Hello from the other side.

Mic check, one two, one two...anyone out there? Can you hear me?

Well. This is embarrassing. It's been quite the journey since I last updated the bloggity blog, so here's a little one. Sorry for the picture reposts from Instagram, I'll try to be a little more original next time. Maybe I'll start posting more often since I actually have a life now that doesn't revolve around school.

As an update from my last post, I got a nursing job! As I suspected, it wasn't in the ICU as I desired, but on a medical-surgical floor. Honestly, it has been great and has far exceeded my expectations. I've already been able to shock a patient, push some scary cardiac drugs, and grow leaps and bounds as a nurse in a very short time. I have SO much to learn, but my experience has been wonderful so far. Also, I'm realizing that the part of this job I thought I was going to hate the most - small talk with families and patients - is actually one of my favorite parts. Some days it's hard being an introvert, but it's so nice to help their day be a little better and there are many ways to educate and share my knowledge, which is the best. I'm a teacher at heart, so it's perfect!

I still have two weeks of my new grad nurse residency program before I'm on my own as a nurse (!!! a real! live! nurse!), and will be switching to nights this weekend. I had two weeks of general orientation to the hospital, then a grueling, oh so grueling, five week class that was harder than all of nursing school combined as well as one 12 hour shift each week on my unit. It was a lot of education over a short amount of time and I was not expecting the class to be that hard or for there to be so much homework involved, so I'm glad it's done. I learned a lot and I'm so grateful to have done it, but holy shit. I am done done done with school for now. Then I had a month or so of working days with a preceptor, which I finished this week. Then end is near!

During that hard five week stretch, Devin got almost all her teeth and I started hating her jusssssst a little. She got six or seven (?) teeth during that time and she was just a beast throughout. She missed me, I missed her, she just wanted to nurse 24/7, and I'm a mean mom who wouldn't give her medicine even though everyone told me to constantly. But! We survived! And she just has a few teeth left to go. I am very glad that I'm still nursing her because I have no idea how we would have survived without it. What do other moms do?!

Another harrowing situation we just survived was hand, foot and mouth disease! I thought she had gotten a yeast rash or something, but then it moved from her thighs to all over and she didn't even have a rash in the diaper area. There were two nights that were easily the worst nights she's/we've ever had and I ended up having to sleep in her room so that Vince could have her in our room because I had to work the next morning. I woke up often to her screaming, because she didn't sleep either night. But again, we survived! Some of the blisters are peeling off still and her feet are gross, but she's back to being a happy clam and up to her old wildchild antics like climbing on tables and sneaking into the chicken coop.

Vince has been working one day a week and staying home with Devin, which I think has made all of this transition better. He's still trying to figure out what he wants to do when he "grows up", but for now we're all in a good place. I'm finally done with homework and all the extra stuff that goes along with learning, and we're all so ready to just relax and enjoy life. We've been able to do a lot of little activities we've always wanted to do like taking picnics, going to the park, going swimming, etc. Somehow all those things went to the wayside and we were only able to focus on surviving so it's nice to actually live now. I've worked so hard for the last five years to get to this point and I'm relieved to finally say, "I'm a nurse!"

7QT

1) I find out this week if I got a job at the hospital! I feel like I'll at least get a job, but maybe not the unit I want. Honestly, I will be happy with anything because both have their pros and cons. I know starting med-surg will be incredibly helpful and will have a greater chance of working days, so it's really not a big deal if I don't start out ICU. Either way, I just want to know if I have a darn job.

2) Devin is teething and growing two inches every night, or so it seems, and because of that she is just wanting to be held and snuggled all day and all night.

When I put her to sleep she has to have her arm around me, even if it makes her uncomfortable. So sweet! But it also means that when I try to sneak out, she wakes up. After nursing her and snuggling with her a bit I've been having Vince come in and lay with her until she falls asleep after a few minutes, and it's worked well.

Which brings me to...

