...Iffy Inklings...

Future Dr. Rideau: I'm going to med school!

2012-02-29T11:49:00.002-07:00

So I've changed my career choice again. I'm going to be a Pediatric Oncologist or an ER doctor. I've know about my decision for a while now, but haven't wanted to 'divulge' the secret yet, mainly because I don't know how people will react to it and that they will react in a bad way.

When I first told Vince I wanted to be a nurse, he said I should just be a doctor. I laughed, saying, 'HA! Like I'm smart enough for that!' But really? I was thinking, 'Man, I wish I could be a doctor. That's what I really want.' Over the next many months after deciding I wanted to be a nurse, I thought about being a doctor a lot. I envisioned myself cramming for tests, memorizing an insane amount of things, doing my residency in a big hospital, living in a different city with my husband. All of these things sounded so exciting to me, yet so impossible. I'm not doctor material! I'm not smart enough!

But wait. I'm getting some of the best grades in my science classes and I have a 4.0. I love learning and am great at it when I apply myself. So the smarts excuse wasn't good enough. My next excuse? OH, THE MONEY.

Did I really want to be $200,000 in debt by the time I graduate?! Well, when you think about how much a doctor makes, it's not really that much money. I could pay it off relatively 'quickly'. And did I really want something like money to stand in the way of what I really wanted for my life?

Which leads me to yet another excuse: I'D BE IN SCHOOL FOR 12.5 MORE YEARS! 2.5 years to finish my bachelors + 4 years med school + 3 years oncology resident + 3 years pediatrics resident = 12.5 years (Or 9.5 years if I become an ER doctor, because I'd have just one 3-year residency.)

I have about 2.5 years until I could complete my bachelors degree in forensic chemistry. Say what? Ya, forensic chemistry. I like chemistry a whole lot more than biology and it's best if I major in a science before going to med school because of all the pre-req science classes I have to take to apply. I'm allowed to choose an emphasis, like health pre-professional or biochemistry, and while health pre-professional would make sense, all the med schools say to choose whatever bachelors you are most interested in. I figure I'll get enough health knowledge out of med school, and forensic chemistry sounds SO fun.

And my last and final excuse? What if other people think I'm stupid? I'm not going to lie, when I've been telling the few people I've talked to that I want to be a doctor, I've held my breath waiting to hear their laughter. Something great has happened though: NO ONE HAS LAUGHED. No one has really acted surprised even, just excited for me! No one has questioned whether I can do it or not and that makes me elated. I don't know why I care so much if people think I'm smart enough or not, because I know I'm smart enough. I know that if I want to be a doctor, I'll be a doctor. So now I'm putting it out to the world officially: I'm going to be a doctor and by golly, I'm so damn excited to be in school until I'm 32. (Ok, so that last part I'm still trying to wrap my head around. I mean, 32! That seems so far away.)

And the best part? I'll be like this guy, with all my tattoos!

(((11)))

2012-02-28T13:36:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by Heather at Brown Eyed Bell(e)! Here's the rules, in case you haven't seen them on the 50 thousand other blogs that are participating:

1. Post these rules.

2. Post a photo of yourself and 11 random things.

3. Answer the questions set for you in the original post.

4. Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.

5. Go to their blog/twitter and tell them you've tagged them.
(Click here to read Heather's response.)

11 Random Things

I) I love sitting with the portable heater two feet from my body. Vince thinks I'm crazy and always says I'm going to burn myself, but I LOVE the heat.

II) Eating apples makes me feel like I'm starving. I can eat a full meal and be stuffed, eat an apple, and feel immediately hungry again. That's why I can only eat an apple before a meal, not as a snack. It makes no sense to me, and when I tell people this after they offer me an apple for a snack, they think I'm crazy.

III) I stick my tongue out when I'm focusing on something. Vince looooves making fun of me for this and will stick his tongue out at me until I notice him and then start laughing.

IV) I'm starting to really love my chemistry class. If you would have told me I'd feel this way five years ago, wait, no at the beginning of the semester, I would have laughed at you.

V) I like my bananas almost green. I can't stand it when they are ripe and soft. Yuck!

VI) I used to eat A1 Sauce plain. I'd pour it on a plate and use my finger to 'scoop' it up and stick it in my mouth.

VII) I sometimes have to take my wedding ring off at night because I can't stop thinking about how it feels on my finger. It's not uncomfortable, but sometimes it bothers me to have something on my left hand and not my right hand, too, and I can't get my mind off it! Thank you, OCD.

VIII) I rarely read just one book at a time. I usually read at least two, and they are usually two completely different books, like a biography and a YA novel. Sometimes I'm in different moods and this is a good way to balance it out.

IX) I love the way my spider plant smells when I accidentally break a piece off. It's just so fresh!

X) I sometimes feel guilty buying something on sale at a local store. I feel like I need to pay full price so they can stay in business!

XI) The whole time I was typing this list I thought I only needed ten random things, so once I got to 11 my mind shut down on itself. Can. not. compute.

11 Questions from Heather

1. Do you have any memories from elementary school?

So many! Here's a weird one: My bus stop used to be right in front of a crematorium. Literally, the bus stop was in the parking lot and we stood underneath the sign. I can't remember if it was a pet crematorium or humans (or both?). The people who owned the crematorium lived right next door, and part of the family was some young boys, one around my age. I was playing with him one day after school and he told me that every time there was smoke coming out of the chimney, they were burning a dead body. I had no idea that's what a crematorium was, but after learning what it was, I would look at the chimney every day while I was waiting for the bus and hoped that smoke wouldn't come out! On the days when there was smoke, I would freak out inside and wish the bus would come sooner!

2. What is your absolute favorite outfit to wear, and why?

I love jeans, flats/slip-ons, and a cute fitted shirt. I don't typically like wearing baggy clothes, I like things fitted!

3. Have you ever had to stay in a hospital overnight?

Not really. Both times I was admitted to the hospital was in the middle of the night though.

4. What is the farthest you have traveled?

Montana/Washington to see family.

5. Does your family have any type of traditions?

So many! Simple ones like eating potato soup and clam chowder on Christmas Eve after going caroling, singing the super long happy birthday song on someones birthday (ya know, after the Birthday Song, sing "and Scooby Doo on channel two! Frankenstein on channel nine! Big fat lady on channel 80! A Whole lot more on channel four, and lets sing it again on channel 10!" and then sing Happy Birthday again?).

6. Is there any type of tradition YOU would like to start?

Vince and I started some of our own last year since it was our first year married! Click here to read the post about them.

7. What fills your heart with joy?

Babies. such a generic answer, but seriously. How can your heart not be filled with joy when a kid with two teeth grins at you or when a baby leans in to you for cuddle time?!

8. If you could change your first name would you? and if so, what would you change it to?

I used to say I wanted to change my name because I hated the spelling. No one would pronounce it right the first time and NO one knows how to spell it. (Even on Facebook! I mean seriously, MY NAME IS RIGHT ON YOUR DAMN SCREEN.) However, I love my name now and wouldn't want to change it!

9. Is there a day you would relive over and over if given the chance?

I don't think there is any day I'd want to live over and over again because then it would ruin it! Ya know, like how you eat the same thing for a few weeks or listen to the same song over and over and then one day you're totally over? I wouldn't want that to happen. (And if Groundhog Day has taught me anything, it's that living the same day over and over again gets old!)

10. What is your favorite part about blogging?

Definitely having is me like my scrapbook. It's so nice to have my pictures and thoughts in one place that I can save and share with others!

11. If money was not an option, what is the one thing you would do today?

I would go eat at all my favorite restaurants. PF Changs, Cusine of India, Cafe Ole...everything I love!

So I'm not going to tag anyone because most of the blogs I read have already done this! Instead, I invite everyone, and if you do it, let me know! Here's your 11 questions from me:

1) What is your favorite game to play on you phone?
2) What was something silly you did as a kid? Imaginary friend, suck your thumb until you were ten, etc.
3) What is your favorite brand and style of shoes?
4) What is the most money you'd pay for art in your home?
5) What's your favorite food you can find in the frozen aisle? Taquitos, Burritos, Pies etc.
6) Do you like to travel? (I know some people like the idea of traveling, but hate the process!)
7) Do you wear glasses or contacts?
8) What genre of book do you like to read?
9) What is a job you wish you could do? (Even if you thought you didn't have the brains or ability to do it, like gymnast or astronaut or something.)
10) Do you like hot or cold weather?
11) What is your favorite drink? (Alcoholic or not.)

Thriftinggggg and GF Cupcakes

2012-02-24T17:55:00.000-07:00

Today was another one of those good good days.

I woke up early to pick up my niece from my sister before she went to school and we went to the library for Parent/Child Play and Learn. Despite not being the parent, I still take her to things like that! Basically, in a room at the library (where I used to work) there are tons of toys everywhere and each week there is a new 'themed' therapists there. Sometimes it's a music therapy person, sometimes, like today, it's a speech therapist. Today the lady walked around talking to parents (or grandparents, aunts, etc) and asked them questions about their kids and how they were developing. Then, based on what their response was, she gave advice on how to help them with the stage they were at. She asked if Alyla was talking or anything yet, and gave me some advice on how to help her get 'talking' more (she's still at the babble stage and saying things like ba-ba). It's nice to have a professional to bounce ideas off of!

One thing that's really great is that Alyla gets to be around other kids. While my sister as at work, various family members watch her so she's typically by herself without other kids. So, it was good for her to get around other kids and play for an hour, and have songs at the end!

After Play and Learn, she was SO tired. She's not used to running around a room and interacting so much, so she fell asleep on the way to my house. She took a THREE HOUR nap, which was wonderful for me since I was pretty tired, too!

Once she woke up, I met up with my friend Cori and the three of us went to some thrift stores. Alyla wanted to just run around and not be held! Luckily she was only with us for two thrift stores before we dropped her off with my sister and headed off to more thrift stores. After a quick stop for happy hour at Sonic, we were done! Here are some fun things I found today for so ridiculously cheap I can't believe it. I'm usually not so lucky in the thrifting department, but I'm so happy with what I got today! Here is a little 'sample':

Two placemats for our new table. I've noticed water rings from cups and plates are kind of hard to get rid off, so I got these to use when we eat! They match that area in our kitchen perfectly.

These were 25 cents each, how could I pass them up?! They're so cute and a good sized drinking class.

And a perfect little baby spoon that Alyla totally loves and knows is for her. When I held it up to her she did her cute, 'Oooh!' pucker lipped face!

To 'end' my day, even though it's not even 6pm, I munched on one of four gluten free cupcakes my sister bought me. She's bought me gluten free stuff before, but most of the time it's not cooked in a dedicated facility and contains trace amounts of gluten, so I can never eat it. I always feel bad telling her, but she remembered to check this time! And oh boy am I excited about her discovering them! She got them from Fry's freezer aisle and I can't believe how delicious they are. I'm even more surprised that a regular grocery store carries them! They are so moist and yummy. I ate the red velvet cupcake tonight, but there are also lemon, carrot and chocolate in the package. (Sara, you need to get some of these when you're in town!)

I had to take the frosting off because it was so rich, but I've never been a frosting person anyways.

So, how has your Friday been? I'm going to finish the night hanging out with the ol' ball and chain watching TV and crafting!

Thankful

2012-02-22T22:47:00.003-07:00

So. I've only taken a few pictures with my phone this week, some of which I showed in yesterdays post...so no Humpty-Dumpty this week!

Instead, I have a couple of iPhone pictures from my hike today with Roxanne and a Thankful Thursday post.

One thing I'm super thankful for is a husband who just wants me to succeed. Today I was talking to Vince on the phone when he had a break at work and told him I was super sick of a research paper/lab report that I'm writing up. He told me I should take a quick hike out in the woods with Roxi since it was super nice outside. My first thought was, 'Ya, right! You just don't want to walk the dog tonight!'

She almost blends in with the fallen pine needles!
But I took her anyways and it was great! It was so refreshing to get outside and away from homework and a dirty house. It was just a couple mile hike, but it was a nice way to spend an hour. I knew deep down that Vince wouldn't have recommended a walk if he didn't think it would be good for me! So I'm glad he called me twice to tell me to get out of the house...

Anyways, what are you all thankful for?!

Distraction from your daily life...

2012-02-21T15:51:00.002-07:00

Ok, ok, enough of the comments, texts and emails already...I'm posting!

I've just been too distracted to write anything recently. In fact, as I started to right this my dog started choking on her bone and I had to go check on her! Then I almost decided to touch up the paint on the edges of the doorway in my living room that peeled off when I took off the painters tape. BUT NO. I stopped myself and am here at my kitchen table typing away. Yes, I have a kitchen table. Did I mention that yet? We bought this one from Target, and I will show a picture of the whole kitchen soon, when it isn't covered in homework. I love doing homework at it because it's a high bar-stool style and it's a perfect fit!

Some fun things that have happened:
KIX ARE GLUTEN FREE. So help me God, folks, if anyone knew about this and didn't tell me? You're going down. Every once in a while I'll walk down the cereal aisle in the grocery store and pick up a box of my favorite cereal, just to check if it's gluten free yet. 9.99999 times out of 10, it is still filled with gluten (I mean really, are Wheaties ever going to be gluten free? I think not.) but this time the heavens shined down and I discovered that Kix are gluten free. I literally let out a little 'Eek!' sound, loud enough for the guy int he same aisle to laugh at me. Then I read the ingredients list 8 or 9 times and asked myself what I wasn't allowed to eat on a gluten free diet, because surely I was thinking wrong. But nope. I cam home, ate 5 (!!!) big bowls, and was fine. Ok, so enough about cereal.

My mom had a Total Disc Replacement surgery on her back. I woke up way before dawn and took her to the hospital to get ready. After hours of waiting, we heard she had a textbook surgery and everything went great! She even had the doctor who created the disk in on her surgery and he flew in from France specifically to see her! How awesome is that? Hopefully this will now fix her back problems for good.

My brother spent the night at my house! My dad won some tickets to a show on Friday night, so my little bro came over to play lots of Sonic, watch Avatar: The Last Airbender, and eat cookies. He told me he wanted to live with me because my house was so fun. Aww, how sweet! But no thank you. One funny thing was that Roxi kept trying to push Will off the couch, because that's where she sleeps. In the morning he was sitting there playing on my phone and she kept slowly laying on him and pushing him, and he moved from one side of the couch to the other.

Bath time with the niece! She loves water so much I feel like I should take her to swimming lessons!

Tea with the bestie. It's so great to just sit and talk for hours and not get bored.

And lastly, a new dress! I broke out the new tripod I've had for a couple months now and used it. I must say, I would suck as a fashion blogger.

Dress/Belt: Basement Marketplace (fav local store!) Tights: Target Boots(that you can't really see): Ross

Ok, so this post should be good enough for another week, right? Hehe, I'm just kidding. Hopefully I'll feel the desire to post again soon.

Humpty-Dumpty 2.15.12

2012-02-15T19:55:00.000-07:00

Oh, look who decided to post today. About time.

Humpty-Dumpty...get it? An iPhone photo dump on hump day? I know, it's so clever I can't believe I actually thought of it on my own. This happens every Wednesday, or every Wednesday I manage to do it. Click here to see previous entries. Want to join in? Leave me a link in the linky thing!

(Some of these you may seen on Facebook, if you're a friend!)
||1|| New shirt I scored for $2! I love the peek-a-boo sleeve!
||2|| Art project for the kitchen. Gunna create me a collage wall above the table.
||3|| Get some.

||4|| As I posted to Facebook, I really wanted to make this large box, that previously contained the pieces to my table, into a reading fort! Unfortunately, I have no space in my house for it.
||5|| I threw my glasses on the fridge, where the veggie/fruit basket resides, and they happened to land not he spaghetti squash like this. Then Vince decided to draw eyes on it while I was doing the dishes! I laughed and was so sad when I decided to cook it.
||6|| I went to Dew Downtown Flagstaff over the weekend. Basically, the city shut down a couple blocks in downtown and covered the streets in a bunch of snow. Then people were able to ski/snowboard down! It was pretty fun to watch, but the conditions were awful for it. We hadn't gotten any snow recently and it was so sunny outside some people were wearing shorts!

||7|| For the first day or two after I bought the yellow squash, I left it on the kitchen floor. One day Roxanne decided it was hers and kept carrying it around the house and trying to take it outside! I thought I was going to cry, I thought it was so cute.
||8|| Vince sneaking pictures of me playing with niece, who you can't see in the picture, thus making me look crazy!
||9|| Clean baby niece!

||10|| When I was watching Alyla this weekend, Vince and I made a day of it and did fun stuff all around town.
||11|| YES.
||12|| Lunch with the bestie. ♥

What I'd Shove My Face With

2012-02-12T14:08:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I get so few up with eating gluten free that I REALLY want to cheat. I want to gather up a bunch of gluten filled foods, sit on my couch, and just shove my face, regardless of the awful sickness that would come after. Luckily, I have always been able to resist those urges and have never, not once, cheated. From the day I decided to go gluten free, I have never intentionally eaten gluten. Granted, I've had gluten accidentally, but not intentionally. I am always very good about asking 5 million questions when we go out to eat, I'm sure to call companies to see if their products contain gluten (if it's not clear from the labels) and always quadruple check to be sure something isn't cross contaminated. (I'm so sensitive that if I kiss my husband right after he's eaten gluten I get sick!)

So instead of eating gluten, I will tell you guys what I would eat if I could.

Thin Mints Girl Scouts are roaming around right now trying to sell people their delicious cookies and hot damn, do I miss them. I loved keeping them in the freezer and eating a whole sleeve.

Sugar or Maple Glazed Donut I know, I can make them gluten free, but I would prefer to spend 50 cents at Safeway and get a perfect, sugar, just right donut.

Negro Modello I am not a big alcohol drinker. Even when I tell my husband I want to have wine with dinner, I rarely finish a glass. This is fine with me, but sometimes I just really want a Negro Modello with a lime in it. It's perfect on those summer days when I'm sitting in the sun reading!

Ramen Ho boy, would I love me some Ramen. When I was younger, sometimes I would get such a craving for that and Saltines that I couldn't eat anything else. Nothing would be a substitute. Well, I still get those urges, but I have no choice but to find a substitute.

Sourdough Bread Again, I could probably make this and have it be pretty similar, but similar doesn't cut it. Sometimes I just want to get a loaf of fresh baked bread and just eat the soft delicious inside, leaving the crust for someone else.

