Bike Porn.

Disclaimer: This post will talk about sex {but not my own{and more specifically porn}}. I don't want to disrespect anyone, so if you don't want to read about sex, just stop reading. =]

Last year around this time, Vince and I went to see a screening of a movie called Bike Porn. It was traveling around the US (and Canada?) and Vince heard about it at the bike shop. He brought home a flyer that looked like this, just different dates:

I don't know why the naked people touching themselves on bikes didn't give away the fact that it was probably real porn, but I didn't believe that it was actually porn. When Vince disagreed and said that he thought it was really porn, I replied, "There is no way it would be that. How awkward would it be to watch porn with a bunch of people? I bet it's just a bunch of super sweet places to ride that would be like 'porn' to bike riders." Um. Well. Needless to say, I was wrong.

It was traight up porn. Gay porn, straight porn, bicycle porn {as in, human/bicycle interaction} and a bunch of other stuff I had never seen or thought of before. Don't get me wrong, I didn't hate it. It was extremely interesting and entertaining and I legitimately had a good time.

Vince and I got there about a half hour early, but the smallish room was already packed, leaving us no other option but to sit in the very front row. Now, this was at a photography studio, so when I say we were in the front row, we were about 5 feet away from the large screen. And the first shot had a giant cock.

In a sense I was shocked, because I truly did not believe that it was real porn. But it was. I blushed through some of it and laughed through other parts, but most of the time I was like, Whoa, I could never do that. Or that. Or...oh my god...THAT.

At the end of the movie, the man and lady who were in charge of the whole production came out and started singing a song together. It was cute. They then ripped off their sequined clothes and kept singing. The girl I thought was hot, so I was like Ya, take it off! The guy, on the other hand, was in his mid forties and didn't wear deoderant and was shaking his balls RIGHT in my face. I'm not joking. I was in the front row after all.

I just laughed and laughed and all around it was a good time. It wasn't what I expected, but it was still a good date and gave us a lot to think about. Vince and I went home and talked about it for like 4 hours.

Tonight, we went to eat dinner and I brought up the fact that we saw Bike Porn about a year ago. He was like, "You remember that couple we thought were guys and then you realized one had a strap on and they were really girls?!" As he said this, his voice got louder and more animated and I just started cracking up and shushed him. It could have been misunderstood that we watched porn if had someone overheard us. Oh. Wait. I guess we did watch it.

Anyways, it was good. I'm glad I have an open mind and that things that are 'abnormal' are interesting to me. Otherwise, that night would have FUCKED me up. There was some freaky stuff going on! If you have a chance to see this in a city, do it. Seriously. It's different.