3) We're transitioning Devin to her own room! I'd be happy if she slept in our bed util she was 40, but it seems as if she wants to be alone. She'll sleep solidly until we come to bed, then she'll wake up every hour still wanting to nurse. Then we're all tired the next day. We've had her in her own room for this week, and so far it's gone well. Last night I slept with her for half the night because she had a rough day and just needed extra time with me, but other than that she's been fine alone and has woken up 2-3 times. Not bad, compared to before! So we'll see how it goes. If it doesn't work out, that's fine and I'll know it's not time, but for now lovvvvves the (coral, not pink!) room.

4) Devin is doing pretty good at her solo table. I do have to sit with her for each meal so she doesn't just wander off, but she really likes eating there. It's so fun to see what a big kid she is, getting on and off the chair, pushing herself back, etc. Mostly she wants to eat any and all meals outside, though.

5) Two of my close friends just had babies, and they are both SO beautiful and lovely. I can't wait to snuggle them! We're hoping to try for another kiddo at the end of the year, but until then, they'll be good substitutes.

6) Vince and I have switched over to shampoo bars and my goodness, they are amazing! So so amazing! I bought the three pack from Aquarian Bath on Etsy and got different ones (dry hair for Vince, greasy hair for me) and we both really like them. I did the recommended ACV rinse and I think it helped. My hair is so soft and bouncy, even Vince noticed it. The bars are also nice because they are really foamy/soapy feeling, which I didn't realize I missed with the organic shampoo I use that doesn't work well with my hair. Overall, great purchase.

7) Oh, and I graduated! No big deal. We had a BBQ at our house after and it was a nice way to celebrate and end the previous 5 years! Devin made sure to round up the hard cider cans the next day.

 

6th Annual Flats and Handwashing Challenge

I hand washed my cloth diapers for the first 6 months because I didn't have a washer/dryer so you would think I've had enough hand washing experience for a lifetime, but apparently I haven't! So I am taking the flats and hand washing challenge again this year. That means I'll be using only flats, and hand washing all my diapers. Ok, so maybe the title is pretty self explanatory.

Cloth diapering is SO important to me, mostly because I get to avoid the crap in disposables, but also because it's economical and better for the environment. There is always the question of whether the water to wash them does more environmental damage, but have you ever looked into what it takes to make a sposie, then transport it, then travel to the store to buy it, then have it sit in a landfill forever? Clearly, I think there is a winner.

Another reason for doing this is knowing I can truly do what I want to do. I felt crazy when I first decided to cloth diapers, in full-time nursing school, while working, without a washer and dryer. Why would anyone choose to do that?! For me it was really important to sacrifice my time and energy now if it meant exposing Devin to less chemicals. It was the start to many sacrifices I'll make for her, and honestly one of the easiest things now.

Lastly, it's nice to know that in an emergency, I have the skills to do what I need to do! I know I won't need to go to the store in a snowstorm, I can hole up in our house if the world is going to shit, and I can have a clean baby even if we lose our jobs.

Tomorrow I will break down the cost of my diapers and explain why I decided to add the extra challenge of keeping my stash at $150!

Starting our seedlings.

I learned so much from my gram growing up, like how to whip together a fast and filling meal, how to can in-season food, and how to do a job right the first time. Unfortunately (and fortunately) with gardening, it's a learning experience that is impossible to do right the first time! So in a way it is freeing to just try things out and see how it ends up.

We are starting our seeds way late this year, but hopefully it'll work out anyways. Last year the growing season went way longer than usual (thanks global warming!) so maybe that will happen again this year?

I was hoping to incorporate Devin into helping me, but as expected, her almost 15 month old brain was way more interested in eating dirt and crushing egg shells! So I let her do that while I planted everything.

I couldn't find some of my supplies so I'll be doing more starters in a few days, but we have about 60 for now. We have a really large garden area and I'm not expecting all the starters to survive so I'm doing a lot! Always the pessimist.

As part of my "learning experience", I'm trying some seeds in eggshells and cartons this year. They can be put directly into the soil when it's time to plant so the roots aren't disrupted. I was supposed to poke a hole in the bottom and forgot though, so we'll see how it ends up. I'll be doing another couple dozen in eggs, so hopefully I remember to do those right.

So far the starts are acorn squash, mini cantaloupe, sage, leeks, basil, hot peppers, and celery. I totally forgot about the cherry tomatoes, so I think I'll just buy the starters from the local nursery because there definitely won't be enough time. I can also just plant those now with some walls-o-water. I decided to be smart and kept a record of the planting order that I can now make into labels!