Flour Tortillas with Butter and Cinnamon Sugar This used to be a pretty common night time snack at my grandparents house when I lived there. We would but butter on a tortilla, sprinkle it with cinnamon sugar, roll it up, and throw it in the microwave for 30 seconds. AMAZING. I've tried it with brown rice tortillas, but the texture is way off.

Breadsticks from Olive Garden and Cheddar Biscuits from Red Lobster The only reason I went to these two restaurants was for their bread items. Since being gluten free, Vince and I have been to each restaurant one time and I realized their food wasn't the best, their breads were. It was always sad to tell the waiter not to bring it out (because Vince didn't want to eat ten without me...how sweet!). Yes, their gluten free food is good, but the price is not comparable to me if I don't get what I really want!

Fish Sandwich from McDonalds Ok, I know you're probably gagging. But seriously? Those sandwiches were a perfect mix of disgusting and amazing.

Buffets I miss all sorts of buffets: salad, chinese, soup...any! Even if the ingredients should be gluten free, such as salad, I never know if it's been cross contaminated, which means I shouldn't eat it.

And the thing I miss the most?

Sugar Cookies You know those cookies you buy in the store plastic containers that have a massive amount of frosting and the cookies are light and fluffy, almost like cake? I miss those. It's funny because those ALWAYS made me feel so sick after (with too much gluten and sugar) but they might be the thing I miss the most, which is weird to me. I see them all the time and just want to snatch them up. Those, and the ones that are hard sugar cookies with the pink sugar on top that are always out around Valentines Day. (I'll have to take a picture next time I'm at the store so that know what I'm talking about, if you don't know by this description.)

So there you have it. What I would shove my face with if I could. If you're gluten free, what do you miss eating the most? If you're not gluten free, what do you think you'd miss the most?

Grand Canyon

2012-02-10T09:36:00.000-07:00

Can you believe I'm actually sharing pictures and writing about a trip right after it's happened, and not weeks later?! I almost can't believe it myself...but it's here! My trip to the Grand Canyon with my family. (Picture heavy, by the way!)

My aunt Jacque, cousins Brett and Alex, Brett's friend Robert, my brother Connor, my mom Shannon, my sister Suzanne, and her boyfriends cousin Jake headed to the Grand Canyon on Saturday for a quick day trip. (Vince was busy with a bike photo shoot for work to go. Lame!) My aunt and her posse were in town visiting and this was a good way to spend some time.

Connor, Brett, Robert, and Jake, all teenage boys, came in the car with me.

On the way out of town, we stopped at a gas station to get some snacks and they all loaded up on Mountain Dew and Monsters. I reminded them that we'd be in a car for an hour and a half and they all said their bladders could handle it, so I laughed and said 'Ok' as I put the car into drive.

Within 20 minutes a couple of the guys asked when the next bathroom was and I just laughed! We quickly stopped at a gas station. They didn't get new drinks, but they did continue drinking the ones they had, thinking they could make it to the Grand Canyon. I didn't think they'd be able to, though.

Sure enough, 20 minutes later they had to go. I'm pretty sure one of the boys was going to cry, it seemed like he had to go so bad! It was too funny. So we stopped again. Turns out everyone was hungry anyways so we stopped at McDonalds, where I had to sit and eat nothing while smelling delicious fries! Luckily I ate right before we left so I wasn't hungry. The guys all got giant sodas, so when we hit the road again, I figured they'd have to go to the bathroom soon, despite the fact that we were like 7 miles away.

And when we got to the Canyon? THEY HAD TO PEE. So bad, in fact, they couldn't wait to get to the bathroom so they just went behind a building in some bushes! I seriously thought I was going to die from inner laughter. (I didn't want to make them feel bad by laughing!)

Before we got to the canyon, we pulled into the visitors center, not knowing where to go. We assumed we could see the canyon from there, but we actually couldn't, or so we thought. After looking at the sign in the picture, I feel like we could have...

Instead of paying attention to the sign, we just walked towards the visitor's center.

After going into a pretty huge building and seeing that a boat was the only thing in there, we decided to skedaddle and find our destination.

The whole gang, minus me! It was kind of chilly, if you couldn't tell.

We eventually found our way to the giant hole in the ground and it was beautiful!

A couple of people in our group hadn't seen it before and they loved it. It was strange for me to be there and not hike, which is what I've always done when I've gone there, but it was fun to walk around the shops and hangout with my family. The guys definitely got a kick out of the binocular/telescope things at the 'Lookout Studio'.

Alex was so cute; he would be happy going to the edge and looking down over the wall, but when I wanted to take a picture with his back towards the canyon, he was so not having it! He was to scared. I understand though, when I took a picture with Suz with my back towards the canyon, I was scared myself!

Despite being surrounded by cactus, I went ahead and bought a little one to bring home to Vince as a souvenir. I wanted to bring him something Grand Canyon related, but most of the stuff they had was outrageously expensive or something that would just be junk that we don't need in our small home. I think it's cute though!

After walking around for a bit more, we headed back up the mountain to Flagstaff, passing some mules and seeing the snowy mountain from afar.

Once in town, the girls and Alex went and ate dinner at Cafe Ole. It was, of course, delicious!

Then we went swimming...er, hung out in the jacuzzi, before I went home.

Overall, it was a super fun trip! It was SO funny to be in a car full of teenage boys and listen to all the sex/drinking/gaming talk that they had to say. I forgot how competitive teenage boys are and how silly they can be!

Tax Knowledge

2012-02-09T10:32:00.000-07:00

I'm thankful that I have a dad that taught me so many amazing things, such as filing my taxes!

I got my first job when I was 14 or 15 (I can't remember now) at Jack in the Box. I didn't make too much money, but I did make enough to have to file taxes. My dad sat me down and walked me through all the steps showing me how to do it. When I finishing filling out the state tax forms, it ended up that I owed money. Even though I begged him (and may have cried!) he told me that if I chose to work in this country, I would have to pay taxes, that's just how it was.

I'm so thankful that he's instilled this important fact in me. Yes, even though I have to pay state taxes every year, (except this year for some reason) I know that it's my responsibility to take care of that. Some people may not like giving the government money, and I totally agree, I'd prefer it in my pocket, but as a citizen it's my responsibility to just do it! The majority of my friends don't file their taxes, or only do if they are going to get money, and I'm so happy that I'm not like that.

It's also a confidence boost to know that now? I don't need anyones help with things like this. I can do it on my own and know that I did a great job because I was taught well.

So this year, to my friends out there: file your darn taxes! You can do it free, online, from H&R Block, or click here for some other options. It got me $400 more than I thought I was going to get! State taxes can't be filed for free through them, but you can fill out your own forms and then input the information into H&R Block and they will give you their refund estimate. As long as yours is the same as theirs, you're good to go and can just mail in your forms! (You may even be able to e-file online for state...I think there is an income limit and I passed it) Or you can pay the $20. Just do it!

If you need BASIC help, let me know. I helped a friend out last year who thought she was going to get $0 and ended up getting $800!

Tip: If you just need the basic form, like if you're not paying for your own schooling, not putting money in a retirement/IRA account, etc, then you can just fill out the 1040EZ for federal taxes and the 140EZ for Arizona state taxes. It's a single page, and the only information you need is right on your W-2s! As long as you just read the directions, you can be done in 10 minutes.

As always, linking up with Brown Eyed Bell(e)!

Humpty-Dumpty 2.8.12

2012-02-08T00:11:00.001-07:00

From left to right.

||1|| The Grand Canyon!

||2|| My aunt, me, my sister and my mom.

||3|| My bike! I've been enjoying riding it around town recently. On Monday I rode all over town doing errands and brought my friend breakfast/lunch to cure her hangover after her power hour the night before.

||4|| Wear your helmet, or else. (If I can pull one off on my wedding day, anyone can!)

||5|| Guacamole.

||6|| Me, my brother, sister and mom and the Grand Canyon.

||7|| Dogggyy.

||8|| Sink baths are the best is what my niece would say if she could talk. I started the water and she immediately went, 'Oh!' and raised her eyebrows. She LOVES water!

||9|| Diablo Burger. Amazing fries, gluten free buns, open-range local beef.

||10|| My husband and I on our way to Diablo Burger. I must say, I love being able to call him my husband!
||11|| Overcast/snowy day while walking the dog.
||12|| Snow that didn't end up sticking.

Feel free to add to the link-up with regular or phone pictures and leave a link back to my blog!

Losing my mind.

2012-02-07T17:24:00.001-07:00

Ok. So I've talked a little before about my memory and how I forget things. Well, I was looking through old drafts of posts that I never published, and this survey was one of them. When I saw it I thought, 'Sweet! I don't feel like writing anything awesome right now so I'll just complete this! I started re-filling in the answers with my own, when I got down the the question about my biggest pet peeve. I was like, 'Hey! That's my pet peeve, and we (as in the other person who filled out this surgery before me) even have the same names for our husbands!' That's when I realized I already filled the survey out. OH MY GOD. Why does my brain do this to me? So anyways, here's the original survey, from the first time I filled this out like...2 months ago. And I promise, I have some 'real' posts here soon...I went to the Grand Canyon this weekend with the fam, so I have photographic evidence of that, my tattoos are healed and are ready to be photographed, I'm in the process of a before and after of my bathroom, and I cooked some bomb-diggity oatmeal I want to share! Here's a picture of the cactus I bought at the Grand Canyon:

Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Closed.

Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Hellz to the ya. I don't know why, I never use them! Free is free, though,

Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Tucked in if I happened to make the bed recently. Otherwise no. The feet are always tucked in though!

Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
I was with some people when one got stolen, but I didn't physically steal it! Guilty by association, though...

Do you like to use post-it notes?
Sometimes. I'm more of a notebook person, the stickies never work!

Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
Welcome to my life. Sometimes I'm right on with them and use them all up, but most of the time I forget about them or I never needed the product in the first place.

Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Bees.

Do you have freckles?
Yep, all over!

Do you always smile for pictures?
Ya, otherwise I feel like an ass.

What is your biggest pet peeve?
Rewinding movies. Vince drives me NUTS with that. He'll be watching something on Netflix on the PS3 and he'll go to the bathroom and not pause it. Then I'll walk in the room and realize it and pause it, and he'll come back in and rewind it to the spot he left off at. I don't know why he doesn't just PAUSE it and then resume when he comes back! God, I'm getting all flustered just thinking about it. I seriously hate it so so so so much.

Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
All. The. Time.

Have you ever peed in the woods?
Many times!

What about pooped in the woods?
When ya gotta go, ya gotta go.

Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?
Yes, yes I do.

Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Nope. One time when I was younger I put a pen in my mouth and it tastes like earwax. Ever since then, I haven't done it again.

How many people have you slept with this week?
Two, if my dog counts.

What size is your bed?
Queen.

Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Stupid question. I don't care what people wear as long as it covers up the important parts.

Do you still watch cartoons?
Yep, there's so many on Netflix Instant!

Whats your least favorite movie?
Again, stupid question. There are SO many!

Sloth Meltdown

2012-02-04T21:21:00.001-07:00

I watched this last week when it came out (er, I guess not a full week ago) and came across it again today in my bookmarks and figured I'd share. I've always loved Kristen Bell and I'm pretty sure I cried when I learned that Veronica Mars was cancelled. The whole reason I started watching Gossip Girl, even, was because she was the narrator. And now, to watch a video like this, I'm pretty sure I love her even more!

It's especially funny around 3:00 when Ellen says she has a sloth there. I cried laughing! 'My heart is beating so fast!'

Don't you like your kidneys?

2012-02-02T00:31:00.005-07:00

One thing I'm thankful for is my health. I've gone through a lot of ups and downs with it, but none of the diagnosis' were terminal. None of them were going to quickly kill me if I didn't take care of them, and I am SO thankful for that.

There are so many people in this world that can't say that, but we healthy people (and even unhealthy people) have the chance to help those who can't say what I can. I've been reading Brown Eyed Bell(e) blog for a while now, and her cousin Kristy needs a new kidney. The downside that is so fucked up it blows my mind? She has to have $5,000 to prove she can pay for her medicine before she can even be put on the wait list. Sorry for the harsh language, but that's a pretty harsh deal.

I totally stole this photo from here.

In this country, where people spends thousands of dollars on unnecessary things like clothes, shoes, Starbucks, and lavish cars, there are people who's lives are being lost because they can't afford money to be put on a treatment list. And it's not even guaranteed that she'd get a kidney, it's just the wait list!

So I encourage you, on this glorious Thursday afternoon where you are most likely a healthy human being, to donate some money to her fund. It doesn't matter if it's $1 or $100, everything adds up. Seriously. Skip your latte today and donate $5. It's pretty easy and will make you feel good knowing that you are helping someone! She's only $813 away!

Lastly, here is a timeline of her hospital visits. I can't believe how much she has been through.

* June of 2007 she noticed that she was starting to lose weight, and having problems swallowing properly when she ate. She also started missing a lot of work due to fatigue. When she discovered at a health seminar at work that she had high blood pressure, she made an appointment with her doctor.

* August of 2007, she had her first endoscopy. It led to her diagnosis of Achalasia.

* September 2007 she saw her first surgeon and scheduled an 1.5 hour laparscopic procedure.

* November 2007 - 1.5 hour procedure turned into a 10 hour tumor removal from the GI Junction, and a one month hospital stay. When a nurse came to check on her during that first night after the procedure, she realized Kristy's left lung had collapsed completely and her right one half way. Kristy spent about 2 weeks in ICU after that incident.

* December 2007 - BACK to the hospital with the same problems.

*** Kristy spent EVERY SINGLE HOLIDAY from December '07 through August '08 in the hospital, the hardest for her was Thanksgiving as that's always been her favorite holiday ***

* December 2007 through August 2008 Kristy was in and out of the hospital from dehydration and not being able to hold any foods down.

*** During this time Kristy got down to 70lbs and had several seizures from her blood pressure being so high. The whole time Kristy's husband, Tony was working and making the daily trip from Orlando to Tampa to be with Kristy. He lost his job in June 08 ***

* August 2008 - Esophagus was removed

* September 2008 - BACK to the hospital after not even being out a week. Kristy now couldn't even walk a few feet without being short of breath. This time she was admitted to Orlando Regional, which is MUCH closer to home, and told she had severe pneumonia. She was there a week this time. They let her go home before they got the results back from her cultures they did.The VERY next morning she got a call that she had to go back IMMEDIATELY as she had V.R.E a very bad bacterial infection.

* October 2008 - blood clot was found on my spleen, and an echo revealed that she had an infected blood clot in her heart, on her right atrium. Kristy begged the Dr not to do Open Heart Surgery, but after upping her thinners and the medicine not working, open heart surgery was a must. October 15th a spleenectamy was attempted, followed by open heart surgery the very next day, and the next day a drain was put in for her spleen.She also had a fistula put in to prepare her for dialysis however it didn't develop in time, and she had to have a catheter put in her groin for emergency dialysis.

* November 2008 - Perma Catheter Surgery since her fistula never developed due to clotting. Finally was released from the hospital mid November from when I went in early September.

* January 2009 - Went to Orlando Regional because her dialysis labs showed she had an infection and they had to take out her catheter. she had 3 different perma catheters put in due to infections from Jan 09 - August 09.

* February 2009 - Went to Orlando Regional because her left leg was swelling. A clot was found on her left leg, then after removing yet another catheter more clots were found throughout her left leg and chest. An MRI showed she had a clot on her left lung.

* May 2009 - Attempted angioplasty surgery because my clots from February 2009 were still there and quite bit. Well, this didn't work because they weren't able to complete the surgery.

* August 2009 - Graft was put in Kristy's right leg for dialysis. This graft gave her freedom again. She was now free to do water activities such as SHOWER (she hadn't had an actual shower since 2008) and swimming.

* August 2010 - went to the hospital because she was throwing up blood. Had a couple of transfusions and an endoscopy was done and they discovered she had torn her esophagus. It was repaired and she was released.

CURRENT - Kristy attends dialysis 3x a week for 2.5 hours each and is desperately hoping she will qualify to go on the transplant list this October. She has a list of things she has to complete to qualify. The hardest for her to complete is the $5,000 out of pocket expense.

DONATE!

Humpty-Dumpty 2.1.12

2012-02-01T00:41:00.001-07:00

Look at that...IT'S FEBRUARY ALREADY. As a kid I never thought time would fly by, but oh boy, does it.

From left to right.

||1|| I went to the dentist last week and only had to get one cavity filled!

||2|| Chipotle goat cheese. Best. Stuff. Ever. The inside is a creamy goat cheese that is from local goats, and the outside has a spicy chipotle 'rub'. It's amazing stuff, but will cost you your first child.

||3|| Newly discovered wine, though Vince said I have had it before.

||4|| Caramel corn that our aunt and mother-in-law sent Vince and I! (Which will counteract that cavity I got filled...) It's SO good. I brought some to my dad's house for him, my stepmom and brother and my dad basically ate the whole bag himself!

||5|| So, funny story. I dropped some uncooked quinoa on the drying mat while Vince was doing dishes. He told me I needed to clean it up soon or it would start to grow. I laughed it off, but the next day when I went to clean it up, the quinoa had already grown little tails!

||6|| A gorgeous tile we also got from our aunt and mother-in-law. It's so awesome! I need to find a spot to hang it.

||7|| Seriously Roxanne? THE BED WAS MADE.

||8|| A cup from a pair we got for wedding gifts made by a gal here in town. (I'll have to find her business card...)

||9|| When she cuddles, she likes to be all up in yo grill.

||10|| Me! Wearing shorts! At the gym! My legs are almost healed!

||11|| Homemade graham crackers using this great recipe!

As always, I encourage you to link up, whether it be from a phone or regular camera!

