Monday, August 1, 2011

Training My Fiance

Dishes. I HATE them. As I’ve stated before, I would rather clean floors, do laundry, and scrub toilets instead of doing them.

Well, Vince feels the same way. Well, kind of. He doesn’t like to do anything mentioned above, including dishes. Needless to say, if I hope to keep my sanity he will have to do his share of housecleaning.

So I decided to have him start doing more dishes. Given that he usually puts everything away wrong around the house, gets toilet water around the bathroom, and shrinks all of my clothes if I let him do the laundry, I knew that was the best decision. I mean, what could go wrong?

Well, let’s see.

1) He takes FOREVER. Last week I asked him to do some dishes, maybe 10 dishes total that were already rinsed, and it took him ALMOST AN HOUR. I shit you not.

Over the weekend I told him his only job was to do the dishes. The rest of our house was trashed and I was fine taking care of it, he just had to do the dishes. There were quite a bit, but most of them were rinsed already and if I did them it would take 20 minutes tops.

Around 6 o’clock I left to pick up his wedding ring and he had already been working on them for about a ½ hour. On the way home I stopped at the store for some stuff for dinner, which put me home around 7. Was he done with the dishes when I got there? Nope. He was almost halfway done. I laughed and said, ‘Dude, this is your only job, and no matter how long you draaaaag it out, you are doing all of them. And if you keep putting it off there will just be more dinner dishes piled on top of your stack.’

It seriously amazes me how long he can drag something out! 

2) He doesn’t know where anything goes. We lived in this house for a year and a half before, and everything was pretty much put in the same place when we moved back last month. I wondered how he couldn’t remember where anything was before, until I realized that he never knew where anything was IN THE FIRST PLACE. Seriously, he knew where cups, plates, bowls and silverware went, and that was it. The potato peeler? No idea. The mixing bowls? Clueless.

When I got home from the store he handed me some Tupperware lids and asked if I could put them away for him. I leaned around him and put them in the cupboard he was standing directly in front of, and he said ‘Oh. Hmm. I guess i could have done that.’ And I walked away before I kicked him in the shins.

3)  I’m pretty sure he breaks stuff and throws it away before I see. When we were packing stuff at the old house, I noticed there were quite a few of my glass dishes gone. I always thought they were just hidden in some cupboard, but I couldn’t find them anywhere! When I asked him about it he said, ‘Huh? What? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m taking the dog on a walk,’ and would skedaddle away quickly.

So anything your partner sucks at?


  1. LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!! I can totally relate.....Ty is EXACTLY the same, and it has basically come down to me not even letting him do anything because I'm so scared of how it will be done. lol!!!! Did I tell you about the time I actually FREAKED out and had a mental breakdown (including crying and banging my head against the fridge) because he put the dishes away wet? LOL!!!! Half-ass cleaning drives me crazy. I'd rather it be messy.

    I love how mean/funny you are when you talk about Vince hahahahhahahaha

  2. Aw Steffani lol. I feel your pain but I have to laugh any ways. Laughing at you makes me feel like I don't have it so bad. =P

    It's the worst, having men around. We all just want a little more help and all they want to do is quickly put it anywhere they think it'll work so they can get back to watching TV with their hands in their pants. 

  3. Vince never does the dishes at my mom's house either...

  4. Ha, I'm waiting for the moment when i have my mental breakdown!

  5. u guys r both horrible at dishes

  6. Haha, I love this! I saw that you posted a response to it, so I'll go read that next but as for this post...

    I SWEAR, the difference is Boy Brain versus Girl Brain. I'm sure this is all society, blah blah, but girls grow up KNOWING they need to keep things clean, and guys grow up thinking they only have to do that if nagged.

    Shaun is really, really great about helping around the house. Anytime I ask him to do stuff, he does it happily and without complaint -- dishes, taking the trash out, vacuuming, cleaning out the fridge, etc.

    BUT...I have to ask. Ha. That is the difference right there. If I see clothes on the floor, a full sink of dishes. I KNOW I have to do them. But boys are just like, ....ANYWAY.

    And I hear you about the taking forever/timing -- half the reason I do so much of the housework is because I am OCD (seriously, not just saying that!) and I NEED things done to enjoy just sitting around reading or writing or watching TV -- so, I feel like it's unfair to push my OCD Crazy on him, it's not his fault. So I end up doing a lot of it because it BOTHERS me, but in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. Ha.

  7. Ya, I agree, it's definitely our brains that are different!

    And I also agree about the OCD thing. I like things cleaned a certain way and when he doesn't do it my way, I freak out. Luckily with most things I only freak out in my head though and just re-do it myself without making him fell bad.