The rest I plan on planting directly into the ground soon include carrots, radishes, potatoes, zucchini, yellow squash, gold + green beans, kale, cilantro, cucumber, dill, and rosemary. I really want to can and dehydrate a bunch of stuff at the end of the season and dry a lot of herbs to use through winter because they are so easy to grow.

So that's it! Are you growing anything this summer?

Today I am...

A blog? What's that?

Ok, but really. My track record for posting this year has been terrible. And the hardest part about getting back into blogging is feeling like I have to do an update on everything, which is just too much effort for me. So instead I'm going to act like I've been blogging three days a week for years and you know all the important details. I figure if I just start again, all the important things will come out eventually!

To ease into, I'm stealing a fill in the blank from Sara via Grace and showing you a picture of my 14 month old daughter who is not longer a baby but a walking talking human being.

Today I am…

Celebrating my first week of my new 24 hour a week position! It's still the same job I've had for almost three years now, but I'm actually budgeted hours instead of relief. I'll only be doing it for a couple months in the hopes of starting a nursing job in July, but it's awesome because Vince will have insurance and he gets to work less to stay home with Devin.

Reading Yes Please. And my gosh, it's so great! I just finished The Martian, which was just absolutely fantastic, and then read Binge after that, and it was also good. I've been on a reading kick am loving it.

Wishing I knew if I had a nursing job. The applying/hiring process can be soooooo long and drawn out!

Feeling like I'm never going back to school ever, ever. I have always said I'd get a Masters and now I'm like "If I have to do one more discussion post or format a reference in APA ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I'M GOING TO KILL SOMEONE." I'm sure that will change, but for now I'm so over it.

Wanderlusting over owning our own house with our own garden and our own farm animals. (Vince is content with chickens and only chickens, but we'll see.)

Eating an apple and raw milk.

Watching Nurse Jackie and Parenthood. Well I just finished Nurse Jackie and both Vince and I are like WHAT?! That's it?! And we just hate Jackie. But I love love love LOVE Zoe so much and wish she had a spinoff. I had started Parenthood and only got a few episodes in but have started it again at the recommendation of a friend and I just love it.

Anticipating dare I mention school one more time? You guysssss, I just can't wait to have free time and not worry about the homework I have to do.

Deciding nothing. I am not at a point in my life where I should be making decisions.

Sewing (Sara, look away, look away!) little baby carriers for Sara's kiddos....for Christmas. Oh my gosh I am the worst friend ever. I have had one done since before Christmas, and the other halfway done. Awful, I tell you, awful! But they are going to look so darn cute wearing their baby dolls/stuffed animals.

7QT

I should just never say I'm going to post something soon, because I inevitably will jinx myself and that won't happen. Too much has happened over the past many months to catch up on, so I'll do a 7 Quick Takes post a la this blog and move on. I post daily on the 'gram, so head over there if you really want to keep up to date with me! (Or my baby, I know that's why you're all here.)

1) Devin is no longer a baby. She is a crawling, standing, clapping, eating, vocalizing little chunk of joy that is so insanely opinionated already, at almost 9 months old. That comes from the Powell side of my family, so it's a good thing her middle name is Powell.

2) I am in my second to last semester of school, and senioritis is reallllll. So. So. Real. This also happens to be the busiest semester of the program, so if you combine that with having a baby, being the Student Nurses' Association president, and moving, things are cray cray.

3) Speaking of moving, WE HAVE MOVED. Into a house 5 times the size of our itty bitty apartment.  To say we are happy about it is an understatement! Devin has room to move, she has toys to play with now, Roxi has a yard, I have space to exercise in, and we have a giant garden. The house has already been more upkeep than I'm used to, but it's been good and we are less stressed. Oh, and the most exciting thing I almost forgot to mention - we have a washing machine and dryer! No more hand washing cloth diapers. I have no idea how I did it for so long.

(Don't worry, we have a gate up to block of the fireplace now!)
4) Related to the house - my grandparent's have gone on a mission to Mexico City for 18 months, and we are renting it from them. So while I am so excited about the house, it is also very bittersweet because we already miss them. They watched Devin on Monday's while I was in class, and she so loved being here with them! It will be sad that they'll miss so many fun times, but 18 months will go by pretty quickly and we have Skype.