Roundup

2012-01-30T09:51:00.000-07:00

A roundup of some thoughts...
|| I got the darn flu. Saturday night/Sunday morning I woke up and proceeded to throw up basically every hour for the entire morning. Now I'm afraid to eat cheese, chips, and homemade graham crackers since that's the last thing I ate. Grr!

|| To change the topic, can I just say how much I love the new blogger comment system? It's SO much easier to reply to comments, it doesn't take a bazillion hours to load like Disqus did, and it's so sleek! I love it.

|| I'm in the process of rearranging my whole house, basically, and now I want to be a designer with a bunch of money to spend. Oh, the ideas in my head!

|| I'm kind of over school already. I was excited to start the semester but my teachers follow the whole, 'For every hour you spend in class, you will have at least two hours of outside work.' This means for my 6 hour class, I have 12 hours of homework, for my 5 hour class I have 10 hours of homework, and for my 3 hour class I have 6 hours of homework. I've never had a teacher actually follow this rule, but all THREE of my teachers this semester are taking that rule to heart. I never thought I could have so much chemistry, statistics and biology homework! It's completely overwhelming.

|| Despite the fact that I'm kind of over school, I am completely in love with it. When I am smart enough to know the answer to most of the questions my teachers asks the class, I feel pretty confident that I can pass these classes if I continue putting in good study time. (Oh, and I can never say my answer in time because little miss I know everything yet my answers are wrong 50% of the time, but Hey! I'm still going to shout out an answer any time I can who sits a few seats away always shouts an answer out; let someone else answer for once!)

|| Have I said how much I love not having a job at the moment? I'm excited to work somewhere but it's been nice to not have too many things pulling me in so many directions. It's allowed me to blog a lot more because I can write whenever I get inspired to, not in the 2 hour window before I had to go to bed!

|| Our bathroom sink hasn't worked in a few weeks, and Vince finally fixed it! We only use it to brush our teeth, though, because there is a separate hot and cold knob that are a foot away from each other, which makes it impossible to wash my face. (Meaning I wash it in the kitchen sink!) Vince shattered a glass in the sink and the pieces went down the drain which made it not able to drain at all. After it not working for a few weeks, I finally bought a bucket and complained enough to him. (I was afraid to do it because I thought water would fly everywhere for some reason. I pretty much do all the other hangman work in the house though!)

|| I'm addicted to almond butter on apples, for real. And at $7.39 a jar, I wish I hadn't gone through that last one so quickly. BUT, I do love the empty jar and it's my new favorite milk glass.

|| I got a membership to a family gym here in town and I've gone at least five days a week. I finally have a six pack that is peeking it's way through my belly. When I see improvements like that, it makes me want to go to the gym more, add more weights to the machine, and stay longer!

|| I look through the pictures of our wedding every few weeks (I'm such a sap...) and I just love this one. Such a fun night filled with delicious fudge sauce!

And I can't help but to laugh at the expression on my stepmom Pam's face. I love you!! hehe.

She did it again...

2012-01-28T11:35:00.000-07:00

Well, looky here...a new design! I know I just re-did it recently, but I wasn't completely stoked on the header, but I love this new one! I still have a few tweaks to work out, but overall it's great. (If you're reading this in a reader, head over here and see it!)

Last night Vince was out of town, so I decided I wanted to really get the house in order. We've been moving around and getting rid of a ton of stuff in the kitchen and living room, so the house has been an organized wreck! We were both so sick of it, but neither of us wanted to do anything because we didn't even know where to start! I finally got so fed up with it that I just turned on an old mix CDs and started thinking about what I wanted to start with. Listening to the music I was obsessed with in high school/middle school was pretty amazing; Oasis, No Doubt, Panic at the Disco, The Shins, Kelly Clarkson, Alanis Morisette, gotta love it!

While my mind was completely ready to start cleaning and organizing, by body was like, 'Guuuuuh. Stay. On. Couch. Don't move!' So to combat this, I decided to drink some green tea around 6:30pm. Well, my body doesn't do very well with caffeine so I was ready to rage and up until like 3am. If I have a soda with caffeine in it, I usually have to drink it before 11am or noon or I will be up ALL NIGHT. Seriously. Tea with caffeine I usually have to have by 2 or 3pm, and I drank it way after.BUT, I got SOOO much work done! I don't think I'm going to tell Vince what I did and wait to see his reaction when he walks in the door this afternoon. It'll be so awesome!

Anyways, after all that cleaning I was still not completely tired, just had a backache, so I wanted to just sit on the couch. I didn't want to watch Netflix, though, so I re-designed this blog! I was inspired by Katie's Pencil Box (and also inspired to take more pictures!). I LOVE that she doesn't have a bunch of gadgets on her side bar. It's just a header, some links up top, and her blog. So that was kind of the look I was going for.

I still have some gadgets at the bottom, though I think I'm going to get rid of some because almost everything at the bottom you can access from the links up top. Speaking of the links up top, I want to re-do a lot of the information in them. The About Me still totally applies to me, but I want to out updated pictures and whatnot, add new pictures to the Facebook page, (PS: go 'like' me!) as well as finally (!!) complete a post on all my tattoos. My legs are almost healed and ready for pictures, and my arm is finally done, I just have to take pictures of that as well. I got a tripod a few weeks ago and I'm ready to put it to good use.

So, what do you think of the re-design?! PLEASE, let me know if anything is taking a long time to load of if pictures don't show up so I can change some things!

Thankful for being a woman...not!

2012-01-27T18:12:00.001-07:00

Well, today I planned to post my response to the Indie Ink Writing Challenge until I realized the challenge was due yesterday. I thought it was due today! I blew that one. So instead, I'm here to talk about being thankful for being a woman and PMSing (Ha!) which I meant to post yesterday for the Thankful Thursday link-up and forgot. (Sorry, Heather, for this not being a traditional 'Thankful' post! Hehe) What has been up with me these past couple days?! So this is a cue to the guys to stop reading, if they wish. It's not gross or anything, though...

Typically, my body reminds me that I need to take out my birth control (thus, starting my period) before my calendar does. I'm definitely thankful that I am 'in-tune' with my body, but how so? Well here's a list of completely stereotypical and unstereotypical things that fit me. The signs typically start 2-3 days before.

I know I've just posted a picture of this, but it's so good. I can eat an entire bar and have it be less sugar than a can of soda, and the bar is huge! (Think king size Hershey's bar?)

I continuously gravitate toward the chocolate aisle at the store. I don't typically eat a lot of chocolate, yet I still end up there. That's when the light bulb goes on.

I cry over simple things, like the fact that it's not raining outside. If I'm going to be all crampy and tired, I would like the weather to be stormy outside, for some reason. Sometimes I'm so sad by the fact that it's sunny outside that I just cry.

I yell at my husband, but in the same sentence immediately say I'm sorry and that I don't know what's wrong with me. Again, that's when the lightbulb goes off.

I just want to cuddle. I'll call Vince at work almost in tears and say, 'I'm just having an off day. It's not bad or good, I just want to go home and cry while watching a movie with my head in your lap.'

I want to wear sweatpants everywhere. Everything else just seems tight and uncomfortable, and how can say no to soft, sweet, inviting sweatpants?

I crave milk like crazy. I'd drink a gallon a day if organic milk weren't so darn expensive!

Do you ladies crave anything weird or do crazy things when it's 'that time'?

Humpty-Dumpty 1.25.12

2012-01-24T23:24:00.000-07:00

So Picnik, my absolute favorite internet photo-editing website, is saying they are shutting down and moving to Google+ in a couple months. In the meantime, they took away the collage feature, which is how I create all my collages, including Humpty-Dumpty. I have searched and searched high and low for ANY kind of site that is similar and easy like Picnik, and have had no luck. What do you guys use for collages or photo-editing? I don't feel like spending a couple hundred dollars on anything! For this week I used the app PicFrame, and I kind of like it. I can create the collages straight on my phone using pictures from Instagram and my regular iPhone camera. We'll see if I continuer to like it...

|| New shelving in our kitchen! I'm not done organizing it though... ||

|| Roasted garlic, goat cheese, and crackers...man, did our farts smell like straight up garlic. ||

|| BEST CHOCOLATE EVER. Holy cow. When I get a salty chunk? I die. ||

|| A new teapot for my Christmas present! I have the best friends ever!||

|| New tattoo, as you saw already. ||

|| Butternut squash. ♥ ||

|| Quesooooo! ||

|| New ring I scored...I love it! ||

Sometimes...

2012-01-22T09:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes...

It's hard for me to admit defeat. I like to do things well, so I don't like admit when I don't do something well.

I'm reminded of how much I love the way I was raised every time I find a good deal on something. I was always taught to shop around and pay attention to prices!

I feel self-conscious when I have healing tattoos and people ask to look at them. Seriously. They look insanely disgusting and if no one has seen a healing tattoo before they're always kind of taken aback, as if my tattoo will look that bad forever.

I am mildly dishonest when I say I want to be a stay at home mom. Between Vince and I, he would definitely be the better and more sane parent to stay home. I would miss working too much! Vince, on the other hand, is a way more patient and 'go with the flow' type.

I can't imagine a world without good foods. It's scary to think how back in the day during wars people just simply ran out of certain foods like butter or fruit. I take advantage of it daily, but at times when I'm walking through the store I think, 'Man, it would be a sad thing if some day we weren't able to buy [insert delicious thing here].'

I'm surprised that I still listen to Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way'. When I am working out, the ONLY thing to get me through it is to listen to that song, frequently on repeat. I don't like any of her other songs, but this one just sends me flying! The other day in spin class when I was about to die (or throw up), it came on insanely loud in a remix and I thought, 'Yaaaaa. Get some!' and finished class like a badass.

Me, tired after spin class, more cardio, and weight lifting.

I get a little too easily wrapped up in anything new that I do. When I learn something new, like crocheting, cooking a certain type of muffin, or rearranging my house, it's all I can focus on for a while. It's hard to get me pulled into something else. And when that does happen? I get wrapped up in something new!

I indulge in guilty pleasures like drinking a Pepsi when I wake up really early in the morning. I typically try to keep away from soda, but on mornings that I wake up really early I treat myself to one. Don't judge. If you compare it to a small frilly drink from Starbuck's or a morning donut, there's less sugar!

I wish all things in life were as wonderful as good good days. You know, those days that you wake up and immediately feel at peace and that continues all day, even when something that normally wouldn't be good comes up? Those are pretty wonderful.

Today I linked up with Young People in Love after seeing it on To Make Love Stay.
Fill this out in the comments or do this on your blog and tell me you did it! I liked this one and would be curious to see your answers!

It's about time...

2012-01-21T14:13:00.001-07:00

Last year I posted about some goals I wanted to achieve, so I'm going to do a little review to see if I completed my goals, along with a list of new goals. It seems crazy that I wrote these goals just last year, I barely remember them! Here's a brief overview of last years:

My number one goal for the year is to open an Etsy shop.

Achieved But then I decided it wasn't a good time to have my shop open and promptly shut it down...

Get my craft room set up.

Achieved We ended up moving out of that house though so I'm back to no craft room. It was perfectly set up though!

Be a better mamma to Roxanne.

Not Achieved I was better with her in 2011 than 2010, but I still feel like I didn't give 100%.

Make more time for family and go on dates with my little brother Will!

Achieved I definitely made more time with my family. We get together pretty frequently for dinner and to hangout.

Don't eat dinner in front of the TV.

Not Achieved Vince and I definitely eat in front of the TV still even though we don't have cable! Damn that Netflix.

Sew something at least once a week.

Not Achieved Even though I didn't sew something every week, I did make a LOT of things this year that I was excited about.

Write more often.

Not Achieved I feel like I wrote more in 2011 than 2010, but I didn't write 5 days a week like I intended.

So, three out of seven. Not bad? Aww, who am I kidding, that's kind of crappy. At least I achieved some of the goals!

I've come up with some new goals, but not because of the new year. It's because of a new life! A lot of changes have come about with me quitting my job, which leaves me with a lot of opportunities to do what I've wanted to do for a long time. So with that, here are some new ideas that are all the same theme:

Take a picture of all the food I waste. I've watched a lot of documentaries about how much we waste, more recently Dive (which I highly recommend...it's instantly on Netflix!) and it's made me pay even more attention to my food waste. I may not be able to end world hunger, but I can be in control of what I consume and what I throw away. I'll probably do a little collage of the pictures once every few weeks so that I embarrass myself with how much I throw out (which will hopefully prevent me from wasting stuff in the first place), but also to remind each of you that you should be paying attention to how much food you throw away.

Eat more whole and healthy foods. Sometimes it's so insanely hard to buy organic, especially in a town like Flagstaff. We have ONE health food store and it's expensive. It's a lot easier for me to buy a bag of tater tots for $3 and have that last a few meals than it is to pay $3 for a single organic bell pepper that isn't very filling! I know that buying organic is healthier for me, though, and I feel so much better when I eat it. Also, the flavor of organic versus non-organic? Waaaaay different. I make a potato soup that calls for celery and when I put it in, I usually can't taste it. (Which I like because I don't like the taste of celery unless it's with peanut butter.) Last week when I made it with organic celery, it was more like I was eating celery soup, it was SUCH a strong flavor. Now that I know this, I can add a lot less celery to my soup!

Join/visit the local CSA. Ok. So I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I live 2 blocks from the CSA here in town, if that even, AND I'VE NEVER BEEN THERE. I've always wanted to go and talk to the lady that runs it, but for some reason I am so so so intimidated. Why do I feel like that? Maybe I'm not cool enough to be in there because I like things like tater tots? Whatever reason I may have (that I'm not even aware of) I need to get over it and go there. Not everything is organic, but it's local, which I kind of care about more about than being organic. And this is from their website: 'Each week, FCSA participants receive a set share of seasonally available vegetables harvested the day of delivery'. Say whaaaat?!

All the food I got from Bountiful Baskets for $15. The organic basket is only $25!

Sign up with Bountiful Baskets again. I posted about this before and how much I loved it. The pick-up day was perfect for me, and then they switched it to a time that was impossible for me to get out of work, and VInce's schedule didn't work with it either. I was SOOOO sad about it, I seriously loved it! I am now able to pick it up on the assigned day, so I'm happy. It only happens once every two weeks, not every week like I thought, so this will be a good thing to pair up with the CSA. They offer organic baskets for only $10 more, which is still ridiculously cheaper than going to the aforementioned health food store.

Eat less meat. In addition to organic, I'm only eating the 'free-range, grass-fed, etc' meats, which means more expensive. Vince has agreed that we don't need to eat meat with every meal, so I think this will be an easy thing to cut back on.

Spinach, tomato + red onion quesos I made for dinner last night and lunch today! Recipe to come...
So in case you couldn't tell, food is a huge thing in my life, considering ALL of my goals revolve around it. At the same time, everything I want to achieve aside from food is based around that. If I want my workouts to go better? I better eat well. If I want to focus in class? I better eat well. If I want to start waking up super early? I better eat well. Food is such an important thing and Americans kind of suck at realizing it's importance!

As a side note, I think I'm going to write an 'organic disclaimer' soon. For some reason, I hate reading recipes on people's blogs that tell you to use 'organic milk' or 'organic yellow squash'. I feel like they are trying to make themselves sound better than everyone else, but I'm sure with most people, that's not really the case! I don't want to make myself sound better or act like it's a bad thing to not use organic foods. If you don't want to or you simply can't afford it, that's fine! I think eating any fresh food is WAY healthier than eating something canned or processed!

Also, I don't plan on only eating healthy or organic foods. If I go out or to a friends house, I will not concern myself with whether it's organic or not. I don't want this to prevent me from doing things I normally do that I would miss out on. This is about making my life better, not hindering it! In fact, as I wrote this post, I even treated myself to a Dr Pepper.

So...there you have it! Some VERY ambitious food goals. I've stuck to the whole 'organic + healthy' eating since I decided I wanted to do it (maybe the 2nd or 3rd of January?) and I hope I can continue to stick to it!

Whoooo are you? Who, who? Who, who?

2012-01-20T15:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes blogging is weird. I mean, yesterday, 164 individual people have looked at my blog and today there's been almost 100, and I haven't even posted anything new! (Until now...) I don't even communicate with 164 people on a daily basis, or even regularly on a monthly basis! I only have 34 people who publicly follow my blog, so who are you guys? I really want to know! (How many references of The Who can I possibly put in one post?)

I know a lot of people who read my blog are old friends on Facebook. It's funny because I'll sometimes run into them (you!) out in the real world and we'll say hi to each other. I don't know much about them aside from the posts on Facebook, most of which I don't read or I get sucked into it for hours, so I'm usually interested in everything they tell me because I probably didn't know they had a new baby or what classes they are taking. But they? They act like they don't know what I'm talking about, but I know they do, I can see it in their faces!

It's always funny, because most of the time these people don't want to admit they read my blog. Why? I don't know. All I know is our conversation would go a lot easier though if they just said, 'Ya, I read it on your blog!' instead of listening to me re-hash a story that they know the ending to.

Sometime I also think old friends don't admit to reading my blog because they didn't actually like me in high school and now it's 'awkward'. They may like me now because they actually know me, not just rumors about me, but they aren't sure of how to bring up something I talk about on here. Let me just say this: there are a few, a very few people, that I absolutely still dislike from high school(honestly, only one girl comes to mind!), and everyone else I've forgotten about. I mean, I haven't forgotten about the people, just the bad things that may have happened between us.

I have had so many people (way more than I ever thought I would) email me or message me on Facebook saying how different I was in high school and how much they like me now and love reading my blog. Or they say they never knew 'x' about me, but they completely relate and wish they had someone to talk to about it sooner. It's always awesome when that happens. In fact, the way Veronica (ya know, my bridesmaid?) and I became friends again is because she started reading my blog! She always thought I hated her, and I always thought she hated me! But guess what world? That wasn't true.

There are some people I communicate with in Facebook and in real life that I wouldn't be in contact with if it weren't for this blog. I think this is a great space for me to put myself out there and for others to learn about me. I understand how it could be a bad thing, but for me, I think it's great. I've learned a lot about myself and others, and have met so many great online and real-world friends!

So, here's a request of you, my lovely readers: let me know who you are. Leave me a comment or email me (iffyinklings@gmail.com), even if we didn't like each other when we were younger. We can always be friends now! Or, you can keep reading this here blog in silence, I'm still happy with that. ♥

Because it seems weird to write a post and not have a picture (I don't know why I feel like that; a post on my blog without a picture seems incomplete!) here's a sneak peek at my new tattoos! I plan on doing a post soon that showcases ALL of my tattoos in one place, as well as some tips. After getting tattooed for 20+ hours I feel like I have a little bit of wisdom!

Really? You didn't see it?

2012-01-19T11:45:00.000-07:00

I'm linking up again today with Brown Eyed Bell(e) and her Thankful Thursday link-up.

What am I thankful for? I'm thankful that I am a great excuse to give to guys that hit on me: I'm married! Here's a short story from my first day of class.

Guy in class after talking about the tattoo on my arm: So, what does the tattoo on your finger mean?

