplyDeleteYes. Be a doctor. For God's sake, be a doctor.
I'm glad you're cheering for me, it helps!! I'm amazed at how encouraging people are and it makes such a huge difference! Thanks. =D
DeleteYay on making such an awesome and huge decision! Grad school is hard but worth it when you love what you're doing. Trust me, I know this to be true. =)
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely preparing myself for it to be hard!
DeleteYay congrats Steffani! I get nervous about things like this too, but I'm working on realizing that I know me and I know what I'm capable of. Nobody else does so their judgments are just a waste of their time.
ReplyDeleteYou are so awesome and I know you'll go so far!
Sidenote, bought two packages of cupcakes and four cinnamon buns by the same brand yesterday. As soon as I realize they were the same brand as the cupcakes from Scottsdale's Nourish, which Ryan and I talk about almost daily, I knew we must have stockpiles in our home. I may go get even more this afternoon. Then I will be homeless.
And really, the people who are making judgements probably aren't going to be in my life in a few years anyways!!
DeleteSooo are the cinnamon buns good? I almost bought them but didn't! I'm super happy that there is such a variety at Fry's, I want to try the muffins too! We can be homeless together! haha
Yes, exactly!
DeleteAnd oh yes, they're amazing. I planned to only eat half of one since they're pretty dense in calories, but the whole thing was gone before I knew it. =0
I am going to beg my Fry's to start carrying them!!
Ya, I couldn't kid myself into eating 1/2 of one...it was hard just stopping at one!
DeleteDo it and rock it!!! If I didn't have 3 kids I would become a doctor. I'm going nursing then after a few years maybe PA. I'm so exited for you!!!
ReplyDeleteI think your plan is a great idea! I couldn't imagine having three kids and going to med school. I think going to nursing school is hard enough! Good luck =)
DeleteSuch exciting news!
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Thanks!
DeleteHey Steff, I totally remember who you are. I am Blair and Cindy's daughter. So I think that makes us 1st cousins once removed...or something like that. :) Congrats on med school. My husband is in this 4th year of med school at Baylor, TX. We find out next week where we are headed for residency! It has FLOWN by so fast. Good luck to you and if you every have any questions for my husband (Doug) he loves to talk and is super nice.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't sure if you'd remember, I think the last time you saw me I was like 10!
DeleteThat's great to know that he's almost done! I'll definitely let him know about any questions; it's good to know my family has gone through something I'll go through!
How exciting! definitely do what makes you happiest, follow your heart!! Being in a field you love will make you SO much more happy!
ReplyDelete