5) I really feel like nothing else interesting is going on. Hmm. I took some fall pictures of Devin, and she is just the cutest ever.

6) I am still not able to eat dairy or eggs (and gluten, which neither of us can have) because of Devin's reaction through my breastmilk, but I've been able to add in almost everything else that I love! I have to restrict the amount of tomatoes, but overall she is handling things well. She likes to eat everything in the world as well. Update: I have been able to add small amounts of dairy back in! Hello, chai tea.

7) Reallllly struggling to think of a number 7. I have really been enjoying eating Justin's Chocolate Hazelnut Butter, I just got these leggings from Old Navy (in size tall!) and they are awesome, I won these pants and these pants in a Prana giveaway and love them (also in size tall!), wool diaper covers have been our new favorites, and this ketchup recipe made with our garden tomatoes was delicious!

Pumping for school or work soon after birth.

Due to having Devin mid semester, I was only able to take two weeks off of school before I had to go back. Some people say it's terrible timing, but it actually wasn't as bad as I expected. She slept a lot (though she did nurse every hour around the clock for the first few months!) and I was able to nap with her, I was out of the house for 24 hours of the week so it wasn't full-time, I could come home at times during lunch to nurse her, and I was also able to have the entire summer off during her extremely fun months! 

 

One thing that did cause me stress in the beginning was pumping. It wasn't that pumping was hard or difficult, I was just so worried about nipple confusion or her not wanting to nurse, thus ending our breastfeeding relationship. Aside from her being placed on my chest immediately after birth, breastfeeding was the thing I was most looking forward to and I didn't want to mess with it! Luckily, I had nothing to worry about as we had no problem and she still loves to nurse constantly, and will hopefully continue into toddlerhood.

 

When I was scouring the internet for advice on pumping really early, I found nothing. 'Early' to most people meant going back to work at 6 or 8 weeks. The advice would be to start pumping 4 weeks before going back to work, and to start bottle feeding two weeks before going back to get the baby used to a bottle. That would have meant I should have started pumping two week before I delivered, and started bottle feeding the day she was born! Obviously, that would be impossible and not ideal. 

 

So here is a rough outline of what I did, in case you are one of the lucky few who has to go to school/work after a very short period of time and you want to continue breastfeeding.

 

Nurse on demand. Devin, like most babies, nursed for nutrition as well as comfort. For the first two weeks, we basically sat on a recliner with her attached to my boob about 90% of the day. She would nurse, and then taper off to little suckles while she slept. This signaled to my body to make more milk, and helped increase my supply. While at the hospital she would nurse for hours straight and all through the night, and even though it was really uncomfortable at times in the beginning, I just let her do her thing. 

 

Do NOT use a pacifier. As I said, Devin liked to comfort nurse. Many moms choose to put a pacifier in for this, but I was adamant about no paci. One) it took away her ability to tell my body to make more milk, and two) it would likely mean that I would set her down to do something else, decreasing our physical contact, and decreasing my milk supply. We started her on a paci around 6 weeks because the comfort nursing was making her acid reflux worse by never allowing her food to digest, but we made sure breastfeeding was well established, I had a pumping routine in place, and I had a solid amount of milk.

 

Start pumping once your milk is in. My milk came in very quickly - while I was still in the hospital - and continued to increase in amount. Around day 7, once my milk was 'completely' in (it would continue to increase over the next many weeks, but it was changing from colostrum to regular milk), I started pumping a few times a day after Devin finished nursing. I was nervous at first, thinking I was 'stealing' the milk from her next feed, but really it just helped increase my milk supply after a couple days. I would get about a half ounce to start with, and it quickly increased to 1-2 ounces per pumping. I was trying to stock up enough milk for at least the first two days of school, in case I didn't end up pumping enough while I was away for a total of 16 hours. I was following the 'baby eats one ounce per hour' rule, so 16 ounces was my goal. I froze the milk in 1 ounce portions, since I assumed she would stick with her eating every hour routine even though I wasn't there. 