Me: It's for my husband, his name is Vince.

Him: Your husband?

Me: Ya. That's also why, ya know, I'm wearing a wedding ring?

Him: Oh. Huh, ya. I see that now.

Me in my head: Haaaaaaahahahahahaah. Awkward. How did he see the tattoo and not the ring?

Humpty-Dumpty 1.18.12

2012-01-18T00:01:00.000-07:00

From left to right.
||1|| I didn't really know kiwi was a winter fruit, but I guess it is! (It is, right?)
||2|| Gluten free oats + ground flax seed + strawberries + sprouts + blueberries + yogurt + milk = gross. DON'T DO IT. Though it may look like it should be good, it's nasty. It was either the oats or flax that made it bad...
||3|| So I thought my living room would be clean considering I've had 5 days off, but it's the exact opposite.
||4|| I'm in the middle of re-doing a lot of stuff in the kitchen, so everything is out of place in there as well. My whole house is a wreck!
||5|| The side of my new fridge!
||6|| Alyla in the new outfit I bought her from the thrift store for $1.75! She'd look like a boy in it if it weren't for the pigtail sticking straight out of her head!
||7|| Alyla in her pjs that have syrup all over them, which is why I needed to buy the previous outfit!
||8|| Replacement camera and lenses!
||9|| The mirror in a bathroom at a store I went to recently. The mirror wasn't high enough to even see my face in it!
||10|| I have a feeling this semester will be WAY full of notes.
||11|| Gluten free mac and cheese that is similar to Easy-Mac! It's kind of pricey ($2.39 for one) but it's nice to have around sometimes for the convenience! It's super tasty, too.

The Doom That Looms

2012-01-17T14:02:00.000-07:00

Why is there always that nagging feeling that shit's about to blow up when everything is going perfectly? Things are going insanely smoothly in my life, but there's still that gross feeling always hovering. Does anyone else feel that way when things are right?

I mean, my life isn't perfect per se, but it's exactly what I want it to be. I still bicker with my husband, I still have bills to pay, and my dishes still don't clean themselves. But my life is moving forward in so many new and exciting ways that I never thought would happen but always wanted to happen and now it's like BOOM. Stuff is happening lady! You asked for it and your wish was granted!

Thursday was my last full-time day at work.
I start school full-time on Tuesday.
I have 16 days off work before I start part-time.
I got a new apartment sized fridge which means we can fit a table in our kitchen.
I have started exercising and am actually sticking with my schedule.
I have an amazing family and great friends surrounding me.
I am eating healthier and feeling good.
I am happy.

These are all things I'm energized about so why do I think something bad will happen? I have earned all of what I have, so maybe I'm just nervous about all the new changes and this is the way it's manifesting itself.

At the same time, when I look at my past I'm usually correct in thinking that something is going to happen that I don't want to happen. That's what makes life, well, life. Things happen. I've always been able to accept those unexpected changes, albeit not always gracefully, and none of them have ruined me.

I guess I need to just embrace what I have now and stop trying to worry about what might happen. It's much easier said then done, but at least if I have that goal on my mind, I can actively try to push the bad thoughts away.

Does anybody else feel like this at times? How do you deal with it?
I don't want to leave this post feeling so forlorn, so here's a picture of me smiling!

Zumba = NO Success

2012-01-16T10:50:00.000-07:00

I know you've heard about Zumba. EVERYONE and their mom is talking about how amazing Zumba is, and I was really excited to try it out. I know I'm way behind jumping on board, but I thought, better late than never.

I have like super anxiety about going to a gym and not knowing what I'm doing because I kind of like to be good at everything I do (shocker) so I checked out a beginner Zumba DVD from the library. I was excited about it, put it in the PS3 all pumped up and ready to go, and then the confusion set in.

Maybe it was just this DVD in particular, but I hated it. First, there are three people showing you the moves. The main person is a guy who speaks Spanish or Latin (?) and then a few seconds later, a lady translates it in an annoying voice. I guess it's a good idea to have him speak the language for it...wait, scratch that, it was a horrible idea for it to be in another language. It's not like he was trying to teach us his language because he was talking way fast. I think it was just in there to make it seem more authentic or something. (I feel like I'm sounding racist here and I don't know why.)

Anyways, the guy explained the first dance, and then the girl translated. (And I feel like maybe part of the time he spoke in English, too. Now I'm confusing myself and I can't watch it again because I already returned the DVD. Blah.) They showed the first dance in steps at a slow pace to get you started. Then they said, 'Now lets speed it up!' and holy heck, I could not keep up. I couldn't really do the dance slowly, let alone extremely fast. There were just so many moves to a single dance move! I mean, hands, hips, feet, neck...everything.

Maybe live classes would be better? I'm definitely not graceful when it comes to my feet, though, so it just might not be for me!

$13 Tattoos

2012-01-15T12:31:00.001-07:00

My best friend Annie got her first tattoo on Friday!

Birch Avenue Tattoo (the place I seem to frequent more and more these days) was following the old tradition of doing $13 tattoos on Friday the 13th. I was told about it last week but didn't really think about it again until I saw their Facebook reminder of it.

Annie got a musical rest symbol on her ring finger. This was her first tattoo and we were both nervous about it! She has an appointment scheduled for next month, again with Tanin, so this was a good way to break her in before a bigger one.

I also got one as well, and I'm so happy with how it turned out! It still amazes me how perfect looking a tattoo can be considering I can't even draw a straight line on paper, even if I have a stencil.

I've wanted to get the Deathly Hallows symbol from Harry Potter tattooed on me for a long time, but I have so many other planned ideas that it wasn't really on the top of my list. I realized now was a perfect time for it though because I wanted a small one! The problem was thinking of where to put it. I plan on getting my other half-sleeve done at some point as well as my upper legs, so I didn't want to get it either of those places because I didn't want to cover it up or figure it into any other tattoo. I also didn't want it on my hips/ribs/stomach because it'd be weird to have such a small thing randomly placed. So, the only place I could think of that I'd be fine with it and I'd be able to cover it easily was my elbow! I'll already be wearing sleeves long enough to cover it for nursing, so it worked out pretty well.

The picture makes it look off-centered on my elbow, but it's not!

I also have a tattoo appointment scheduled for next week to get the tops of my thighs done, and I'm ready for it now! Vince isn't completely excited about the whole thing because he likes my legs, but I'm still trying to sweet talk him into loving it. We'll have to see!

PS I got my big camera back after cracking the screen (a brand new one!) so I'll be able to take pictures of my completed half-sleeve soon!

What I plan to do with my wedding dress...

2012-01-13T09:23:00.000-07:00

A photographer friend of mine (different than th e friend who did my wedding{do I have some talented friends or what?!}) offered to do a day-after-wedding photo shoot, er...months-after-wedding...and after doing some googling some ideas, I'm stoked! I didn't have a 'real' engagement photoshoot because I needed to send invites RIGHT THEN so I just had my friend go down the road with us until we got a picture that was good to send out with the invites, so it will be nice to have photos not from the wedding.

I was searching for some unique trash the dress ideas to see if I wanted to do that, which led me to some great ideas for the future for my dress, since I'm not actually going to ruin my dress if I do a trash the dress shoot. It may have only been 40-ish dollars from a sales rack, but I am attached to it in the I married my husband in this and don't want to just get rid of it kind of way.

A lot of people cut their dress up to make things like pillows (um, not my kind of decor, white pillows?!), christening gowns (not religious), or to decorate their wedding albums (despite the fact that I LOVE scrapbooking, I want my photos to be in a simple album on black paper) but I'd prefer to keep my dress whole. There's not a whole lot of fabric to it, and it seems too wasteful! BUT I don't want to just have it hang in my closet.

So the first ongoing idea that I am SUPER happy with is to wear it every year on our anniversary for a date. My dress isn't over the top at all so I'd look slightly fancy, but not like a crazy woman trying to re-live her glory years. It's a fun way to continue wearing it and I love the idea of getting dressed up like that with my husband. If I age like my Gram (which I think/hope I will) then I'm bound to fit in my dress years from now!

Another fun idea is to have a bride's party! I'm accumulating (this doesn't feel like the proper word, but I'm too brain dead to think of anything else) more friends that are married and I think it would be a great night to all get together and talk about our husbands and our weddings...or just get drunk. Once summer comes around and a BBQ in the sun with sangria can take place, I'm definitely going to put this together. It would be fun to have people that aren't married as well and just have them wear bridesmaids dresses! It could just be a fun ladies evening in fancy dresses.

For the married ladies out there, what did you do with your wedding dress? For the non-married ladies, do you have an idea of what you want to do with your wedding dress?

P.S. Both my awesome photographer friends are on Facebook...like their pages here and here and see their amazing talent!

Humpty-Dumpty 1.11.12

2012-01-11T15:41:00.003-07:00

So, as much as I love taking pictures on my iPhone, I really miss my big camera! I cracked the screen (or Vince...we're still in a debate about who actually broke it) but luckily we had paid the $75 or so for the four (five?) year warranty! All I had to do was walk into Best Buy where they had everything on file and tell them I broke it. They looked me up in the system, and said I'd have it shipped to my door within a couple weeks fixed OR they would send me a brand new version of it if it wasn't cost worthy to fix. I'm kind of hoping for a new one, but either way, I'll have a fixed camera for free! (Well, free after the original warranty, which cost a LOT less than it would to fix my camera...) Anywho, on with the scheduled programming!

||1|| The book I am currently reading.
||2|| Perfect fish lips? I think yes.
||3|| My 10k training schedule!
||4|| Roxanne will not stay off my pillow, no matter what I do.
||5|| A big container of organic cherry tomatoes for $2.99? Four containers please!
||6|| The first coat on my newly painted wall that my friend Annie helped me with, woohoo!
||7|| I know this doesn't compare to big city traffic, but this is why I avoid Milton at rush hour.
||8|| The forest kind of looks ugly in the winter...

Last week Heather recommended I do a linky thing. I feel like no one will link up but I'll throw it out there just in case! Even if you're like Sara and do a photo-dump of regular pictures, you can still link up! It'll be open until next Wednesday when we start a new link-up!

A fly on the wall.

2012-01-09T18:52:00.000-07:00

This conversation happened a few weeks ago I was getting ready to read in bed.

Me: Do you know where my headlamp is?

Vince: No, but it's broken, remember? That thing was a piece of crap.

Me: Umm. No, it was not a piece of crap. You're a piece of crap because you broke it.

I did NOT break it! I just pulled it out of my bag, and it wasn't broken because it's cheap crappy plastic.

That was a high end $50 headlamp. Shut. Up. You broke it. It was intact when I gave it to you, and now it isn't.

Well, I can just give you your Christmas present now. I got you a new headlamp!

Really?! Is it nice like my other one? Does it have the adjustable light setting? It better, because I always have it on the dimmest setting for reading in bed or it's too bright.

This one is nicer and more expensive than your cheap plastic one, so I'm sure it does.

Seriously, mine was a super nice one, I don't know how you broke it. And really, is it adjustable lighting? If not, I'm totally going to take it back.

Crap. I forgot it at work, I'll get it for you tomorrow.

The next day.

Vince: Hey babe, you ready for your present?!

Me: Ya, let me see!

See? It's a nice one.

Ummm....seriously? That's the exact same one I had that you broke. This is just a different color. But really. It's the exact same. Oh, and look, you got it from Aspen Sports just like I did.

What? Nut uh, let me see that. *He compares it to the broken one that he found.* Huh. I guess you're right. Wait. What? I don't know what you're talking about.

I told you so: MY HEADLAMP WASN'T CRAPPY.

And he walks away with his head held low in shame.

My 'big' camera is in the shop. Sorry for the blurry picture...

Thankful Friday

2012-01-06T15:30:00.000-07:00

I'm thankful for good good good days like today. It's halfway over, but I haven't felt so happy and clear headed in weeks!

I woke up around 9:45 and stretched before getting up. Since I've been exercising a lot recently, it felt like the best stretch in the entire world!

I had gotten up a little bit before Vince left for a bike ride to Sedona, just in time to kiss him as he left.

I ate a little snack and then did the 30 Day Shred video. Today was supposed to be my day off from running according to my schedule, but I felt like I wanted to do something so I took advantage of it.

Roxanne likes to lay on my yoga mat when I pull it out, getting her dirty paws all over it!

Vince was supposed to take Roxanne on his bike ride, but the person he was driving with didn't want dogs in his car. Lame! So instead, I decided to go on a couple mile hike with her. There is nothing more happy than a dog running free in snow covered woods!

It makes me so incredibly good to see my dog run through the woods, it's her most favorite thing n the world. I feel bad that we don't take her out every day!

My shoes got super muddy...I wish I hadn't worn my nice running shoes!

We ran into a few dogs and I was SO proud of how Roxanne reacted. I'm usually stressed out when she comes upon other dogs, which she picks up on, but I was on such a happy high that I wasn't stressed!

After hiking, we came home and she immediately hit the bed while I made a snack of steak, cauliflower, carrots and onions over quinoa. YES, that's a snack. Now that I'm exercising so much I just eat, eat, eat! I'm definitely craving healthy food, though, which is good!

Now I'm sitting on the couch blogging while Law & Order: SVU plays in the background. After I'm done here I'm going to finish cleaning the house a bit before I FINALLY send off Christmas presents for some family!

I linked up late...but at least I linked up!

Humpty-Dumpty 1.4.12...er...1.5.12

2012-01-05T16:00:00.001-07:00

I'm late...I'm late...I'm late for an important date! Woops. I forgot to post this yesterday.

||1|| Salad for lunch!

||2|| Roxanne and the stuffed animal skunk that my Grandma Jenkins sent her.

||3|| A step in the project I did this year for Christmas presents...more info to come!

||4|| I'm now addicted, despite the fact that I hated the first few bites.

||5|| Cauliflower, steak, and zuchinni over quinoa...my new favorite love!

||6|| Vince and Roxi on our walk through campus the other night.

||7|| I watched my best friend Annie jump into a frozen lake on New Year's Day. CRAZY!

||8|| Mini Cheesecakes before they hit the oven!

||9|| Finished cheesecake with strawberries on top!

||10|| We get a new apartment sized fridge on Tuesday which means I've have like 3 more square feet in my house. I've got the best landlord!

Clinicals: The Nursing Home

2012-01-03T11:09:00.000-07:00

One of the requirements to enter the nursing program is to have a CNA license, so I took the Certified Nursing Assistant class this semester. As part of the class, we have to do 20 hours of clinicals (aka training) at a nursing and a hospital, with a 40 hours total. We did two 10 hour days on weekends a few weeks apart. This post is about my weekend at the nursing home, and later I will post about the hospital.

The first place I went was the nursing home. Honestly, I was dreading it. My teacher worked in a nursing home for a few decades before she became a teacher and was always ranting and raving about geriatrics. Every time she would say, 'Oh, they are just so cute, it warms my heart!' I'd want to kick myself. How could old people be cute in the sense that you'd want to be surrounded by them all the time?! Sure, when I see a little old man holding a little old ladies hand, it melts my heart because it's so darling, but working with them all the time? Didn't sound very fun to me.

Right off the bat the weekend started out rough. At a nursing home it's basically just CNAs that work there and do everything. There are a couple nurses and physical therapists and whatnot, but they don't really interact with the residents like CNAs do. Well, the CNAs that were working the 2 days we were there did not want us AT ALL. We were supposed to be paired up with them one-on-one and shadow them the first day to learn everything, but they ignored us the whole time and talked about personal stuff. Finally I jumped in and said, 'Just tell me what you need and I'll figure it out. I'm here to learn.' So she told me what she normally does and said I could do it if I want. She said it laughing and thinking I couldn't do anything but I figured everything out on my own because it's basically common sense. Honestly, that's how I like working anyways!

As the day went on and I found my energy after waking up at 4:30 am, I realized it wasn't as bad as I thought. The 'little old people' were super sweet and some of them were SO funny. One lady would just sit there speaking in Navajo and laugh at you! On the second day there was a nice CNA from another hall (so I didn't work with her) that was passing thru and told us some of the things she says. One of the tings she said that we should pay her to see her naked butt! It was busier than I thought it would be because everyone needed something all the time. Sometimes it would be a bathroom, and other times it would be someone escaping out the back door!

It was also fun having one-on-one time like when we gave showers. Sometimes they would just tell you stories while you cleaned them. A couple people were in their 90s! I can't imagine living in the early 1900s and being around with all the changes that brought us to today. It was also cute because after showers, all the ladies would tell you to brush their hair and 'push really really hard'. I felt like I would hurt them, but they kept saying, 'Harder please!'

Having that 'bond' with the resident though was super important, or I would not have liked the rest of the stuff I was doing. When I wasn't helping residents with 'regular problems', I was changing dirty briefs (diapers), wiping bums, walking 40+ people to and from the dining hall, doing bed pans, and changing beds. Mainly lots and lots and lots of brief changing.

One thing that was hard was seeing how sad some family members were. A wife of a resident came in and her husband needed to be in the assisted feeding room because he couldn't feed himself. I saw her look around the room and I could tell she was comparing her husband to the rest of the people in there. Some of them were just totally 'gone' and didn't talk or anything and some of them were mentally handicap. Her husband had just gone into retirement after having a respectable career but broke his hip and went downhill after that. I knew she was thinking, 'My husband has to be in a room with people like this?' and I just felt how sad she was about it. I started talking to her and at first she didn't want to talk, but after a while though she became much more calm and distracted and was really into our conversation. It's moments like this when I help someone that really makes me happy.

It's definitely not something I could do for a long time, though. I could see myself working in a nursing home for a day or two a week while I get through the nursing program, but I wouldn't want to be a CNA or nurse there. It's just too calm of a place for me. I thrive in an extremely busy and stressful environment, and getting people to and from BINGO just isn't too stressful! The only stress I could see happening is dealing with rude coworkers!

So there you have it, my experience 'working' in a nursing home! Keep an eye out for my hospital experience.

Year in Review...Somewhat

2011-12-31T16:46:00.000-07:00

There are many many people who are doing a '2011 in Review' type of post and they write about various things they've done and accomplished and OH MY GOD. Just the though of doing one literally makes my chest tighten. That sounds like the most un-fun and stressful thing I could possibly do to myself. I mean, the amount of work my brain would have to do! So instead I'm going to borrow from Dooce and post some links from my blog from the past year.

