Sunday, January 2, 2011

I'm sorry.

Yesterday I was a mean person. I just kept pushing and nit-picking at Vince and I don't know why. We went to Home Depot to get some wood for my craft table we are building and I just kept saying mean things to him. We went to Bookman's, and again, I just kept saying mean things to him.

When he looks me in the eye and asks why I'm being so mean, my heart just breaks and I want to cry. There are times when I just get so grumpy and awful and don't understand why. Not eating sugar has helped incredibly, I'm almost the complete opposite of how I used to be mood wise, but there are still times when I'm just awful. Awful, awful, awful.

I know Vince knows I love him, but that doesn't undo the hurt that I cause him. I know that there are times in every relationship where you hurt each other, but I hate not knowing the reason why I say mean things. I hope that when I look him in his eyes and hug him and apologize that he really believes it.

Being in a relationship is hard. It's a lot of hard work and it's something I work on every day. I know that every heartache is absolutely worth it though. I truly could not think of being with any other person in the world. Vince completes me in every way possible, even ways I didn't think were possible. He keeps me grounded and puts up with my craziness and my mood swings and my weird quirks and my cold feet warming up on his legs at night.

And for that, I love him.

{Even though I want to kick him right now because he just farted ON MY LEG and told me to get a bowl for him because he 'needs to pee'.}

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