 

Introduce a bottle. Three days before I was supposed to go to school, I had Vince try to give her a bottle. I heard good things about breastfeeding mothers using the Dr. Brown's bottles with a preemie sized nipple, so the baby still had to work hard to get the milk out. She kept refusing it with Vince and he was stressed out about it (he also got little amounts of sleep that first week!) so I ended up trying to feed her. I was still so distraught about how it could effect our breastfeeding relationship, so once she got a hang of the bottle and started eating, I cried! And then sobbed! It was awful to be the one feeding her from a bottle. Vince realized how upset I was and took over from there. I had him feed her one time for those three days while I pumped so they could both get used to it, and then I would nurse her immediately after as well so she wouldn't 'forget' how to nurse. I could definitely feel a difference in her latch, but after a minute or so she would correct herself and remember.  

 

Relax. When I went back to school, I was able to pump more than enough for her. I was lucky enough to have Vince or my grandparents be home with Devin, so I was confident she was in good hands getting the love and attention she needed. Had I been stressed out about her situation, I'm sure it would have had an impact on my milk supply. She didn't have any issues with nipple confusion, and she would nurse even more when I was home because she missed the physical contact. We bed-share, which I think also has a huge part in our success because she had full access to my boobs, and I could get enough rest while still feeding her constantly. Every situation is different, though, so you'll have to see what works for you!

 

My next post will be pumping tips, so be sure to look for that.  

Christmas in July.

A friend let me go through some of her old baby clothes, and these Christmas pajamas were in the bin complete with Santa Claus feet. They were for 9-12 months, so I kept them since Devin will be about 10 months at Christmas. Turns out she fits in the now at 5 months, so Christmas in July it is!

4th of July Weekend!

This weekend was the best. No doubt about it!

In between getting in a good amount of hours at work, I spent a ton of time with family, some of which were in from out of town. After driving home from my grandparents Friday night with the fresh smell of a campfire on us, Vince said, "Hey, I had a lot of fun!" And I responded with, "Did I really just hear you say that after 7 hours spent with my family?" And he said, "SEVEN HOURS?!" Time flies by when you have good company. (This is not to imply my family is not fun, they totally are the best.)

My grandma felt compelled to give Devin a bath after I admitted I don't bathe her very often.

Saturday morning we went shooting where I killed it, seriously. I couldn't believe it. We did a competition where we had to hit 10 pieces of 4 inch 2x4s that were set up in a line, and you had two shots per wood. For a better time you had to kind of run between shots (the wood was far enough away to not stand in one spot) and I got the exact same time as my grandpa, and he got one more shot than me. Now I need to practice and beat him! I think this is beginners luck though since I haven't shot since I was like 12. 

Her squished cheeks were too cute, I couldn't stop laughing. 

After that, my dad, uncle, Vince and I went for a mountain bike ride while Devin napped with the rest of the fambam. Riding with friends is fun, but family is even better! 

Vince is getting ready for the Bike Olympics this evening, Devin is sleeping naked with the fan directed on her because it's been so hot, and I'm ready for a nap myself with Roxi! It's weird to be in a quiet house after being around family and noises for hours.

Annnnnd then she was over it. 

Added after I wrote the above: We ended up going to the Bike Olympics for a bit and hung out with one of our favorite ladies! 

Surviving the first few weeks postpartum.

I typed this up when I was a few weeks postpartum, and forgot to post it! So here it is. This applies to the first couple months after I had Devin.


Hospital cup

My friend told me to take it home and I hesitantly did, but it's THE BEST. Drinking from a straw and not having to open the lid of a waterbottle or tilt the water from a glass is so much easier with a baby in your arms.

Side table 

I would move it around as needed! By the couch, the recliner, my bed, etc. Again, when you have a baby attached to your boob, it's hard to move around.

Swaddle blankets

I like the thicker small typical receiving ones when wrapping her during the day with her arms out, but love love love the aden + anais ones for doing a tight full body wrap at night. They really are worth their weight in gold, like everyone says. (Even though they cost quite a bit in gold...)

Finger snacks 

Hardboiled eggs, nuts, dried fruit. It's really hard to cut a steak.