I've gained new readers since the beginning of the year, so some of you may not have read them. And if you're like me? You'll be able to read the posts again and not remember if you read them in the first place because your memory is so terrible. If I didn't know I posted these, I wouldn't believe I wrote some of these things because I've already forgotten them!

JANUARY || I found my life goal!

I'm going to be a nurse!

FEBRUARY || I constantly wanted to kill Vince and I finally got around to writing about my niece's birth.

Next time, LISTEN TO TE WOMAN.

"We have torn up soda/beer cans, eaten shoe laces, the couch is torn apart, the carpet is soaked with pee, tin foil is scattered, paper is ripped to shreds, plants are eaten, packaging is everywhere, the expensive blinds are chewed and my expensive gluten free 'Oreos' were eaten by someone other than me. All because you thought [the dog] was 'so cute'."

Dear Alyla: A Letter To My Niece

"After finding out that your mom was pregnant, I was worried. I was worried if she would be able to take care of you, what kind of mother she would be, if she would stay sober... In that moment that I was crying, every worry vanished because now I know she is capable of being a great mother to you, Alyla."

MARCH || I pondered about my future kids.

Future Kids: Will I Like Them?

"There's a lot of kids in my life, wether it's at work, the grocery store, friends kids, etc. Some of them are ASSHOLES. Seriously, I feel like tripping them and laughing as they fall because they totally SUCK."

APRIL || This was just a silly feel-good month.

Warby Parker 'Photoshoot'

"I was pretty confident that NONE of [the glasses] would look good on me, and I was pretty much right. So instead of using this opportunity to buy a new pair of glasses, I used it as an excuse for a time-wasting photoshoot. Here are the results:"

Bras.

"Why do I hate bra shopping so much? Because I have a big torso and small boobs. I really don't mind the big torso or the small boobs, except the fact that there are maaaaaybe three size 36A bras in an entire store."

MAY || We took a WONDERFUL trip to California and nursed our wounded dog back to health.
Californ-i-a Part 1 Californ-i-a Part 2
"We left Friday morning around 10, after a late start. This was our first big trip in the Subaru and we were pretty excited! Not so excited to wake up at 7am though, like we were planning."

Guess how much I love you? 40 bags of tater tots worth.
"Well, Roxanne, I loved you $120 worth today TO GET A NAIL TRIMMED. Granted, that nail was exposing a sensitive nerve ending, but still, one hundred and twenty dollars. Do you know how many tater tots I could eat with that kind of money?"

JUNE || We decided to move back to our old place and took a trip to Colorado...which reminds me that I haven't finished posting about that trip!

We're moving!

"The reason we moved into our current house was because I wanted more space. I wanted a room to do crafts in, Vince wanted space to put his bikes, and we also wanted to live close to the forest for Roxanne. Now that we have all of that, I'm not satisfied with it. I'm extremely happy that we took the opportunity to move, because now I have seen the grass on the other side."

Telluride Part 1 Telluride Part 2 Telluride Part 3

"[A lady] told us about this dirt road that would lead us to camping. What she lacked to tell us that it was at the tippy top of a small mountain and to get there you had to go on the most terrifying road ever. It was completely a one lane road and ON THE EDGE OF A CLIFF most of the way up. If someone were to come down, there is no way we could get past; one of use would have to back up the whole way!"

JULY || I ventured into fiction writing and Vince and I got engaged!

What I Didn't See

"Last week the nurse called to tell me my mother passed away. I never thought I would feel such a deep sense of loss. I definitely didn’t expect to feel like I missed out on something incredible, like I could have made the relationship with my mother better. I felt like I was the one who should have been taking care of her this whole time, like I should have been there for her despite her negativity and hatred towards me."

I'm gettin' me a husband!

"You read that correctly, I’m getting married! After wanting to be engaged for so long, I am now finally able to call Vince my fiancé! Agh! I’m so excited. I won’t be able to call him my fiancé for very long though, because we will be married in SEVEN WEEKS. Ya, no time at all! And no, I am NOT pregnant."

AUGUST || I learned that some stress could be good stress, and some stress not so good.

Drunk Drivers

"If Ben had killed another person instead of himself that night he chose to drink and drive, would I still feel the same way about him? Would I still miss him as much? Would I still think about him daily, wondering where Life would have placed him today? Would I still see him as a smart and respectable person. I'm not sure, and I try not to think too much about it and it tends to hurt because I have a hunch that I would, in fact, see things differently."

S.T.R.E.S.S.E.D For Real

"It's been a healthy stress though. It's not one that's keeping me up at night, or one that makes me eat tub after tub of ice cream. It's a good one that makes me realize that life is upon me. It feels like up until this point I was just...here. I wasn't doing anything spectacular with my life, nothing life changing. I was getting scared that I'd be like this forever."

SEPTEMBER || I truly fell in love with excising and I got married but was too busy to write about it.

Run you little heart out.

"Now that I am in my routine though, it's getting a little too easy which is CRAZY. That means I actually have to push myself even more and go even more distance which is just baffling to me because I am not a runner. Maybe I'm just in denial though because I'm actually stoked when I find time to run. Can you believe I'm stoked about my EYEBALLS sweating?"

OCTOBER || I was able to enjoy that aftermath of my wedding and realized that the life I chose for myself is going exactly where I want it to be headed.

Video montage from the wedding.

"Vince's dad Dave sent us a video of the pictures that he and his wife Amy took at the wedding. Iabsolutely love it and totally cried when I watched it, and then cried again when I re-watched it today and then cried again when I uploaded it onto YouTube. It's just so great!"

I Was Born to Do This

"When I sit down to study, I'm actually excited about it. Ya, it's hard to learn SO much information in so little time, but I am so in love with it. It's like a game to me to see how much I can learn about it and it makes me so antsy to start the actual nursing program."

NOVEMBER || I accepted myself for who I am, finally.

Believe it.

"I've never really had body issues like a lot of women have and I am SO grateful for that. I don't think I have the perfect body in any way, body things just never seemed to worry me. I did have 3 things that I was somewhat self conscious about until recently, though, that just seem silly to me now."

DECEMBER || I discovered an ooey-gooey cinnamon roll recipe and started some new family traditions.

Food Love: Gluten Free Cinnamon Rolls

"I found a recipe at The Baking Beauties, and it is BY FAR the best baked gluten free food I have ever had and tastes exactly like 'regular' cinnamon rolls. They are so amazing that the first day I ate them, I ate three, the second day I ate two, and the third day I ate three. Yes, I ate the whole 8x8 pan by myself in three days and I don't regret it one bit."

Traditions

"I've never really been into Christmas before this year. I've never cared about decorating or hanging lights or anything like that. Now that my grandparents are gone and most of the traditional things I do every year at Christmas aren't happening, I'm kind of freaking out! The other day, Vince made a comment about how he's happy I'm so festive this year and asked me what changed, and I just started bawling saying, 'My grandparents are heeeeerrrreeeee.'"

So there you have it, a little review of the past year! Now I'm off to finish making some mini cheesecakes, some of which have ginger snap cookie crust and some have chocolate cookie crust, to prepare for a New Year's party we're going to tonight. They're going to be deeeee-lish!

Tibetan Sky Burial

2011-12-30T11:44:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I came across this youtube channel, Order of the Good Death. She has 4 episodes out right now, and even though I knew the answers to most of the questions, I love watching it! They're only about 5 minutes each and she is such a sweet lady and is pretty funny. She definitely puts a good face on death!

One thing I learned from her most recent episode is the Tibetan Sky Burial. As she explains in the video, Tibet is high in the mountain, so the ground it typically too hard to dig into, or is just too rocky. So what they do is bring bodies to the top of a mountain and leave it there to decompose out in the open, or more than likely, a predatory bird will eat it. they also don't do many cremations because there isn't enough wood around.

If I could choose any way to have my body taken care of after death, this would SO be my choice. How beautiful is it to go back into nature like that?! I love it.

I wonder if this causes any problems with bird populations. If there haven't been many deaths recently, do the birds starve to death?

Humpty-Dumpty 12.28.11

2011-12-28T22:04:00.000-07:00

From left to right...

||1|| Cuties!

||2|| Sleeping on my pillow...AGAIN. I'm going to kill her.

||3|| My niece is so close to walking!

||4|| Guess who cleaned her bathroom?!

||5|| I got a new shirt! Thank you sales rack at Rue 21.

||6|| My husband made bacon wrapped chicken with brown sugar. Yes, it was as amazing as it sounds.

||7|| Vince and I got Christmas sweaters from his white elephant party at work. Score!

||8|| Budgeting...I secretly LOVE it!

||9|| Shirts drying after I finally did laundry.

||10|| Gin + Tonic with lime + strawberry. Yummy!

||11|| Christmas gift I need to send out still!

||12|| V + I in our Christmas sweaters on Christmas. ♥

Hey there, good lookin'.

2011-12-26T16:16:00.000-07:00

As some of you have noticed, my blog hasn't had much 'substance' recently, just a bunch of 'filler'! It's because I've been in survivor mode and I didn't even realize it. The whole semester I was telling myself, 'Man, doing school and work is so easy! I don't know why people think otherwise!' And I'm glad I was a little delusional because it helped get me through the semester. Now that the semester is over? I realize how many things have been put on hold!

Looking back, I don't remember the last time I picked up a camera that wasn't my phone, or the last time I cleaned my bathtub. I can say with 99% confidence that I in fact haven't cleaned my bathroom (aside from the toilet!) in the past 3 months. My grandmother would cringe if she heard that! Am I embarrassed about that? Sure. Do I feel guilty? Hell no. I was legitimately busy! The only downside is that now I'm paying for it and have to deep clean my house over winter break!

This past semester has been a life changer in a sorts because it's made me realize what things are important in my life and what things aren't. All the time I used to spend online? Useless. Cooking food every night with my husband? Lovely. I've only had time for the important things and everything else has slipped to the side, so it's been nice to have a good focus.

Hopefully with all the upcoming changes in my life I will be able to blog more, but maybe I will find this is one of the pointless things? I'm guessing not because it's truly an enjoyable thing or I definitely wouldn't do it! Thanks for sticking around through my pointless posts, and hopefully I will be posting some more interesting things. I've had a LOT of thoughts I want to get down on 'paper' about clinicals, school, and my wedding, so hopefully I will have the urge to write about them soon! Right now it's just nice to sit on my couch with nothing I have to do.

Traditions

2011-12-24T15:38:00.001-07:00

I've never really been into Christmas before this year. I've never cared about decorating or hanging lights or anything like that. Now that my grandparents are gone and most of the traditional things I do every year at Christmas aren't happening, I'm kind of freaking out! The other day, Vince made a comment about how he's happy I'm so festive this year and asked me what changed, and I just started bawling saying, 'My grandparents are heeeeerrrreeeee.'

As much as I like going against the stream, I really love traditions! I feel like traditions are so important in families and it creates and incredible bond. I know the holiday season is supposed to be about Jesus and whatnot, but I don't believe in him; I believe in love, and family, and roots. I want my children and grandchildren to know that that is what the holiday season is about.

So here are a few that I want to continue or start up this year. Once we have kids I will probably add many more because that's the kind of person I am, but this is it for now!

Stockings

Stockings I made on our 'fireplace'...I still need to make Roxanne's!
When a new edition comes into the Packard family, my grandma has a tradition: she makes a baby blanket for them if they are a baby and a stocking for Christmas, whether they are born in or married in. Well, this year she didn't have time to make Vince a stocking before she left for her mission in Peru!

I've really been having a tough time this year not having my grandparents around for the first time ever, so I've taken it upon myself to be the 'new grandma' for mine and Vince's future family. I will now be the grandma that makes a new stocking and baby blanket for our future family.

My grandma uses the same 'basic' pattern (it's not very basic though, it's quite intricate!) for every stocking, she just uses different fabric. I've decided to not use the same pattern, and to have each family members stocking be completely different. I picked out my pattern this year, as did Vince, and I finished both of them yesterday and today...just in time for Christmas!

Vince wanted to keep his simple, so that he could add something like a patch to it every year. I think it's a great idea, just think that the first few years are going to be a little plain!

Ornaments

A tradition that I started this year was buying an ornament for us each year. Sometimes it will be matching ones for each of us like this year, and other years it might just be one for the both of us. I was SO against this idea before and I'm not quite sure why! Maybe when I pictured ornaments I was thinking of the cheesy glass ball ones that say 'Christmas 2011!' that I don't really like because they're pretty boring, but once I saw these at JoAnne's for 70% off, I knew I wanted to do this tradition.

Food
Every Christmas Eve, my family has gathered at my grandparents house for an amazing meal before we head out to go Christmas Caroling. I wrote about caroling last year, and even though I love to hate it, I'm really going to miss it this year! It was something that brought us together and brought SO many families to tears because they were so happy to see us.

What I will continue is the food. I don't think I've ever gone a Christmas Eve without eating potato soup and clam chowder. There's always an abundance of it and I would just eat and eat and eat it until I surely thought I was going to explode. Then I'd sit for a minute and go back for more! It's my absolute favorite meal of all time, so I'm happy stickin' with it.

Presents

After caroling, we were allowed to open one present. That was sort of our 'prize' for sticking it out through the couple hours of caroling. Once Vince and I have kids we'll have to think of something to do so that the kids can 'earn' a present on Christmas Eve.

Giving

In the past, the aunts and uncles would draw names for what family they were going to give gifts to. This year, we decided to give to charities instead of to each other. (This was actually Vince's idea!) I love that idea and I feel SO much better about it instead of sending a family member something they don't need! Vince and I gave to Sharon Manor, a battered women and children center. We were both so excited about everything we gave to them and it was so much easier to spend money on a cause like that. We bought a bunch of random goodies like wallets, hats, gloves, jewelry, gift cards, etc. I think this will become even more important when we have kids to be able to share this with them and teach them why it's important to give.

Treats
On Thanksgiving I brought some goodies up to the emergency department at the hospital. I asked the nurse at the front if I was allowed to give them stuff and after replying that they were not poisoned, she said yes! She asked if I was a previous patient, and I said no. She then asked if I knew someone who was in the ER. Again, I replied with, Nope! I told her I just wanted to bring them stuff, and she was so happy and surprised by that! So for Christmas I'm going to bring some treats up there again.

A Christmas Story
Whenever I'm at my mom's for Christmas, she refuses to change the channel from A Christmas Story, which plays for 24 whole hours. Drives me crazy! Since we don't have cable, I plan on buying the DVD (though probably not this year) so that we can have it playing in the background. Maybe it's on Netflix...

Ok, so now that I've written a book, do you guys have any traditions?

Thankful for art!

2011-12-22T15:45:00.001-07:00

I'm thankful for people in my town being creative! I went to coffee with a friend before my tattoo this weekend and we both fell in love with the new art that's been put up recently. It's something that's been on the rise in downtown over the past few years (although it's probably been around for a long time and I only started noticing it then!) and it's so fun to walk down the alleys and see new art.

I'm also thankful that I am a creative person. I'm quitting my full-time job in January to work part-time (in case you didn't catch that the other 5,000 times I've said it!) and I'm on a very limited budget right now. I've been making a lot of things for Christmas and I've made them relatively cheap but of high quality! I'm very excited and will post some more pictures after Christmas. Some people say they aren't creative, but I am SO thankful I can call myself creative!

The scarf I made for Vince with a handy iPod pocket built in at his request.

Humpty-Dumpty 12.21.11

2011-12-21T11:29:00.001-07:00

From left to right.
||1|| Homemade fudge with sprinkles! I brought some to my work and Vince is bring some to his work tomorrow. I also made butterscotch fudge and peanut butter fudge with chocolate drizzles. ♥
||2|| My ceiling is leaking. It's deteriorating.
||3|| Dinner of champions: hot dogs...with no bun.
||4|| My nice Alyla!
||5|| Salads are the best made at home!
||6|| Sherpa-Derpa.
||7|| My tattoo is FINISHED.
||8|| The new plant I'm 'babysitting' from my grandparents that is now hanging in our bedroom.
||9|| Wine.
||10|| Beautiful snowy downtown! I love winter sometimes.
||11|| Dinnnerrrrr.
||12|| New gloves!

Stumblinggggg....and not in the drunk way.

2011-12-19T19:58:00.001-07:00

This post is brought to you, in part, by my addiction to StumbleUpon. Don't even try it once, kids, or you'll be hooked.

I love my super colorful tattoo, but this definitely makes me want some black ones! (Vince questions of these ones are real or not because the black is too black. Any thoughts?)

I want to make this, but make it a little bigger and use it as a change purse instead. SUCH an easy tutorial.

I had to put this in for Sara, this is so awesome...Star Wars snowflakes!

I love anything Banksy after seeing Exit Through The Gift Shop (favorite movie ever, seriously) and would love to see his art in person!

I had to put this one in here as well for my friend Veronica. So cute!

I love how simple this tutorial is as well! I wouldn't do a Wall-E one, but it would be fun to do a bike one or something for Vince.

25 Cartoons You Never Knew Were Voices By Celebrities. Michael Cera as Brother Bear?! Mind=Blown

Analytics

2011-12-18T20:54:00.000-07:00

The main thing I love about Google Analytics is that it tells you the keywords that brought people to your blog. I check my analytics every few weeks when I remember them, and it's always so funny to read through them. I've been meaning to post some of them for a loooong time but haven't gotten around to it, but after seeing Sara's, I thought it was about time! Here are some of the highlights, starting with the most searches:

Dinosaur Skin

Barefoot in the snow

Onesie with bumflap, Why onesies have butt flaps, Onesie butt flap pattern, etc. So many searches related to onesies!

Sugar makes me crazy

Carrot juice death

Dude sweet tatttoos

Fat giantess/teen giantess/giantess splash

Image of house crammed by people

Onesie porn (Um, seriously?!)

Sleeping guy

Sweaty

Where should I put my handbag when I am in a restaurant (As if I know that kind of etiquette...)

Years from now, I wont remember every friday night, or the things, that make us laugh so hard 'till our stomachs hurt, but I will always remember that you guys were the ones that I spent almost every good one with (Most of the searches I can correlate with certain blog posts, but this one? No idea!)

Who is in need of some head (Again, I don't see any correlation...!)

Do you guys have any funny keyword searches?

I love lists!

2011-12-16T20:04:00.000-07:00

This is kind of a brief update about some things in my life. None of them warrant a full post, so you get this! Think of it as an assortment goody bag - they're the best! Oh, and what do you think of the new header?!

