Babies and Hives

Once multiple people tell me I have to blog again, I realize that I do. The past few weeks have been rough though, so I haven't really wanted to blog, or even been able to because it's been private. But now, since nothing is actually happening, it's no longer private and I can talk about it! And talk about it I will.

A couple months ago I somehow convinced the dear husband of mine that we should have a baby, now. After me explaining my reasons, like the fact that I don't want to be pregnant in med school and if we have a kid now they would be that much closer to being in school which would make my schooling easier and Vince's life (essentially a single parent due to med school) way easier, he agreed. I know, I know, you may tell us to just wait but guess what? If I wait until after school that's over 10 years away. I'm not waiting 10 years to have a baby! Plus, I married an old man and I would like him to be alive when our children graduate high school. (I kid, I kid, he's not that old.) So we wanted to have a baby now.

A few months ago I started pre-natals and researched babymaking (so that's how babies are made!) and we decided October would be a great time to start trying. About a week after our 'big discussion', I realized that I was taking a seriously dangerous medication for my hyperthyroid and that Hey! I can't actually be pregnant on it! So that started the trips to the doctor.

The nurse practitioner that I normally go to said she didn't know enough about hyperthyroid and pregnancy and that I needed to go to see an endocrinologist. After learning that a single appointment would be over $800 and that I'd be paying for it essentially out of pocket (thank you, $10,000 insurance deductible) I decided to nix that idea and just find another doctor.

After my own research and talking to my new doctor, we decided to take me off methimazole and put me on PTU, which is a safer hyperthyroid drug. They are both class D drugs that are dangerous, but PTU is safer for a developing fetus. So I started taking that. The first few days sucked and I just wanted to die thanks to thyroid levels that were all over the place and an exhaustion so deep I didn't want to get out of bed. I seriously contemplated dropping out of my classes because 'I didn't like them anyways,' which is false. Fortunately, after a few days my mood lifted and waking up got easier. I was still SO grumpy and mean to Vince but at least I was going to school. Then, I broke out in the hives. EVERYWHERE.

Vince and I were sitting on the couch and I was like, "What the hell, I have all these bug bites everywhere! I'm going to take a shower." After taking my clothes off I realized my body was covered in giant welts and I started yelling and freaking out, not knowing what it was from. Then I realized a very common side affect of PTU is hives! So we ran to the store for Benadryl and after talking it over with a nurse who recommended I go to the ER in case my throat swelled shut, I decided I didn't want to pay the ungodly amount for the visit and went home and stayed up all night fearing I would die. This happened on a Saturday night and I braved it out until Monday for a regular appointment with my doctor.

We couldn't think of anything else that could have caused this, so she said I couldn't take PTU anymore and that since there weren't any other medications I could take, I'd need radioactive iodine (RAI) treatment if I wanted to get pregnant and that we'd have to wait 6-12 months after that to get pregnant. Then she proceeded to freak me the fuck out saying I should take Plan B right now if I could be pregnant and that I had to take a pregnancy test before I could take my medication and that it would be all our faults if we got pregnant on my old medication because the baby had a 100% chance of having birth defects and we'd be in the NICU after the birth blaming ourselves for the problems we caused knowing it was all preventable. I knew I wasn't pregnant, however, so we left without a pregnancy test and now I have a deep hatred for that doctor.

As we were walking out to the car I realized our plans were falling apart and that we wouldn't be having a baby right now. I was crushed, but I knew RAI treatment would be better in the end and safer for a baby and that I'd be able to have the home birth I wanted but wouldn't be able to have right now.

BUT, my hives continued to get worse, despite powerful antihistamines and me stopping my medication, so I knew it wasn't that. Then it dawned on me that I was washing my clothes differently and that it could be that. So after I changed soaps and re-rinsed all my clothes and sheets, life became good again! I could go back on PTU and have a baby!

But then reality set in and both Vince and I knew we really should do the RAI treatment first, or at least consider it. So now we're going to talk to my doctor about it. It's not surgery, but it's still scary. I mean, putting something radio-active into my body to kill off a very important part of my body only to replace it with a synthetic hormone for the rest of my life? I'll be so radioactive right after that I won't even be able to sleep in the same bed or use the same bathroom as Vince for a week! Then we'll have to wait 6-12 months after and wait for my levels to become normal.

So that, my friends, is why I haven't been blogging. I got babies on my mind but can't have them. Anyways, I'll be back soon because I got another Bountiful Baskets and some pictures from the creek!