Friday, August 26, 2011

S.T.R.E.S.S.E.D. For real.

Whew. I haven't been around the blogosphere much lately, but I have some good excuses. Well one, mainly: STRESS.

It's been a healthy stress though. It's not one that's keeping me up at night, or one that makes me eat tub after tub of ice cream. It's a good one that makes me realize that life is upon me. It feels like up until this point I was I wasn't doing anything spectacular with my life, nothing life changing. I was getting scared that I'd be like this forever.

I got my GED when I was 16 and moved out when I was 17. I started taking classes at the community college and I was working full time between two jobs, so compared to my 'peers' who were still in school, I was kind of living the life! I got to pick my schedule, didn't have parents to control me, and I had somewhat disposable income. I was way ahead of them with college classes, so if I wanted, I could have graduated college early.

BUT. That didn't happen. I realized that rent and groceries and gas money cost a whole lot. I realized that it's a whole lot harder to work and go to school at the same time, and I wasn't ready for that. So, because we live in a money-central world, I chose to work instead of go to school. I still felt cool that I had a full time job with the city with full benefits and was making WAY more than my friends did when I was 18, but that coolness is starting to wear off.

Some of them are going to graduate next year, and where does that leave me? At least two years behind them in school. But hey, at least I have my high paying job!

But now I realize that I want to go to school and work. It's worth the sacrifice to me. Ya, I may not have a social life, but I don't care much about that. I'll still make time a few hours here and there throughout the week with friends, but I'm not the type to go hangout and party for hours anyways.

On Monday I am starting school. I haven't talked about school since this post, but things DID fall into place! I am taking my Certified Nursing Assistant class at the time I wanted, and then I'm taking AHS 131, a medical terminology class, online. So total, I am taking 9 credits, in addition to working 40 hours a week and watching my neice for 8 hours every Friday while my sister is in school. That accounts for 57 hours of my week, NOT including homework time. That's a lot, and I'm kind of nervous about it. I'm still in the midst of planning a wedding, and then in the middle of all this I'm going to HAVE a wedding!

I've realized that I have to come up with some kind of schedule for how my days are going to be. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to clean my house, do the laundry (at the dreaded laundry mat) cook dinner, and enjoy time with my fiance. Luckily Vince is going to do his own laundry now! A lot of the time we do it together, but he always has twice, if not THREE times as much laundry because his clothes are bigger and he has his riding gear for bikes.

The most important thing out of the list is my fiance, but after that it's food. I don't care if I have to wear the same shirt twice or if I have to wash a dish in order to eat some cereal. I just need to have healthy food that will sustain me throughout the day. If I don't have that, all bets are off and I will lose my shit.

So I'm going to start planning my meals again and have somewhat scheduled internet time, exercising time, friend time, etc. Once I figure out what I'm going to do over the next few days, I'll share it with you. I know I like any kind of scheduling tips, so I figure I'll share mine! Let me know if you have any good ones, too!


  1. Yay, hadn't "seen" you in a while but glad it's for good reasons! I'm so glad the school thing worked out for you! I have to schedule out every aspect of my day or I get anxiety attacks, which is pretty incredibly ridiculous and embarrassing, but one thing I've learned is that you have to schedule loosely... otherwise I'd plot out every detail and then have to take an important call or my dad would pop into town for lunch or Ryan would get off work early and want to go out for dinner and then I'd seriously start sobbing because I was so thrown off. Obviously you don't have the issues I do, but I think for most people it's almost more stressful if you create a schedule to be stress-free and then the schedule changes. 
    Good luck! =]

  2. I try to make the most important thing which is Zach the top of my list the most time. He works graveyards and so my time with him is very limited. I balance my evenings alone for homework, exercising (when my back gets better) and meal preparing. I know that you are working full time, but if I had spare time I would jot down meals for the next week and a grocery list. Go to the store after or before work (then its done and you can relax at home). The medical terminology class is tough, but if you need help I am here! The CNA class is really hands on, lots of competition and pressure, BUT YOU CAN DO IT! My best friend did it, so you can too. :) But yes, work and school were my body paragraphs, my man the intro and topic and house work was the conclusion. I used to pick 1-2 days a week to do laundry at the mat, and I read my homework while I was there. So there's a few good tid bits.. I worked full time, took 15 credit hours and had my own place.. TRUST ME, it sounds scary but once you get in a swing of things you will make it happen. 

  3. you sure have a lot on your plate right now! good luck with your classes :)

  4. Ya, I'm excited about classes and am SO happy that it's working out! Today I totally almost has an anxiety attack and I just started bawling instead, which is fine with me. =P 

    And that's a good idea about scheduling loosely. I feel like if I didn't follow my schedule I would feel like a failure at the end of the day, which is NOT what I'm going for. 


  5. My most important thing I think is myself! haha if I'm not happy, Vince definitely won't be. =P

    Have you taken the classes or was it just your friend? I get mixed reviews from everyone with some saying it was super hard and others saying it was super easy! It's crazy. Hopefully it won't be too bad, but either way I'm sure I can handle it.

    And geeze, that sounds like you had a lot going on! That's insane, but like you said, I'll hopefully get in the swing on things. =]

  6. I know, it's crazy! And thank you!!

  7. I think its great you're going to school. That 2 years your friends have on you? In 5 years time, it will seem like nothing.
    I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about how busy you'll be: no amount of worrying will make it better. You just have to get on with it, and be honest with yourself if things are starting to fall in a heap. It sounds like you're going to have a big load, but you're young and if you are determined, I'm sure you can do it. And if you need help, ask for it. Good luck! x

  8. I'm wicked proud to be your virtual friend.  What an amazing decision you have made for yourself and your family.  You are awesome and your going to rock this....I just know it.  Hearts, Janna Lynn

  9. It will be worth it when your schooling is done.  Hopefully you'll make more, and hopefully your work will be more fulfilling.

  10. That's true Karen, I bet I won't even KNOW most of them in 5 years!! Thanks for your confidence in me. =D

  11. And I'm wicked proud to be yours! it's always nice to read your positive posts when I seem to be having a midlife crisis =P

  12. Ya, I can't wait until I'm done, even though it seems far off right now!

  13. You are gonna be busy, busy! Good for you for working and school together. My advice is YES, make sure you make time for you and Vince, make sure you make time for relaxing alone Stef time! You can handle it...but only if you remember you're human and need rest and food too!

  14. I hope I remember everyone's advice when I'm about to have a breakdown! haha good thing I'll have this to come back to...but I guess if I LISTEN to everyone's advice, I won't have a breakdown!!

    Thanks Emmy =D