Work My official last day is January 12th at my current job. I am so thrilled and it makes the last few weeks do-able, but at the same time, I'm nervous! This will be the first time in almost 4 years that I am not working full time, so I feel like I'll have all this time I won't know what to do with! I'm pretty sure I still won't have time because I'll be in school full time, work part time, my niece for a day, and volunteering one or two mornings a week...wait a minute...this actually sounds like I'm going to be busier! Ha! BUT, it's a busy that I am thrilled to have because I'll be doing everything that I love.

iPhone 4 I get asked a lot what I think about my new phone and I used to rant and rave and say it was the most awesome thing ever. I still think it's the most awesome thing ever, but not for $90 a month! I have the lowest plan all around and it's still quite pricey. It's extremely convenient and great, but at the same time I could do absolutely fine without it. I've heard it's pretty handy when you are in the nursing program, so I'm hoping that's true!

Snow We got a storm this week and another one is supposed to come in this weekend. This one wasn't so bad and it hasn't been bone cold, so that's nice. It's been pretty sunny when it wasn't snowing, so it seems warmer than it is with that sun hitting you!

Dog Roxanne has gotten even worse with sleeping on our bed. As SOON as I sit up, she slides behind me and lays on my pillow. And I mean just sitting up, not even getting OUT of bed! She's so fast that I don't even get to pull the covers over my pillow before she does it. I love that she loves laying on our warm pillows, but COME ON. I'm so over the dog hair. I'm thinking a baby gate might be needed for our door soon! (We took off our door for more space and we just have a pretty curtain up...)

Husband Vince is a little over work like I am, so we're trying to figure some things out for him to do. Maybe work one or two days elsewhere? Take a class at the community college? We're not quite sure, but he's gettin' ready to figure it out. Maybe now that the mountain is open and he's learning to ski he will be a little less antsy!

School Finished, and I passed with a 4.0! Next semester I'm signed up for Chemistry, Biology and Math...what am I doing to myself taking all the hard classes in one semester?! I guess that's what I get for taking all the easy classes earlier.

Friends Wait, I have friends? Ha. I've been pretty busy this semester but I've made it a point to make time for my people. Not as much as I liked, but I'm so happy when I get to hangout, even if for a bit. I have a full weekend ahead of me with a few of them, so I'm excited about that!

Tattoo I still haven't remembered to take a picture of my healed half-sleeve, just this one I posted right after. (And my goodness...that post makes me want summer again!) I was going to take one now, but I have an appointment to finish it this weekend aaaaand it's too hard to figure out right now with my dead brain. It's pretty tricky to take a full picture of the tattoo because there are so many angles! I'll take one after this weekend though for sure!

I don't like titles.

2011-12-15T15:26:00.000-07:00

About a year or so ago I was talking to my grandma about my mom and how frustrated I got sometimes. She said that sometimes I just get caught up on all the wrong things she did as a kid, and that I can't get past them. My grandma then told me how my mom used to own a thrift store and pointed out the building where it used to be, since we were driving past it. What?! I never knew that!

She said that my mom was a very creative person and that she always found a way to do what she wanted, and that's absolutely true. It made me think about all the other good things I don't know about my mom and made me realize that she is more than just the person I've created in my mind.

Since then I've focused my mind on the serenity prayer and accepted the things I cannot change about her, which has led me to be so thankful for my mother. I'm still not as close to her as I could be, but we still have time to grow. I've been able to accept that we are different in SO many and that helps tremendously, instead of just fighting it.

I was an 'AA kid' so I've spent many years of my childhood at AA meetings (which was actually super fun...what 10 year old doesn't love sneaking coffee and sugar?) so I know the serenity prayer by heart and think about it often as I've grown into an adult. I typically leave the God part off because I don't believe in Him, but I think the prayer is still something that has helped me be able to accept things throughout life, and more recently, has given me to courage to make some huge changes in my life!

Humpty-Dumpty

2011-12-14T11:00:00.001-07:00

||1|| Gin+Tonic while enjoying the lit tree

||2|| V and I on our way to dinner

||3|| Rox and I cuddling

||4|| Roxi's cute face

||5|| Snowy wonderland!

||6|| Rox enjoying the sun before the storm

||7|| Date night with the hubby!

||8|| Derrr.

||9|| Some of the gifts I picked up for charity (Rue 21 is having an awesome sale right now!)

||10|| We got a tree! More on that to come.

||11|| A drive through the luminaries!

||12|| Me in the cozy scarf I knit for Vince for Christmas which I gave to him early and then borrowed.

Another one?

2011-12-12T11:31:00.002-07:00

This is like myspace all over again, what with all these surveys! But alas, they are my guilty blogging pleasure. Thanks, Caitlin, for letting me steal it!

1. What's a nickname only your family calls you?
My sister calls me Iffy, my mom calls me Roo-Roo (my middle name is Rey), Vince calls me Munchy, and my little brother calls me Sissy. The rest of my family just calls me Steff and my Dad calls me Honey.

2. What's a weird habit of yours?
When I'm focusing in any way I stick my tongue out and when I exert any force with my body I make an 'Ugh' sound. Vince thinks both of them are the funniest things ever.

3. What's a song you secretly LOVE to blast & belt out when you're alone?
I just posted about this! Mika - Relax, Take It Easy!

4. What's one of your biggest pet peeves?
When I ask Vince about this he says I'm so OCD about so many things that too many things are a pet peeve!

5. What's one of your nervous habits?
Talking a lot and getting watery eyes! I think I get watery eyes because I make eye contact for too long and my eyes get super dry.

6. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Every few weeks Vince and I switch sides. I need to have a 'new' feeling sometimes or else I can't fall asleep! Usually when i trade sides it's after Vince has been asleep for a few hours and I can't.

7. What was your first stuffed animal & it's name?
I actually didn't have any stuffed animals growing up (that I remember) BUT I did have a pillow that my grandma made (I think?) that I carried everywhere. I called it my ducky pillow because it had ducks on it and I would fold it over my arm so often that the stuffing totally separated and started to fall apart. Last year I ripped the seams apart and kept the fabric. (YES, I kept that full sized ducky pillow my whole life!) I'll have to post pictures of me as a baby with it!

8. What's the drink you ALWAYS order at Starbucks?
I used to get White Hot Chocolate but I can never remember if it's gluten free, so the only thing I ever get is half-sweetened green tea. It's super cheap and delicious.
9. What's the beauty rule you preach.. but never ACTUALLY practice?
I can't think of any...I don't really preach beauty rules because I don't know any!

10. Which way do you face in the shower?
Away from the water except when I rinse my face.

11. Do you have any 'weird' body 'skills'?
I can pop my hip out, but that's it! I actually haven't tried to do it in years, so I don't even know if I can anymore...

12. What's your favorite 'comfort food'/food thats 'bad' but you love to eat it anyways?
Sugar. I've talked about how sugar makes me feel, but it's so hard to stay away from it! I definitely try to stay away but I still eat it and try not to let myself feel guilty for it.

13. What's a phrase or exclamation you always say?
'For real? No way!' Dude. Nut uh.' 'Whhhaaaaaaat.'

14. Time to sleep - what are you wearing?
Just like Caitlin, I only sleep in my undies!

And to end this post on a funny note, check out this tag that was on a Columbia sweater we bought someone for Christmas! Hahaha...

Food Love: Gluten Free Cinnamon Rolls

2011-12-10T15:22:00.000-07:00

I have discovered the holy grail of gluten free cinnamon rolls, and I am here to share it with you.

I found a recipe at The Baking Beauties, and it is BY FAR the best baked gluten free food I have ever had and tastes exactly like 'regular' cinnamon rolls. They are so amazing that the first day I ate them, I ate three, the second day I ate two, and the third day I ate three. Yes, I ate the whole 8x8 pan by myself in three days and I don't regret it one bit.

I copied and changed the recipe a little bit and that's what I've posted here, but to see the original, go here. You should check out the blog either way, it's an amazing resource that has been added to my must read blog list! (Seriously, GF bagel recipes?! I might try that this weekend, it's been years since I've had one!)

Gluten Free Cinnamon Rolls
Filling:
3Tbsp butter, melted
1/2 c packed brown sugar
2 Tbsp cinnamon
Mix all ingredients in a small bowl.

Topping
4 Tbsp butter
1/2 c brown sugar
2 Tbsp real maple syrup (not the cheap stuff you put on pancakes) or corn syrup
1 tsp vanilla
2 Tbsp milk or half&half
In a small saucepan over low heat, combine butter, sugar, and syrup until the brown sugar is dissolved. Add vanilla and milk/half&half and mix until combined, then pour HALF of the mix into the bottom of a greased round 8x8 pan. The other half you will use after the cinnamon rolls are out of the oven as a topping.

Dough:
2 1/2 cups GF mix (see here for a recipe or use something like Bob's Red Mill)
1/2 cup tapioca starch
1 Tbsp rapid rise yeast
3 Tbsp white sugar
1/2 tsp salt
3 tsp xanthan gum
1/4 cup dry milk
1 tsp baking powder
4 Tbsp margarine
1/2 cup water
3/4 cup milk
1 egg, room temperature
1 tsp cider vinegar
2 Tbsp veggie oil
1 tsp vanilla

Directions: (I didn't change this at all, this is from the original recipe)

In the bowl of your stand mixer, mix all dry ingredients until combined. Set aside.
Put water and margarine in a glass measuring cup and microwave just until the margarine has melted. Remove from microwave and stir. Add milk, stir. Add other wet ingredients and whisk to combine.
With the stand mixer running (using the paddle attachment), pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients. Scrap down the bowl if you have to.
Allow to mix on medium speed for 3 minutes.
Take a piece of plastic wrap and lay it out on a slightly damp counter top, so it covers an area bigger than 8″ x 16″. Sprinkle 2 Tbsp of sugar on the wrap. Lay ball of dough on top of that. Gently lay another piece of plastic wrap over the top of the dough. Pat the dough down into a roughly squarish shape. Lift and reposition the top plastic wrap whenever you need to. Roll the dough out (with the plastic wrap on top) to a square approximately 8″ x 16″.
Remove plastic wrap. Spread filling mixture evenly across dough’s surface. Leave 1 1/2″ along one long end without any filling, this is where your cinnamon rolls will be sealed.
Starting along the long end, use the bottom sheet of plastic wrap to lift the edge of the dough and roll it up, forming a long cylinder. Start with the edge that has filling on it, that will be the center of your finished rolls.
Using a long piece of dark thread (light colours can be lost in the dough), cut the long “cinnamon bun log” into 8 pieces, about 1 1/2″ wide. You can do this by placing the thread underneath the roll, crossing it at the top, and pulling the threads so they cross each other, pulling it through the dough. This way, you won’t be squishing your dough down by cutting with a knife. Place rolls in prepared pan, with cut side up. I like to push the rolls down to about 1″ high.
Allow the cinnamon rolls/buns to rise in a warm, draft free place for about 30 minutes, or until nearly double in size.
Bake in preheated 350 degree F oven for 20-25 minutes, or until the tops are a nice golden brown.
Allow to cool for about 5 minutes before inverting on a serving tray, and let the syrup run down over the rolls.
Added: Re-heat the rest of the topping and pour over warmed cinnamon rolls or dip your rolls into it.

Let me know if you try this out, it will be the best decision of your life if you are gluten free! Hehe.

Thanks, Music

2011-12-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

One thing that would be terrible to lose in my life is music. Everyone loves music! It's so enjoyable to go home and pick one of millions of songs to match your mood. It's such a simple fix to a bad day and a great background to a great day! These are two songs that I love love love and everytime they come on my iPod I can't help but to turn them up and belt them out. Vince loves to hate me in those situations!

The Capricorns - The New Sound
I first heard this song in middle school or early high school and everytime I hear it I want to dance like a complete weirdo. I usually do!

Mika - Relax, Take It Easy
I feel like I've posted about this before, but everytime I hear this song I get shaky because I'm so excited to sing it! I feel like such a goof. If I could listen to this loudly every morning, I swear I would have so many more 'good' days!

Most of my music isn't so techno-ey (I like ska a whole lot more!) but I guess I've been in this kind of mood the past few days.

Day trips are the best!

2011-12-06T22:18:00.014-07:00

Thanks, iPhone, for that beautiful sunflare!

The Friday after Thanksgiving, instead of staying in town and battling all the crazy shoppers, Vince, Roxanne and I headed down to Sedona. The sweet part was that his work needed a shipment to go down there to their other store, so the trip was paid for! For the time Vince was working he was clocked in and our gas was reimbursed. Score! The only bad thing was that Roxi had to ride down with a ton of boxes. She had her space and an open window, though, so she was happy!

Another bad thing? I forgot my camera. BUT, I used my phone, so at least it's something.

We didn't do too much sightseeing anyways, just enjoyed the drive and time together. Vince wanted to visit a couple other bike shops down there that he had never been to and chat up the owners. One of the shops, was recently opened by a guy he knows, and he had a pump track in the back! Vince was pretty stoked about it and tested it out for a minute.

I tried to go to a couple of candy stores to get some ice cream or chocolate and nothing was gluten free! It was all cross contaminated, which kind of bummed me out. It's probably best that I didn't waste money anyways.

All in all it was a pretty great way to spend Black Friday. Vince wants it to be a tradition, and I have to agree with him! Hopefully in the future we won't be on such a tight budget so we can go out and eat some yummy gluten free food instead of leftover turkey!

I didn't even know I took a picture of that cross, but rest in peace, gone soul!

Food Love: Gluten Free Breads

2011-12-03T15:32:00.001-07:00

I don't typically buy prepackaged gluten free food or mixes for a couple of reasons:
1) It usually tastes like crap. Yes, manufacturer's have come a long way in the way gluten free food tastes, but a lot of the time it's still not great. It's always a little too dry or too off. I know that I can always make something better myself, so I don't even want to try it.
2) It's expensive. Like way way way expensive. A box of cookies that has 10 cookies? $6. And if you refer back to #1, they typically taste like crap. A mix for one loaf of bread? $5. And then I have to have the ingredients like oil, eggs, etc, on top of that. Sorry, but I'm too cheap for that!

So given those two reasons above, I usually steer clear of gluten free foods. A few weeks ago, I was given some prepackaged stuff from my grandma and another was on sale, and I'm in love with one of them and kind of like the other.

The first one I tried was Bob's Red Mill GF Cinnamon Raisin Bread Mix. If I bought it at my local grocery it's about $5.50, though it's frequently on sale at 2/$7, which is still quite pricey because the mix only makes one loaf.

What I liked about it:

It's a mix, so it's obviously simple to do. Throw everything in a mixer a ta-da, you're done!
The loaf wasn't too crumbly. It sticks together pretty well so it doesn't fall apart when you bring it to your mouth.
It tasted great. There was just the right amount of raisins and cinnamon.
The loaf was a real sized loaf. It rose quite a bit and didn't sink like some GF bread does.

What I didn't like:

You have to let it rise for an hour in addition to cooking it for an hour, and I am way to impatient for that!
The crust was hard. Like super hard. I couldn't eat the end pieces and I cut off the crust on most pieces I ate.
I had to load it up with butter because it was a little too dry. I don't mind butter, but when I ran out of butter a couple of pieces were wasted because I didn't want to eat it plain.

Final Opinion:

Overall, it wasn't bad, but I don't know if I'd ever buy it again, even on sale. I might buy it one more time and put it in muffin rings instead of making a loaf to see how they turn out.

The second one I tried was Eating Gluten Free's GF Bread/Pizza Mix.

I have to say, I AM IN LOVE. The EGF cookbook was the GF cookbook I ever bought and it's still one of my favorites. (Pst, all of the recipes in the book are also on their website for free!) One of the owners, Betsy, is my second cousin (or something?) so my grandma told me about her and her upcoming company at the time. I never bought any of the mixes, though, I just followed their online bread recipe (which I think is the exact same as the mix, you just have to mix the flours yourself). When my grandma was getting ready to leave for Peru, she asked me if I wanted all the mixes she had and I of course said YES.

What I like:

Just like the cinnamon bread, it's a mix, so it's simple!
It smells amazing, just like gluten filled bread. I know it's the yeast, but it reminds me of making regular bread as a kid.
After the bread is mixed, the dough looks so yummy and creamy. I know this has nothing to do with the quality of the bread, but it looks so pretty!
It isn't crumbly at all. It's SO light and fluffy.
Vince loves it, even though he is not gluten free. When we make sandwiches, he eats it and devours it. The downside of that is that I have to make bread more often!
I can cook it in muffin rings so it's only a 25 minute rise time and 20 minute cook time. Fresh bread in 45 minutes!
It freezes WONDERFULLY. If you're gluten free, you know that you need to freeze bread so it stays good. With other breads I've eaten, it sometimes gets a little 'tough' after it's been in the freezer but with this, after a minute in the microwave it tastes fresh out of the oven.
It's $10 a bag, which seems like a lot, but I get SO much bread out of a bag. I've only used about half a bag (maybe a little more) and I've made bread three times, which is about 42 bread rounds. (As you can see in the pictures, I use english muffin rings to make my bread, which are about 4 inch circles.)

What I don't like:

Sometimes I wish it were more 'multigrain', but most of the time I don't care. My grandma uses this mix and a lot of the time she'll substitute a small portion of the mix with something else, like oat flour, which gives it a little more nutritional value.
I can't buy it unless I'm in Utah or want to pay quite a bit for shipping. In the past I would chip in with my grandma to buy large quantities of flour (think 50lb bags of corn starch, teff flour, etc) and she would drive up there and get it when she visited family. Now I don't have that option! Now I'll have to keep an ear out for people who are driving to Utah...

Final Opinion:

I have tons of flour to make this bread with, so I am excited about that, otherwise I would make a trip up to Utah, I love it that much. When I run out, I will definitely buy more, given the opportunity to. It's SO nice to have everything pre-mixed so that when I'm ready I just have to throw everything into the mixer and know it will taste delicious every time.

Do you have any recommendations for gluten free mixes?

Already?

2011-12-01T16:11:00.000-07:00

My Car I’m thankful for my Subaru that can romp through the snow. For a couple years Vince and I chose not to have a car and for the most part, it was wonderful. But riding the bus on snowy days? Sucked. The buses were always running WAY late, yet I would still feel the need to get to the stop on time just in case, and my stop didn’t have any kind of shelter and was on a busy street. That meant that I was always so cold and when a big truck would fly by snow would go everywhere and a huge breeze would freeze me to my bones. I’m thankful that I now have a car that can get me safely and warmly to where I need to go.