Coconut oil

I used lanolin approximately one time and didn't like that it had a smell, because I want her to associate the smell of my breasts with me and not lanolin. So I used refined (not smelly) coconut oil for my sore nipples and they felt better almost immediately. Within a week of starting nursing my boobs felt normal again and didn't crack. The old trick of rubbing breast milk also works great and that's all I need now, 3 weeks into breastfeeding!

Peri bottle

My sink happens to be right next to my toilet so I could easily fill the peri bottle I got from the hospital with fresh warm water to rinse with after I went to the bathroom. It's also nice to add a bit of witch hazel or lavender oil to help with healing.

Cloth pads with athletic shorts

I had a nice stockpile of regular pads from the hospital and from a friend, but after being home for two days I realized they are so uncomfortable and I always felt wet, which was gross. Isn't the point of a pad to wick away moisture?! Anyways, I was doing a lot of sitting while nursing and everything felt sore and the wetness didn't help. I kept thinking I just really wanted to wear underwear because it would feel good against my skin, and remembered cloth pads that I usually use for my period. Within hours of switching to a cloth pad my 'area' felt SO much better, drier, and less painful. So seriously, invest in them. I just rinse them in the sink after I use them and hang it on my drying rack, then when I have 4 or 5 dirty ones I soak them in the sink with a bit of oxyclean and Castile soap for a few hours. Then I just rinse them and hang them up and they look brand new again! I have about 10 that I cycle through. (I was usually about 5/day until 7 days postpartum, and at 2 1/2 weeks I used about 2 a day.) they also don't have the gross smell of disposable pads. Wearing tight shorts over my underwear made me feel more comfortable, like a pad wasn't about to fall out or something (even though my pads have a button to stay on) or leak somehow.

Netflix

Need I say more? 

Boppy

Again, need I say more? I have a long torso so I still have to squeeze a blanket between her and the boppy but it's still nice to have.

Pampers/Huggies

We have a multitude of brands, most of them different eco friendly ones, but found Pampers is the best for newborn! Ha! The others just fit her weirdly, were really bulky, or didn't hold up well. She's in size 1 now and we prefer Huggies. The ones in the basket in a picture below are Honest Co and they are the only eco one that I sort of like, but they don't fit her as well. (And then we switched her to cloth diapers at 2 1/2 months.)

Solly Wrap

(The day I got it when she was a few weeks old, all tired and haggard.)

I could go on and on and on about how much I love this wrap. It is so easy to put on, light-weight unlike the Moby, and more importantly - Devin loves it. Worth waaaay more than its weight in gold.

Robe

It has been a comfort saver for sure! Throughout the last 3 months of my pregnancy I was looking for a soft, lightweight robe and never found one, until a few days before I gave birth. It's 3/4 sleeves and hits just below my waist, so I wear sweats with it. It is similar to this one on the Target website, but they don't have the one I bought anymore (the linked one is much longer, but the same light material). I wore it as a shirt in the hospital so I could easily breastfeed but look 'put together' when people visited, and pretty much wear it as a shirt when I'm home because it's so much easier to breastfeed in.

Diaper basket

We don't have a changing table set up (like I'm really going to use the space or get up and walk somewhere every time I need to change her!) so I have a small basket that I keep full of diapers, wipes and a burp cloth I use as a changing pad. I have about a dozen burp cloths and just get a new one as needed. Then I can move it to whatever room I'm in, and keep it on my bed at night since we cosleep with her. I also keep a little ziploc bag with DigestZen essential oil for her belly, grape seed oil to dilute it and for massage, and a little jar of coconut oil for diaper redness and her fat rolls on the neck or else they get red and smelly. (Babies can be gross.) I also have a little jar of diaper rash salve.

Salt lamp

This thingis perfect for the night! It has a dimmer that I keep on the lowest setting so I have a soft light for feedings and changing her during the night. It's dark enough to sleep with, but bright enough to see when I wake up.

Sound machine

I started using a sound machine many months ago per Grace's recommendation and it really helps because I can fall asleep almost immediately. (You'd think I'd be tired enough, but I have a wandering mind.) This will ultimately help Devin as well. I've noticed that as soon as I turn it on to get her ready for a nap her eyes start to get droopy.