Medicine I’m also thankful for Zicam. Over Thanksgiving Vince got sick, and then he got me sick. When I have a cold I’m usually not the coughing type, my head just gets overloaded with gunk and my eyes get swollen and watery and my face feels like it’s going to explode. It hurts so bad! But Zicam came to the rescue this time and I love it. My cold isn’t totally gone but it helps a LOT with the pressure in my head.

Food Homemade Turkey Noodle Soup. I used leftovers from Thanksgiving and this was SO perfect for my cold, as well as Vince’s. I forget how easy-peasy it is to make this soup (and chicken noodle) but I am definitely going to remember to make more of it throughout the winter!

Diagnosis' And the last thing I’m going to mention today is how thankful I am that I know I have celiac disease. I remember SO many holidays as a kid that I just felt awful and couldn’t explain to my parents why. I would just be so sick and I’m so so thankful that I’m not this year. I’m glad I have the knowledge and ability to prepare delicious food for my family and that I can be a healthy happy person eating it.

Meme time.

2011-11-27T11:29:00.001-07:00

I saw Sara do this little meme a little while ago, and I wanted to post a blog today, yet didn't want to put too much work into, so here we are.

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? That's a tough one. I feel like during the holidays I choose Egg Nog just because that's the only time i can have it. BUT, if Egg Nog was available year round I probably wouldn't ever choose to drink it because it's really not that good. I always crave it throughout the year and make it so delicious in my mind but when I get to drink it? All I really get is a stomachache.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? As a kid they were all wrapped. Now I'm lucky even we even make it to Christmas before we give each other out gifts! Also, we don't have room for a tree...

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? On the house, colored, on the tree, white.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? No, I steal kisses when I want them!

5. When do you put your decorations up? As an adult, I haven't put up any decorations until this year. Vince and I picked up a few things at the dollar store today though, and we now have a cute santa face for the front door, a snowy doormat for the front door and some red lights.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Mashed potatoes or pumpkin pie with cool whip. I love cool whip.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? As weird as it is, it was reading scriptures in my grandparents bed! They had a big bed and me and my 2 brothers and sisters and 7 aunts and uncles and parents and cousins would always have to lay in/around the bed and read the Book of Mormon before we were allowed to open presents. While I definitely won't be reading my kids the BoM it would be nice to keep with that tradition of reading in bed but read something else!

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I was staying the night at my grandparents and my mom had all of our presents in a back room where she was wrapping them. I accidentally walked in and saw this doll that I REALLY wanted. I quickly closed the door and went back to bed but in the morning I saw that it said it was from Santa. Then I said that Santa didn't give me this, my mom did! It was over from then on for everyone...

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yep! We have ALWAYS had to go Christmas Caroling before we could open one though. That included the whole family (whoever was in twon at the moment) to load up in vans and go caroling to many many houses, between 5 and 10. We would even have chimes and we'd make the families cry every year.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Our house is too small for one! Our first year here we bought a 3 foot fake one, but we had no where to store in for the rest of the year and it truly took up too much space. One of us was always knocking it over so we sold it at a yard sale. This year, we're going to decorate some of the art we had hanging up! We have a huge yarn tree thing in our living room so we bought little decorations to pin onto it. I can't wait for us to do it, and I'll be sure to post pictures!

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? I can't answer that, I change my answer minute to minute!

12. Can you ice skate? I used to go every Friday in elementary school! I haven't gone in years but I'm sure I can still do it!

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? My Walkman and a 98 Degrees CD. Seriously. My sister and I both got Walkmans one year and she got a Backstreet Boys CD and for weeks after our dad yelled at us to turn our headphones down because he could hear them. That was ALL we did: listen to music! (Crappy music at that...ha!)

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Being with family and friends!

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Pumpkin or Pecan Pie.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? It seems like my family has SO many traditions, it's hard to pick a favorite! One tradition that I'm definitely sticking to for my family of Vince and I is making my grandmas potato soup and clam chowder. I don't think I've ever eaten anything else for Christmas and even though my grandparents are in Peru for 2 years, I got the recipe and will make it!

17. What tops your tree? Haven't decided on that yet...

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Neither! Both are too stressful, I'd rather just hang around and eat lots of food.

19. Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum? Yum! I like the fruity ones too!

20. Favorite Christmas show? I don't know of any Christmas shows, so none?

21. Saddest Christmas Song? I don't know, most of the Christmas songs I know are pretty cheerful!

22. What is your favorite Christmas song? I posted about it last year, and it's definitely my favorite! I still don't remember the name of it though...I'll have to ask my grandma. I'm guessing that's going to be the first song my niece knows because I sing it to her all the time even when it's not Christmas! Here's the lyrics again:

Long ago one cold cold night,

bringing gifts of wonderous sights,

three kings seek a star above to honor the gift of love.

Now every winter when the wind blows

and the chill in the air warns of snow,

gifts are exchanged in remembrance of that special gift of love.

Ring the bells, ring the bells,

Christmas is coming,

Sound of hope, sound of joy,

for this gift of love.

Nontraditional

2011-11-24T14:41:00.001-07:00

Everyone is the blogosphere is going to write a 'What I'm Thankful For' post today and I am, too. But mine? Will not be like anyone else's. Sure, I am thankful for my family, my friends, my house, etc. but I'm probably going to be over hearing about everyone's family by the end of the day and I'm sure you will, too, so I will spare you! Instead, I will write about the teeny tiny things in my life that I'm thankful for.

Strange Spoons This one is insanely helpful around the house and I love it to the moon and back. It's perfect for many things, such as scraping out little yogurt containers, eating an avacado, stirring my tea, and eating food when I am out of regular spoons.

Yoga Ball It's a great foot rest as well as a back stretcher, though I rarely use it for actual yoga. Vince enjoys bouncing the ball towards Roxanne and watching her get nervous.

Mason Jars I am QUEEN at breaking stuff. I just have to look at a nice expensive things and poof! it's shattered. Mason jars are awesome though and rarely seem to break. Luckily we have wood floors, which helps prevent them from breaking as well. I think I've only broken one in the past year! These are the only cups we have aside from coffee mugs and I love them. It's also super classy when our friends are over and we serve wine in them...haha!

What? How did those Twilight books get there?! Hehe I must admit that I got two of them from the libraries Summer Reading Program for free and the other two were $.50!

Built in Shelves Our house is so teeny and it would be even smaller if we had to have a stand-out bookshelf. It's so nice to store books and some craft stuff on it! We also have built in shelves in the bathroom lining one wall (a whole 5 feet wide, our bathroom is teeny as well!) and it's kind of a catchall for stuff that won't fit elsewhere.

Electric Heater We have a behemoth gas heater in our living room that takes up so much room but doesn't heat the whole house. It just makes the living room like a sauna and the rest of the house freezing. It's nice to have this electric heater that I can move around the house with me that works super well. I highly recommend it, it's not too expensive and it great!

Pre-Thanksgiving Food That My Husband Made and Then Served So Tastefully I mean seriously, how can I not be thankful for him and a tamale with an over-easy egg?!

You could run that child over!

2011-11-23T09:40:00.001-07:00

As a young teenager, I didn't believe that the adults in my life really affected me in any way. My thought process was that, no matter who I lived with or surrounded myself with, I would still be the same person. People couldn't affect my thoughts or actions.

Oh, but how wrong I was.

Last night I was driving home from class and noticed a giant box in the road with items strewn everywhere, across 2 lanes of traffic. A little further down the road there was a giant, and I mean giant stuffed bag of clothes-one that would wreck my car if I tried to run it over. I immediately thought, 'I need to call the police!' So I safely on speakerphone called the non-emergency police number and let them know of the situation and explained what intersections the items were at.

When I got off the phone, I thought about why I did that. Why did I call the police right away to tell them about that? I was already safely passed it! Then I had a memory from waaaay long ago of me and my grandma driving along the highway. There was a large box that was barely in one of the lanes, sort of resting on the white and as soon as she saw it she quickly reached for her phone.

I reminded her that she shouldn't talk and drive, so she gave it to me and told me to call the police. I laughed and asked, 'What? Why would I do that!' She asked me if I had seen the box on the side of the road and I replied in my smart aleck way, 'Duh?'

She told me that an officer needed to come grab it so that nobody would get hurt. I laughed and said, 'It's only a cardboard box, anyone could run it over and it would just flatten.'

Then she got all wise and asked, 'Ahh, but is it just an empty box? What if someone was moving and it's full of their stuff? Or what if a child was playing in it in the back of their dads truck and it fell off! Then someone might run that child over and kill them!!'

At that point, I was a little traumatized, thinking, 'We almost killed some kid!' until I realized she was just making a point: we didn't know what was in the box and that it was better to be safe and call it in.

So I called it in for her and it didn't really cross my mind again until now. It's little memories like these that make me realize all the great people in my like growing up. Sure, I had a bunch of crappy and bad influences, but it was the great ones that really stood out and shaped me into a great person. (In case you didn't know, I'm a great person.) I love you gram!

Hate.

2011-11-21T17:39:00.000-07:00

You know how 'they' say 'Everything in moderation?' Well, I've been posting a lot about what I love, so now it's time for what I hate. I'm not in a bad mood or anything, sometimes things just get on my nerves and it's nice to vent about it. (And with all that positivity out in the blogging world that sometimes makes me want to puke, I feel the need to counteract it. Ha!)

Whites (As in clothing, not people) Every time I do a load of white laundry, I always find something around the house that I forgot. It's especially annoying because my load in never full since I don't have that many whites, so I'm paying for a half-full load. Which, after my previous laundromat experiences, makes me mad.

Dog Hair It never ever ever ever ever goes away. Roxanne doesn't shed very much, but I can never get it all swept/mopped off the floor! There's always little tufts of her hair that never manage to make it to the trash.

Chapped Lips I drink massive amounts of water throughout the day, and if I have a day where I don't drink as much, my lips are immediately chapped for 3+ days! Nothing but time and more water seems to make it go away.

Dirty Keyboards Last week I took off all the keys on my MacBook and cleaned them all individually. I was so sick of looking at the brown grossness and the dog hair that was getting stuck in the keys. Now it looks brand new!

Loose Keys As a result of taking all my keys off last week, I haven't been able to put a few on correctly! The escape key, down arrow, and a shift button need a little finagling to work right.

Internet Oh my lord. My internet company was bought-out by a larger one and they touted that they were 'Faster and better than before!' But now it is WAY bad. Our internet was nice and fast before and I didn't have a single problem. Then after the company switched, I've had problem after problem and the internet is so slow. Screw you, Suddenlink! There's a new local Internet provider in town, and I keep meaning to drop by and try out their 30 day free trial, but I keep forgetting. Oof.

So, what are you hatin' lately? Come on, tell me you first world problems.

My reads.

2011-11-19T17:20:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a lot with my time lately, and when I do something that isn't productive I feel so terrible about it. Some days I'll come home from work and just sit on the couch for a few hours reading blogs until Vince comes home. When I'm finished with them, I rarely feel happy or better about myself despite what I've read! Because of this, I am going to try and limit my blog reading by a massive amount. If I don't come away from that blog feeling great or thought-inspire every time (because some blog posts won't be 'happy' ones, and that's ok!) then I won't read them.

In a way I feel bad because some of blogs I used to read are also readers of mine. I feel like I need to reciprocate their readership in a way, but do I really? Should I feel like I need to or should I just be fine knowing that they enjoy reading my blog? I feel like all the blogs I read are really great, but at the same time, not totally necessary in my life, given the amount of time it takes to read and comment. I'd rather live my real life, have a clean house, and spend time with my husband walking the dog!

I know there will be some days where I'll click back through blogs I used to read which are all on my blogger profile and 'catch up' on them but I don't think I need to be caught up on everything they post as soon as they post it. I need to focus more on my life!

When we moved over the summer we didn't have internet for a few weeks and I was WAY more productive. I wasn't able to sit on the couch and watch Netflix and I wasn't able to surf the Internet which left me with a lot of time to organize, create things, read, and just enjoy downtime. I really want that again!

I'm still going to blog because this is ultimately for me and this is my creative outlet, but I definitely feel the need to cut back on some reading. I feel so torn because there are a lot of people that I've really grown to love as I've gotten to know them over the Internet! But in the end? I come away from their blogs and in all reality my life isn't changed. Sure it's nice to see their pretty outfits or hear about the book they read, but it's not something that affects my life in a dramatic enough way for me to spend my time on it.

So here's a list of the few blogs I read that are absolutely fantastic, in alphabetical order (and keep in mind, I don't read blogs every day...I don't have time!):

2birds1blog - Abso-freaking-lutely hilarious. 100% inappropriate (for real) but 100% amazing.

Dooce - I read Heather Armstrongs book It Sucked and Then I Cried, and my life was changed. I saw depression in a whole new way and was at peace with it. Turns out, she also writes a blog and I spent months of my life reading every single post of hers and she is by far my favorite Internet person in the world. She is so extremely hilarious at times, yet so completely honest at other times. It's a great balance.

Emmy Suh - Every single one of her posts are a million miles long, but I love them nonetheless. They are so insanely funny and so heartfelt, and even though you realize you just spent a half hour reading her blog, you are ok with that. I wish I knew her in real life!

Enjoying the Small Things - Kelle Hampton has 2 daughters and one of them has down syndrome, but she doesn't focus on that; she just focuses on life! The way she writes makes every single ounce of life absolutely precious and I've never walked away from reading her blog without feeling over-the-moon ecstatic. She is just amazing and has love pouring out of her, and her blog is the first thing I check for a new post. And her pictures? Stunning. Such an inspiring lady...she's definitely my#2 most favorite person in the blogging world!

Luminous and Edible - I came across a link to her blog that was talking about how she's getting out of debt and I loved it. She outlined the process she used and it was inspiring! She posts about various things which is great.

PostSecret - If you aren't reading this yet, just go. Click it.

RunningWildly - This is a nursing blog, but she doesn't always write about nursing. It's great to read posts about the emotional side of nursing, because that's definitely the part I feel I'll have the most trouble with!

Tales of a School Zoned Nurse - Another nursing blog, obviously about a school nurse. It's such an eye opener to see how screwed up our school system is, especially when it comes to children's health. This lady is in charge of thousands of kids at a few schools...which means at any given time the other schools she is in charge of won't have a nurse at them. I would be outraged if my child was in school without a nurse present...especially if they were diabetic or had sever allergies!

The Rhythm Method - She's a lovely lovely writer and every single time I leave her blog I just think and think and think. Her posts are so full of so many great points!

The Traveling PhoBlogWriPher - Sara is such a kind soul and is another person who just loves life! I'm a little jealous of her, because she and her husband are soon going to start traveling the country in their Winnebago Brave! You have to check her blog out if you haven't already, she's so amazing!

The Bloggess - Another one of those slightly inappropriate blogs, but it's just too funny to ignore!

Welcome to Sara's Organized Chaos - Her blog is so 'everywhere' that I can't help but love it. In one post she's explaining how her and her husband are working through his infidelity, the next she's talking about her cake decorating class, the next she's doing a book review. I love that she posts on such an array of topics and she's SO funny in the process.

Blogs of Note: These are ones that I check about once a week on Sundays because I like to be caught up on them, just not every day! I also like reading a few posts at once because they tend to be short:
Holly's House (Not a Perfect Mom's Blog)
The Ivory Tower Library
Just Let Me Finish This Chapter...
The Meanest Mom
Peachy Keen
Take-Hart

I also regularly check my family members blogs, but notice how I've cut out a lot of the 'big' blogs that I used to read? While I love what each individual posts, I'm so sick of the sponsors and the sponsor posts! I know some people make their blog a business, but I end up clicking 'Mark as Read' on most of their posts even though I didn't read it. It makes me sad, but it drives me nuts to go to the blog, knowing what it used to be when it was sponsor-free. It makes me think about sponsorship and I wonder if I'd ever do it (granted that my blog had many readers.) I really love the way Kelle at Enjoying the Small Things incorporates her sponsors though, it's so much better! I feel like it's appropriate to have a sponsor and giveaways, but to have multiple posts a month dedicated to them? It's just too much for me! And honestly, do I want a pair of Blowfish shoes(Not to pick on Blowfish, but they are everywhere right now! haha), and will I really be the lucky winner out of 4,000 others?

Anyways, did I mention I've got an iPhone now? I must say, having it makes blog reading so much easier(along with many other things in life, seriously). If I'm waiting for a prescription or am on break at work I can pull out my phone and read a few posts instead of sitting there doing nothing! Then, when I get home I don't have any to read and can focus on other things!

So, I think I mentioned all the blogs I read, and if not, I'll update it later!

Happy Happy Joy Joy

2011-11-17T21:43:00.000-07:00

Things in life that have been making me happy and thankful:

Class - I have clinicals for my nursing assistant class on Friday and Saturday and I'm excited! What are they, you ask? Well, basically I go to a nursing home one weekend and the hospital another weekend and I do hands on experience as a CNA. It's not the most fun work, but at least I'll get my first experience in the 'medical world'. And I get to wear some ugly SUPER white shoes. (And ignore the less than awesome quality of the pictures, they're from my iPhone and somewhat poorly lit!)

Books - I am reading Jodi Picoult's book 'Perfect Match' and I love it. I've been reading a few other books recently but just haven't really gotten into them. But, as usually, I'm completely infatuated with anything Picoult writes!

Dates - I went on a date wih my man last night and it was fun! We went and saw a movie at the university here in town and there was a great discussion afterwards. More on that to come!

Salads - Vince and I have been eating massive amounts of sales the past few weeks and we've been loving it. I figured it that if I just prepare a huge salad at the beginning on the week I'm way more likely to eat it than if I just made a 'new' salad each time. It totally makes sense, I've just never done it before!

Christmas - Figuring out Christmas presents for people. I'm basically doing the same thing for everyone, but I'm personalizing it! I wanted to keep it cheap since I'm quitting my job soon, but still personal and nice.

Validation - Having people tell me they love my blog. I know I shouldn't need validation, but honestly, it's super awesome to hear every so often!

Love - A dog and a husband that love to cuddle each other.

It seems like the easiest post of the week is Thursday, because I have a 'specific' topic to post on! I really need to get back to specific things on specific days like I used to so I can get in the groove of writing/blogging again...

Believe it.

2011-11-13T19:42:00.000-07:00

I no longer have any qualms about my body. It's strange.

To start from the beginning:

I've never really had body issues like a lot of women have and I am SO grateful for that. I don't think I have the perfect body in any way, body things just never seemed to worry me. I did have 3 things that I was somewhat self conscious about until recently, though, that just seem silly to me now.

The first thing was how skinny I was. I was CONSTANTLY made fun of growing up because I was so skinny. So many people at school would joke around calling me anorexic and twig and a lot of hurtful things. It was so frustrating because I ate SO much damn food! Little did I know at the time that the food I was eating was making me sick, and that was why I was so skinny.

I was talking to a friend in high school and said that I felt like I got made fun of as much as an overweight person did. He was taken aback and said that there was no way that was true. But it felt like I was, because the words truly did hurt me. I was made fun of on a daily basis, certain people weren't friends with me because of it, and it was on my mind all the time. Every time I would eat at lunch, I would think everyone was thinking that I was going to go throw it up after or something. I obviously don't actually know what people though, but that's how I felt. I was always so self conscious when eating.

When I found out that I had celiac and couldn't gluten, I became even more self conscious in a way. I would go out with my friends and I would usually only be able to eat a salad, which for a long time was SO embarrassing! Here I am, this skinny tall girl, sitting with friends as they're eating delicious lasagna, fried zucchini or giant yummy burritos, while I sit there with a small salad. And there were times when I couldn't even eat dressing which made it more embarrassing because it would make me think that people thought I wasn't eating dressing to save on calories or something. Ya, I clearly overthought a lot, but I couldn't help it!

For some reason, I have a calm feeling about it now. If I want a salad and I'm skinny, who cares? Why do I care if this person thinks I don't eat enough? I'm most likely never going to see them again! I know that I eat enough food and I know that I eat a lot of healthy food. I also know that I eat a lot of unhealthy food, and I'm totally fine with that.

Another issue that I've dealt with my whole life is my legs. They are SO white, and they have gross looking spider veins. I've always had them for as long as I can remember, and I absolutely hate them. When I would go swimming at our local pool, other kids would remark that I have old lady legs and oh man, would that hurt. I was so embarrassed! To solve that issue I just never wore short shorts or skirts. When I would go swimming I would always wear boys board shorts over my bottoms to hide my legs.

Over the summer for my birthday some friends and I went to the creek. I was considering wearing my longer shorts that go to my knees, but another friend had just given me a pair of her old shorts that were SO cute and I really wanted to wear them. They were super short though, so I didn't think I wanted to wear them. Then all of the sudden, something just came over me and I started laughing. Would my friends really care if my legs weren't perfect looking? They probably didn't notice and it was just in my head! So I wore those shorts and when we got to the creek, I even took them off and just wore my swimsuit. That is something I rarely do, and only when Vince and I are alone at the creek. It was so awesome to just walk along the creek and truly not care what my body looked liked. I had no worry about it at all, and it made me so happy!

A while ago I had some errands to do around town and it was HOT. The only pants I had that were clean were a pair that are not breathable at all and I feel like 5 times hotter than I really am in them. So I decided to wear a skirt. A mini skirt, actually. And let me tell you, it was WONDERFUL. I wasn't as hot as I would have been had I been in pants, and I was working on my 'tan' while walking around town!

The last problem I had is a tattoo on my back that I got when I was 16 in some persons kitchen. It was supposed to be a peace sign, and it looks SHITTY. So horrible. For a long time I was super embarrassed by it and would only wear/buy a shirt if it covered the tattoo. Like the skirt thing, there was a hot day a couple weeks ago and I just wanted to wear a strapless shirt. I was worried about not having my tattoo covered up. Again, something came over me and I just didn't care anymore. I was frickin' hot, and I didn't want to wear a regular shirt. So I put on my strapless one and was confident in how I looked. Maybe it's the fact that I have other tattoos that are really great pieces of art, but I just was over caring about my back!

So there you have it; silly things I used to worry about, that for some reason I don't anymore. I still don't think my bodies perfect, but I just don't care, which is such a liberating thing. You should try it!

Ok, and here's a side note: My husband's an ass. While I was sitting here typing, he asked, 'Are you ever gunna get rid of that baby fat?' referring to my double chin I get when I pull my head back. He was joking because I always laugh about my double chin in pictures, but still! He totally owes me a backrub for that.

The pain...

2011-11-11T11:48:00.000-07:00

Read this article; take a half hour from your day and read the whole thing. (Unless you're a military spouse, and in that case, you'd just be putting yourself through torture...) It's incredibly sad and will bring you to tears and rip your stomach and heart apart, but it's beautifully written and reminds you that many many people are affected by this war we're in. It puts a face to all this chaos that, I will admit, sometimes doesn't phase me when I read that another person has died. I need to remember that it's real men and women out there, putting their lives on the line, and real families who lose people that are most important to them.

THANK YOU to those of you who defend this country of ours, no matter how fucked up it is. I know I don't have the courage to face death every day, whether yours or someone else's, and it amazes me that you do.
THANK YOU to the spouses and families who have lost your loved ones or have someone away from home right now. I can't imagine the worry all of you have to go through on a daily basis.

Lovin' it...

2011-11-10T15:41:00.001-07:00

Winter Days I'm thankful for cold, cozy days with pretty fall leaves that are...falling, and falling fast! I'm pretty sure this tree in my front yard doesn't have any leaves on it anymore.

Over the past few weeks I've really enjoyed the walks I've taken Roxy on. It's been pretty cold, but there are those days (especially after it's snowed) where the weather seems insulating, almost warm and inviting in it's own way. I've tried to not have the mentality of 'Damn, it's going to be cold outside, I don't want to do it!' and instead I just bundle up, making sure I'll stay warm.

My Body I'm also thankful for hands that are creative and am so thankful for a healthy body that allows me to do SO many incredible things. I take it for granted a lot of times, but like my 'Aha!' moment with nursing, I frequently get 'Aha!' moments with my body. I know some day I will grow old and my body won't be as well, so I hope I can continue to focus on all the good it does me right now, such as making scarves for Christmas!

Roxanne I can honestly say I never thought I would be able to love an animal this much. I always thought it was silly when people said they loved their dogs or had bumper stickers that said 'My heart belongs to {insert dog breed here}' but honestly? I've considered getting one myself! I love this little lady so much and, barring any health issues, I'm glad I'll be able to have her around for another 16 or so years!!

Are you thankful for anything?

If so, leave a comment or link up with some other bloggers!

I quit.

2011-11-04T11:34:00.000-06:00

I'm quitting my job and living life how I want to live it. Am I excited? Hell yes.

My job right now leaves me so empty inside that sometimes when I get home I just want to scream. I hate the way it makes me feel and I've felt this way since a couple of weeks after starting.

Why have I stayed so long then? Because I like the stability, the insurance, the money. Is it something I have to have in my life to survive though? No, not at all. There are a million other ways I can live my life that does not include this job.

I haven't talked much (if at all?) about my job and it's mainly because it wouldn't be a good post and I would get fired. I can't exactly pinpoint what it is, but every day after work I feel so drained, like my day was so incredibly wasted, which I don't get! I assist people in finding information on what they need and I put on really great programs for youth who might otherwise go home to a shitty place. Why isn't this satisfying? I love the kids I work with, so what gives?

Whatever the reason is, I plan on quitting the first week of January and I am thrilled. I'll start school full-time and I'll work part-time and the thought of that gives me the biggest grin on my face. I haven't decided if I'll work as a CNA (in a nursing home or the hospital) or if I'll work somewhere more upbeat like a bar or restaurant, but I know I'll be happy either way. I just need to make around $700 a month for bills and I'm good!

For the next couple months I plan on saving every penny I have and not buying anything except food. I've almost stuck with it for the past 3 weeks(seriously...I've only paid $5 when I went out with my friend for food, which blows my mind...I'm usually a spender!) Maybe I'll stick with that goal, maybe I won't, I'll have to wait and see. Hopefully, after bills and food, I'll have a little over $2,400 saved up. I don't plan on using that money to pay future bills, I just want to have it in savings in case I don't find a job as soon as I'd hoped.

No matter what happens, I am so excited about this new adventure in mine and my husbands life!

I was born to do this.

2011-10-31T21:34:00.000-06:00

I forgot about this post that I wrote...5 weeks ago...and I'm posting it now! I'm sitting on my couch sobbing because I just had to say goodbye to my grandparents for TWO YEARS while they are on their mission. I don't have a normal relationship with my grandparents; they raised me for some years growing up and I've always always always leaned on them for all types of support and it breaks my heart knowing I can't see them whenever I please. I'll write more about them soon, but until then, here's a post that I still feel strongly about. (Probably even more-so than 5 weeks ago!)

So I'm going to get all gushy here and tell you how amazing it feels to know that what I'm doing with my life is completely what is perfect for me and it feels so right.

Last night I was studying for my medical terminology class and I just started laughing and told Vince how amazing my mind is and that I'm awesome. I was sitting there, on my couch, reading about the heart and the circulatory system, and I was easily understanding everything I was reading! I quickly picked up on what valves were in the heart, what things did, and what all the crazy words meant. I couldn't believe that I was excited to even be learning about the heart!

When I was in high school, I barely passed health class because I didn't care about what we were learning. Why would I ever need to know about cholesterol or how the heart works? I can most definitely say that I learned the bare minimum when it came to how the body works and was not interested one bit. So now it's hilarious to me that I am learning about all the parts of the body and thoroughly enjoying it; I mean, how many people know what the jejunum is and what O&P, ABG, and PTT stand for, and how to pronounce 'serum glutamic-oxaloacetic transaminase'?!

When I sit down to study, I'm actually excited about it. Ya, it's hard to learn SO much information in so little time, but I am so in love with it. It's like a game to me to see how much I can learn about it and it makes me so antsy to start the actual nursing program. I'm still nervous about taking hard classes such as chemistry, but at least I'm motivated to get through it!

I'm hoping next semester to be able to go to school full time and work part time. Yes, that means quitting my job with amazing benefits and saying goodbye to my retirement fund. (Well, I'm actually going to withdraw my retirement fund for backup savings!) It's scary to know that I won't have a guaranteed income or regularity like I have now but it's so exhilarating to know that I'll be able to get through school sooner and finally be a nurse.

I can't wait to start the next step in my life and I feel so incredibly lucky that I've found what I want to do. I have a supportive husband who tells me that I shouldn't be surprised about learning quickly because I'm incredibly smart and he's a great support system to have.

Thankful Thursday...barely!

2011-10-27T23:52:00.001-06:00

I am SO thankful to spend every Friday with my niece. She is the cutest thing, and I'm so glad that I get to have a relationship with her that's unlike a lot of peoples! Sometimes it's frustrating to not get everything done I want on my day off, but it's an amazing thing to see how fast she is growing and be there to support her with each new goal. At the moment she really loves feeding herself, which is messy for me but joyful for the dog!! (Also, I just read the post I wrote after Alyla was born that is a letter to her and I can't believe how small she was! OH MY GOD.)

Gluten-free training.

2011-10-21T11:54:00.000-06:00

I just thought of a GENIUS idea, and I am so excited about it. My idea is towards the end of the post, this first part is a little background story...

I can't even tell you how many times I have gone to a restaurant that advertises their food as being gluten free, asked them a few questions about there products, and the person working there has NO idea what I'm talking about. They think gluten is sugar or dairy or something and hey, that's cool with me because I didn't know what the hell gluten was until I was gluten-free myself, BUT if they advertise gluten free products, the employee should know a little bit about it...like what gluten-free even means.

Tonight I was eating at a local pizzeria in town that is new to selling gluten free crust. I asked the guy at the front if he knew if their ranch was gluten free. (Do you know how long it's been since I've dipped greasy pepperoni pizza into ranch? THREE YEARS.) He didn't know, so he asked another girl. She didn't know, so she asked her manager. After a few minutes, she came back to tell me that the ranch was not gluten-free because it has mayonaise. I feel so horrible because the look on my face must have said, 'Uhh....are you stupid?' because why in the world would mayo have gluten?

I kindly told her that mayo shouldn't have gluten, and with a very serious face she asked me if I was sure. I sweetly laughed as I told her I was 100% sure, that I've eaten it hundreds of times. Then I said, 'I'm gluten free...maybe you thought I meant vegan?' All the while, the monologue in my head was saying, Even if I was vegan and couldn't have the mayo, I couldn't have the ranch anyway with all that MILK it's made up of! Dur!

She again questioned me, 'Are you sure though? Because my manager says it does. But if you say it doesn't, then you should be good to eat it.' Ha! I wish I could tell her what happens when I'm not so sure about something.

So on my walk home, after deciding not to go with the ranch, my brilliant idea came to me: I will write a letter to the businesses in town that offer gluten free options and volunteer myself to speak at an employee meeting to explain what gluten is and what it means to have celiac disease/be gluten intolerant. I will tell them where hidden gluten is, how they can avoid some cross-contamination, and what gluten does to a person who shouldn't have it, among other things.

I of course would be extremely happy to do it for free because it's MY body that will benefit from it, but hey, if the business throws a few freebies my way? I won't decline. I would think businesses could benefit so much from it because it's really not a hard thing to understand when it's explained properly; most people just don't know about it or have heard false information. It's also never a fun thing to look 'stupid' in front of your customer!

It was great because as I was about to leave, and after explaining to the guy what gluten is, he asked me if I wanted peppers or parmesan cheese. I said yes to both and he asked me, 'Just so I know for the future, peppers and parmesan are usually gluten free, right?' I wanted to jump and give him a high five and say, 'Yes, I'm so glad you want to learn what is and isn't gluten-free! SMART MAN.'

So here's my questions to you: Have any of you worked in a restaurant and gluten-free questions came up? Do you feel if you were an employee this kind of brief training would interest you? What kind of things would you like brought up in the training?

Thankful Thursday

2011-10-21T00:08:00.000-06:00

This is a short one...but I'm so thankful to finally have pictures with me and some of my favorite ladies!!

Tulasi Devi Photography and Design

Link up!

What if I can't have a baby?

2011-10-18T23:47:00.011-06:00

When I was a little girl, I used to love boy things. I would lay on the living room floor with my younger brother and random cousins that happened to be in town and we would play with matchbox cars. We'd make tracks out of paper, trade the sweet 'fast' cars back and forth, and try our damnedest to not get the crappy slow dump truck or crane.

One day, when I was 8 or 9, a switch flipped and I was in love with barbies. Like, obsessed. I know, 8 is a little old to start getting into barbies, right? But I loved them and loved doing their hair and playing in the tiny blow up pool for them. Barbies of course transitioned into baby dolls.

My grandma (who I was mainly living with in my baby doll phase) had the old Cabbage Patch Kids and we had a bald boy and a girl with red hair. I always loved the little boy and he was always my baby. I carried him around for a while, feeding him, burping him, ya know, regular baby stuff, until one day I was over it. I had moved on to the trampoline, coloring, and swimming at the ditch pool.

In church, a year or so later, one of the primary teachers was talking to us about kids. (The Mormons instill motherhood at an early age! Ha.) She was saying how one day we would all become mothers and fathers and that it was God's plan, etc, etc. The teacher asked us each a question, though I don't remember what it was, I just remember my answer: 'I don't think I can have kids.' The teacher asked me why I would say that, but I truly didn't have an answer, so I said, 'Because...' and moved on.

As I grew older and the idea of kids came up more and more in life I remembered what I said in church, and I still felt like that, like I don't think I could have kids. Not have kids in a parenting kind of way, but have kids in a physical way, like my body wouldn't be able to produce a kid. What kind of kid thinks they won't be able to have one?

I've talked many times about having kids and how I want them so so bad in the future, but there's still something inside me telling me that I can't have kids. It's a scary thought because almost everything I do in life is so that I can prepare myself to have kids. (Even though I'm not mormon anymore, it's a Mormon trait that's still deeply instilled in me!) I want to carry a little baby in my belly and feel it kick and move. I want to give birth to that little baby and feel it on my chest and feed it. That's what I want in life. But will I really be able to get it?

Vince and I have talked about what we would do if I couldn't have a kid or if he couldn't have one and even though we have the option to adopt, it terrifies me that I wouldn't be able to have one of my own. I feel like going and getting my eggs tested or something just to ease my mind!

Obviously I won't, and I'll just wait until the day when my husband and I are ready, but it's still a thought that goes through my head pretty frequently. I'm just hoping that it's me being paranoid because I want one so bad!

I've wanted to write this post for so long but it just seems too vulnerable in a way, so I haven't. BUT, now that I have a reason to for Pour Your Heart Out, I decided to link up! Lame excuse, but good enough for me to be fine writing about it! Haha.

Stumbling Saturday

2011-10-15T22:31:00.000-06:00

Addiction runs in my blood, I know this. So the best thing for me is to stay away from things I could potentially get addicted to. This includes things such as alcohol, drugs, cigarettes...ya know, the normal things people get addicted to. But you should know that this also includes things like tattoos, tater tots, and any website that let's you click a button and a brand new awesome thing will show up on your screen. The main website I'm talking about is StumbleUpon.

I've know about StumbleUpon for quite some time now. I understood the gist of it, but I decided that I would never go to that site because I knew it will be like crack for me. I resisted that urge deep inside of me to check it out...until a few weeks ago. And now? I'M ADDICTED.

There's just so many things to see and learn about! It's so hard to not hover my arrow over the stumble button because I know that even if the next webpage it brings up is horrible, I can click it again and the next thing might be amazing. That, my friend, is why it's addicting - there's always that 'what if?' question in the back of you mind wondering if that next click will blow your mind.

So if you are one of those people who have not ventured over to the dark side of StumbleUpon, DON'T DO IT. I'll share some of my favorite things here instead so that you don't have to sit in your dark living room with your pointer finger over your mouse clicking your life away, webpage by webpage.

Hanging Boat Bed

Oh hell no.

Ya...Telluride's got nothin' on this.

Or this!

Thunderstorms over the Grand Canyon

And some links:
10 Things You Didn't Know About Harry Potter
1994's Most Bizarre Suicide...This poor and unfortunate guy...it's so hard not to laugh at it.
Expectations vs Reality...SO funny I may have peed myself.
16 Wonderfully Stupid Test Answers I wish I had the guts to do stuff like this in high school.
Brainteasers
Can I go to Croatia, please?
Difference Between Love and Marriage